Why is my boyfriend suddenly texting me saying sorry?

[Anonymous]

And I don't know what to do? I haven't responded but feel like I should text him back out of kindness? When we broke up he told me to get the hell out of his life and never speak to him again. It broke my heart but I was like YOU GOT IT JERK! I sent him a goodbye text and never spoke to him, again. Cried myself to sleep for a long time. We work together and apparently he couldn't handle it because the first few weeks after our break-up he made my life at work hell! He tried to turn all of my friends and co-workers against me and berated me to the point that I had to go to a manager and fill out a report with HR!

Up until this point I have hated him for making me do that and have been content not speaking to him.

Then he text me for the first time yesterday saying he was sorry, "I'm sorry, sorry for the way I was". I didn't respond. The next day he text me again saying he was drunk when he wrote the text but that he was still sorry, that he is not doing well and that his ego's been demolished. He's also been calling all day long, too. I haven't answered but every time I don't answer I feel guilty.

I don't know what to do. Three months ago I was praying for the moment when he text me saying sorry so I could tell him exactly where to shove his apology but now that he's reaching out to me all the anger I felt seems like it vanishes into thin air and I fee BAD. Should I answer him and text him back? I don't know what to do.

Updates

+1 y

Sorry I meant to put EX-boyfriend in my title.

[allola]

He was drunk when he sent the texts. He wasn't drunk when he tried to turn everyone against you at work - he was just being an ass then.

The way I see it, there is no excuse for what he did.

Forgiveness is always pushed and what not. Personally, I'm a vengeful type of person - I hold a grudge for a long time. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't forgive him. If you feel like you can do it, then by all means, be the bigger person. Forgive him, but don't forget what he did. An apology is a step in the right direction, but an apology doesn't always mean the person has changed. And don't forgive him because you think you should, because you have every right not to. Accept his apology because you truly do forgive him.

I think that you should acknowledge his apology, but don't necessary jump on the friendship wagon yet. It doesn't work that way, because an apology does not fix everything. He basically destroyed your trust - let him earn it back. Until then, be wary.

[Kickrockslosers]

Don't respond to him ever! He treated you like you were disposable and doesn't deserve your friendship. Forgive him in your heart and move on. You'll be better for it and you really shouldn't have any complications with someone who treated you so badly. Whether he was drunk or not doesn't matter. The truth about how he felt about you was consistent; saying he hated you, making it difficult for you at work, sending that lame azz text message. All just playing games. He's not worth it and I'm sure you are a wonderful girl...so be strong and move on hun. There are plenty of great guys out there.

[Anonymous]

It must be hard to ignore all the flattering and the sincerity of the apologies (or the apparent sincerity).

In my opinion, I think actions speak louder than words. My advice would be to trust your gut feeling. If you personally still care for him and want to try again, then that's your prerogative, but if you're just having doubts because of his sudden change in behaviour, then I think you don't owe him anything.

Good luck babe! =)

[Hareless]

If he made you feel bad in front of your friends and co-workers - yes, the solution is not to write him back. Ok, maybe a year after all this. THen you will notice if he has a new girl or not. If he doesn`t and he still wants to apologize - you might give him a chance, but if you will find a better guy in that period- go for it.