I found condoms in a hidden desk drawer, is my man cheating?

First off, I do not typically snoop and I came across this spot on accident. So anyway, my boyfriend has a hiding place in his desk at our house that he didn't know I knew about. About two month ago, I found the drawer and in it were jeweler cards with ring numbers on it (engagement rings). Well, as any 23 year old girl would do I kept a close watch on this drawer. I went to Las Vegas to visit some family for a week and when I came back I decided to check the drawer. To my dismay, I found 11 condoms in the drawer (a normal pack has 12). I was absolutely sure there was another girl in my house and my boyfriend cheated on me. So, I confronted him and called him.

He lied at first and said he didn't know what I was talking about. So I hung up on him. He called me back and told me he was really embarrassed but he used it to masturbate while I was gone. The dumb thing is that we have a "Sex drawer" with condoms already in it. But he still went out and bought a new pack.

I want to believe him, he has never given me a reason to distrust him. However, my past boyfriend experience tells me to get rid of him. It has been a few weeks since then, but I just can't let it go. I haven't talked to him about it since then.

What do you guys think?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I was actually in the same predicament once, and I actually made the effort to the store to by condoms to masturbate with. I hid them from my girl because we don't use condoms and it would have been silly for me to keep them in our "sex draw" besides I wanted her really knowing I was masturbating.

    I would find more evidence before you claim he was cheating. And remember" A Jealous person is troublesome to others, but torture to them selves. that small bug that plagues your heart will soon turn in to an uncontrollable 3 headed monster over time.

    • I completely agree. I wouldn't throw away something this great over a "maybe" situation. Thanks!

What Guys Said 12

  • Okay I'd hate to admit it but I've used condoms to masturbate. Why? Because the cleanup is easy (stays inside the condom) and it feels way better when a tight condom is covering your penis. But umm. Why would he get extras? Maybe because he didn't want you to think that the missing one's from the bedroom were used for other sex. I don't know. I will tell you though that it's normal to use condoms to masturbate. But in my opinion, he wouldn't be buying extra condoms and hiding them if he had nothing to hide. He would have just used the one's in the drawer and said, "chill out, I masturbated" and not gave a damn what you think because he knows he's loyal. That's just what I would do.

    • Yeah but he might be embarrassed about using a condom to masturbate.

  • I do not use a condom to masturbate, nor have I ever heard of anyone else using one. I would not jump to any thing yet though. He might be using it to cover for something. Like he went out with his friends, and one of them needed it. I carry one when I go out, just in case.

    • You must not wack it enough, I'm very eventful when it comes to self pleasure. A condom is great for working it, its a whole bunch of slippery happiness

      Course you never here of this because people just don't talk about it much

      Besides, when ever I used a condom for sex, I at least used 2 or 3 throughout the night

    • Yeah, I don't masturbate every day. Just never thought of using a condom.

  • Were the condoms a different type, or brand? I know that I enjoy masturbating with condoms, but when I do I get the XL size because of my size.

    It is possible he is telling the truth... but... condoms come in smaller packages than 12...

    Just keep your eyes open, if he's not faithful, you'll find out soon enough

  • I say your in a tough pickle until you can get some more evidence. It takes more than 1 clue to solve a murder. Install a hidden camera in your bedroom and go away for the weekend. Cameras don't lie, if he's cheating you'll have it on tape

    • I don't think I would want to violate his privacy with a camera. Maybe if I find more evidence ;)

    • Show All
    • If I found out my partner didn't trust me in the first place by looking through my stuff I wouldn't marry them which is worse than a secret camera anyway. If I had a partner who accused me of cheating with some condoms I wouldn't marry them. I wouldn't marry someone who is very materialistic about shiny metals and sparkly rocks either.

      whatever happened about all this anyway? did you dump him or what?

    • Well. Maybe she isn't all that interested in the ring, maybe she's excited about him proposing? Not all girls are materialistic bitches. We do have feelings. Maybe she was genuinely excited about the thought of marrying him?

  • I'm sorry to say this, but it does sound like he's cheating. No guy I know uses a condom to masturbate. What's the point in that? Doesn't even make sense! The reason you can't find any more evidence is that now he's on to you. He knows you're watching him, so he's covering his tracks! I would break up with him and move on. I don't think he's being truthful with you.

    • Hey guy, I think you got it wrong on this one....see suaveman and jackel's responses....it's not an uncommon experience. As well, if you look at the girls responses below, you'll see why the guy would have been embarrassed to tell his girl exactly why he used the condom. I think he came clean (lol, no pun intended) and there's probably no cheating going on.

    • Hey, If I'm wrong here, I stand corrected. For her sake, I hope he isn't cheating! I had just never heard of using a condom in this manner; now I know!

    • Hey guy, I'm not knocking you here. I've read many of your answers on other subjects and have agreed with you. Nice to see you get one wrong:)

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What Girls Said 8

  • Used the condom to masturbate? Pray tell, why would one do that? There is absolutely no reason to use a condom while masturbating. I can't believe that lie gets pulled out so often. It's blatantly false. Sorry hun, but your boyfriend did not use that condom to masturbate. Chances are real good he cheated.

    • I think that is why I can't shake the feeling that he did. The problem is I just can't find anymore evidence! Grrr!

    • *shrug* For me, that would be evidence enough. Best of luck getting this whole situation sorted.

  • Sigh. Yes, he's cheating on you. Using condoms to masturbate is honestly one of the oldest (and weakest) cover stories.

    I knew a guy who slept with a girl in his car and put the condoms in the glove box, where his girl found them the next day. He said he used them to masturbate while he was driving.

    Sorry, but it sounds like you know the truth, anyway.

    • If they were in his car, I definitely wouldn't buy it...i just don't feel like I should end the relationship unless I know for sure. He is a really great guy and he has always treated me wonderful. also the last guy that cheated on me was always gone and the emotional connection was flat GONE too. I think I need to wait it out, because if I am wrong I will never forgive myself for letting this one go.

  • From your updated comments, it sounds like you have decided to wait, and give this guy another chance. I hope this guy justifies your faith in him. But I would be very suspicious, because: (1) he lied to you when you first confronted him; (2) it is now beyond dispute that he bought a new pack of condoms, used one, and hid the rest in a secret drawer. Points (1) and (2) give you ample reason to distrust this guy. And his "masturbation" explanation is just a bit too convenient. At the very least, you will now need to watch this guy closely. But, really, who wants or needs a relationship like that? Without trust, what's really left?

  • I don't think you should freak out this much. There was only ONE condom missing, not 5 or 6. He may have used it to masturbate, who knows? Don't go basing your decision off one condom. You said he's a neat-freak, just wait it out like you said.

  • Yep he's cheating. I have NEVER heard of a guy masturbating with a condom? Wtf (no offense) but really. Dump him. Let him go. Move on. You are worth more then anything to have a guy f*** you over. Good luck with everything.

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