How do you make an ex regret leaving you?

[Anonymous]

Me and my Ex girlfriend broke up over a month ago after being together for 7 years, the problem is I still love her whereas she doesn't anymore (she told me herself) since then she's deleted me off facebook and all the photos of our time together, which really hurts, I've tried asking her to meet up and talk so we can at least be friends but she refused preferring to ignore me. I don't want her back but I want her to regret it since I'm having a terrible time whereas she's going out partying

[Anonymous]

OK, listen up, this is what you have to do.

GO NO CONTACT, walk away and never look back.

She'll eventually realise what she's missing and that you haven't been speaking to her...

She'll reach out, as long as their is some kind of attraction/curiosity. When she does you NEED to assume she wants to meet up.

Be like "Hey, I suppose you want us to meet up, how about you bring a bottle of red over to mine and we can cook dinner?".

If she says no tell her "Well if you change your mind, contact me in the next 2-3 weeks".

She'll likely contact you again... ask her out on the date at YOUR PLACE... if she says no again, then tell her the same thing.

DO THIS ONLY TWICE.

[bluesy33]

Truth is, you cannot make her regret anything. If she ever does have regrets, it will come about from within herself, probably after some craptastic relationship she got screwed over in. The only way you will really know if she ever has any regrets, is if she does try to reconnect with you, which will be a whole other GAG post on whether you should let her in again :) She's made it clear she does not want to be your friend, or have contact with you anymore, and you have to accept that if you want to be able to heal and be happy. It really doesn't matter if she does/does not have any regrets over your relationship ending, you just have to move on and be kind to yourself. Take care!

[crystalt70]

You can't if she doesn't have those feelings anymore. Once those feelings for someone are gone, nothing you do will make him/her regret it an want you back. And, being pushy about getting that person back is actually a turnoff and just pushes them further away. They will eventually despise you. I understand that you still love her, but you can't force her to love you. The best thing that you can do is take time for yourself to heal and move on with your life. It WILL get better and you will look back and wonder what you were thinking in trying to get her back and that you are so much better off without her.

[Asker]

Thanks for the advice, its just that those years were my best so far, and it hurts that she's pretending like it never happened

[crystalt70]

Then, do you really want someone like that back? Fool me once, shame on you, but fool me twice, shame on me. Learn this lesson the first time. Don't allow it to happen again. History does tend to repeat itself.

[JohnBhoy94]

"Once those feelings for someone are gone, nothing you do will make him/her regret it an want you back" -- Feelings don't just disappear like that, especially after 7 years.

[crystalt70]

@JohnBoy94 I never said they just disappeared. It probably took a while to get there and she finally now decided that it was time to end it. It took me a while to get over my ex. He kept trying to get me back after the crap he put me through. The only thing I feel for him is revulsion at this point. The feelings that I once had for him are completely gone and we were together from the age of 16 and have four kids.

[crystalt70]

Sorry. @JohnBhoy94

[crystalt70]

My point is, you can't make someone feel something that they don't feel.

[JohnBhoy94]

"It probably took a while to get there and she finally now decided that it was time to end it." -- everyone goes through that process before they break up... when they do, it doesn't mean it's over 100%.

If OP says "OK" and walks away, his ex is going to be thinking twice - I'm 2000% certain of that, it's a fact.

Because his ex is thinking he'll do exactly what your ex probably did, beg, plead and just be all round clingy and shit.

If he doesn't do any of that... his ex will undoubtedly think "Shit, did I make the right choice" ... it's working for me.

[crystalt70]

@JohnBhoy94 not necessarily true. She will only think twice if she actually cares. Her actions don't suggest that.

[crystalt70]

She specifically said to him that she doesn't love him.

[JohnBhoy94]

It doesn't matter what she said, or what she hasn't said. The whole point about walking away and meaning is is just so she realises "oh shit, what have I done".

[timmy111]

Great conversation.. At the end of the day, if her romantic interest level has been lowered too much, your gone for good.. Only way to play it is to disappear/self improvement and move on... if she still has high enough interest she will reach out when her curiosity gets the better of her... If you never hear from her again your already moved on to bigger and better... it's win/win

[crystalt70]

Very well said @timmy111 and I completely agree.

[Dani78]

This happened to me. I broke up with my ex after 8 years. I lost my love for him years before the break up. He constantly tried to make me regret it but I never did. He was mean to me. If she no longer loves you, don't bother trying to get her to regret it. Let it go.

[Oxxymoron]

Get a super hot bod, stop worrying about them and upgrade immensely