Why is my ex-boyfriend trying to hurt/annoy me?

[Anonymous]

My ex has recently broken up with me and we're trying to be friends like we used to be before dating. Thing is, he's constantly saying or doing stuff that is kinda douchey. He's always been a really nice guy, but now he's acting kinda mean. He does stuff like send censored pics asking "how are my abs looking". I've once replied with a censored pic of my ass asking "how's my booty looking?" and he ignored me. He sends pics of open condoms, talks about this girl he's fucking, things like that. It feels like he's intentionally trying to make me feel bad. Any idea why he's doing this? Thanks a lot!

[OlderAndWiser]

Who initiated the breakup is irrelevant. Both parties usually end up with hurt feelings. Sometimes, the initiator is hurt because the other person isn't devastated. Sometimes, the initiator has hurt feelings because of pre-breakup behavior that led to the decision to breakup. He is angry and he wants to punish you.

Why would you want to remain friends with this guy? Attempts at doing this are rarely successful; either one person wants to reunite or has too much anger at the other. Once you cross the line from friends to romantic partners, you can never go back! You can think that you are different from other people and you can make it work when all others have failed, but you will eventually realize that you aren't much different from others and that you can't make it work, either.

Tell him that it's over. That means no more phone calls, no texts, no pictures, no emails, no contact - not now, not two weeks from now, not three months from now.

Unless you do that. . . you should consider your wounds to be self-inflicted.

[crowstew]

It sounds like he was genuinely hurt by the break up.

Break ups are never easy, this might be a part of his mending process.
It sounds like he is trying to make you feel the way he feels.

It may be easier said than done. but I would try to ignore his foolish attempts to get under your skin.

send him a text back. "I'm sorry you're hurting. I really wish you nothing but the best. but these childish texts are kind of why we are no longer together. again I wish you the best."

kill him with kindness. he will quit sooner than if he sees he is getting a rise out of you.

[Asker]

That's actually a great idea! Thank you!

[S0ph5t3R]

He's not trying to make you feel bad, he just wants to make you jealous. That's very probable. I don't know why some boys do that, my ex-best friend-turned- boyfriend is doing the same thing. He broke up with me, but he's literally craving for my attention and thinks that he's entitled to me. He texts me, but never answer when I answer. When I don't he goes on sayin' "why do I feel like you hate me?" or "are we good or what?". He's also very possessive and doesn't stand to see me or know that I'm with other guys. I think he broke up with me because he wanted 'freedom'... but ass! He still asks me to hang out and I perfectly know what 'want to hang out?' means. So I just ignore him. The reason that he sends you 'censored pics' is that he wants you to tell him he looks good, even though he dumped you. But hey, it's not your problem. Kick that nigga to the curb, live your life and be happy =) And if he still bugs you, you can delete or block him from social network.

[Hannah591]

My ex did this too. He was a lovely guy before, then he left me, told me to move on, but then would be really mean, tell me about the girls he'd kissed and slept with, telling me how awesome his life was etc. Surely the dumpee is meant to be doing all that? He eventually stopped and apologised. It was some weird mad phase.

I can only assume it's because he's not dealing with the break up very well, he's kind of regretting it or maybe he feels it's not bothering you as much as he thought. Or maybe he just wants to be mean. It could be anything, guys are weird.

[cherrytree104]

It's obvious you two can't be friends lol. He wants you to be jealous about him moving on. He probably thinks you don't really care or whatever reason, either way its immature and that's not what you need in your life. Friends don't make intentions to hurt friends! And please don't send him any more pics lol you gave him a taste of his own medicine and he didn't like it that's why you got no response lolll... But that just promotes a petty war so save yourself the trouble!!! Find a new better friend and let him go!

[YanoaYanza]

Yeah he's trying to hurt you. It's like he's trying to tell you he doesn't need you and that he can find other women, hence the used condoms...

But in my eyes it's just him feeling bad and just want you to feel bad too, so you can both suffer together from the breakup...
There is no real logic behind talking about other girls he had sex with with someone you broke up with, what logical person would do that?

He's being immature just ignore him, block him or something... not worth the time...

[Phantom-menace1234]

Just don't engage with him, don't let his behavior upset you or hurt you, because if you show its hurting you, he will keep doing it. If you want to keep the friendship, just keep your distance for now.

Or you could say to him, look think its best we keep our distance, until your behavior towards me changes. I do not wish be treated like this, If continue like this, then I think its to go our separate ways. . You have to stand up for yourself, otherwise he will walk all over you. Sometimes, if people are just willing to play fair with you, then I am afraid, the only option is to cut them out of your life.

[Deezyy]

he sounds messy if you had that kind of open dialogue when you were together that's one thing but you two broke up so he needs to respect your boundaries as a person, he seems a bit immature. sometimes guys act this way when they are in their feelings they will try and hurt us cause we're nice but don't let him get too carried away if it goes further tell him to stop. I think it's bothering you since you used the term "douchey" . good luck to you :)
p. s. I think you deserve better!

[BlueEyedHipsta]

He's doing it to get a reaction. He didn't reply to your picture of your ass because he was shamed. Fight back, he talks about a girl he's banging reply with something similar, send him photos of cute guys off the internet and ask for his opinion. It's quite hilarious when you use their own tactics against them

[Maria_i]

That's what you call a complete and utter douchebag. I know it's hard, but seriously, forget about him. He's trying to make you jealous. You need to show him you're not interested anymore. Don't go trying to make him jealous, he'll most likely laugh it off and tbh, he probably won't give a shit. The best solution is to cut off making contact with him. Pretend he doesn't exist. If he continues messaging you, just ignore it. If he still messages you after you've been ignoring him for a while, send him a big ass "fuck you" text. that may get to him a little, or he may not care. But after that he should stop messaging. You're better than him girl, he's only a cub and you need to go search for your lion!!

[krissgib]

Was the break up mutual? Or did you break up with him? Or did he break up with you?
If you broke up with him then that's why! He is saying look at what got away type thing.
If mutual then he's just being a jerk.
If he broke up with you then it's cause he trying to make you jealous.

[TimesNewRoman]

Because friendship after a relationship is almost impossible... I understand that it happens and some people can be friends after a break up... but this does not sound like one of those situations... Go find yourself a good guy that makes your ex look like the douche he is..

[JustinCaseUDontKnow]

He still loves you so he wants make you jealous cause he still cares
but he wants to hurt you while doing it so you need to decide what
you want do with this guy.

[RationalLioness]

I think he is which is really immature due to the fact that he dumped you. I would cease contact with him and go about your way or simply ignore his texts when he's being stupid if you want to be friends.

I would be more forward then you seem to be and ask him why he's telling you things that you don't care to know or notice. Would he like me to do the same (as you did about your butt)?

[mrsmahone]

Sounds like he's trying to be your friend again, by treating you like one of the guys. It doesn't sound intentional he just isn't sure how to treat you anymore so he just is treating you like a dude. Just explain to him how you feel and Im sure hell understand, and if not then you don't need him as a friend anyway :) GOOD LUCK

[Lifeisnihilistic]

Well, normally you shouldn't try to be friends again, it is almost impossible. And now that he's treating you that way I don't think you should keep talking to him. I think he's just an asshole and he feels resentful or something like that. I was dating this girl and we didn't make it and then I started acting kind of mean too, I think because I didn't feel the same way as before and I didn't care. Then we agreed on stop talking each other. I think you should do that.

[AleksanderSlovenija]

your ex boyfrriend is looking for some sort of revenge for you breaking up. he is behaving like a jerk tho

please answer my question: www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1478569-bad-self-esteem-rate-me-guess-ethnicity

[Miphee]

He is at the emotional and intellectual level of a 12 years old, don't try to find rationality in his behavior. Block him and you are done.

[jesuswillnay]

he wants you, and trying to make you jealous girl... my advice.. ask him what he really wants from you relationship etc and stop playing games. he's seems like he trying to hurt you, and from prior knowledge.. hurt people hurt people. But seriously have a one on one talk with him, ask him what his deal is, and if he doesn't stop the games, you will walk out of his life forever... and if he does not respect you to treat you right... bump him then pray/love him from a distance.

[xobrowneyedbeauty]

Because he's a douchebag. Stop trying to be friends with your ex it's a terrible idea. I tried for like a week and gave up.

[Anonymous]

His tryna make u jealous and show u his wanted. My ex did the exact same thing. He wanted me only on his terms and if not he doesn't want no one else getting u.

Think about and have some space, ignore him or tell him ur busy even if u ain't. It may be that u will learn the real reason or u may find ur life is better without him.

I did this 4 years with my ex we'd break up and then be friends to end up being friends with benefits , however he went though my phone saw other guys where interested get jealous and mad then ghost. I had enough this year and so far locked him off I haven't looked back since! Trust me it's not worth him trying to belittle any confidence and self respect u have for ur self stay strong hunny x

[Anonymous]

Simle answer: He's an arse. Just tell him never to contact you again or block him and go on with your life.

And no, people don't do stupid hurtful things when they love someone so don't listen to the people who commented that he does it because he's "in love with you". Some people are just immature and retarded.

[unicornsandglitter]

He's just trying to make you jealous so you want him back. A guy who disrespects you this much isn't worth it

[HereForTheDay]

Why on Earth do you want him as a friend. It sounds like you need a little of time completely away from this guy. He is very immature.

[Coffinspire]

Sounds like he isn't satisfied with your reaction to the break-up. Did you cry for him to come back or that you miss him? Sounds like you didn't so he's trying to make himself feel better. Also, guys are just dicks like that.