Pregnant cheating girlfriend....what to do?

[Anonymous]

Me and my girlfriend been together for about 6 months now, we been talking for a year. She told while we was talking that she cheated once on her ex because of neglect, so when we got together I made sure I gave her my all and let her know how beautiful she is everyday. 5 months ago she told me she was pregnant...I was thinking I couldn't have pick the most perfect person to mother my child...3 weeks later she told me she cheated on with her old childhood crush and later that week a friend. Now 5 months later I'm finding it very hard to trust her. I love her to death but I told her I been in multiple cheating relationships and couldn't handle another one. Should I find a way to stay for my child?

[PHILR]

my point would be that re you even sure it is yours at all... remember she did say she cheated on you at least twice that you know of... and the likely hood their ay have been others as well she's not told you about... now here's the thing stay with her until the baby is born then request a DNA test to make sure... from there depending if its yours or not shoul determine your course of action... my opinion is if not yours bale as quickly as possibly and do not sign any paper work (birth certify) before the results of the DNA test... and please don't fall for the line she most likely will say that being "don't you trust me that its yours" duhhh no she cheated as said at least twice on you while in a relationship with you... and by what you said you tried to make every effort to be a good boyfriend... what happens if you stay with her and you eventually get married (to me that's be a very toxic relationship that started out n your dating period) what happens you find out she cheated again and files for divorce... you stayed with her (being pregnant then giving birth ) your now considered legally as the babys father and liable for any child support for the next 24 years of that childs life weither yours or not... plus any other financial stuff alimony /medical care insurance for her and the child (or children)
a better way of thinking is you may have loved her but she's not shown the same love back nor respect for you even though you wwere trying to be better than her ex had been (that is according to her all you had was what she told you unless you knew this guy personally of his actions towards her) so the old adage once a cheater always a cheater comes to mind... she did it to her exbf she's done it to you and in my opinion will continue if you leave her and she gets involved with someone else... my question is is this how you want to live and who you'd want to be with on a LTR...
now here's my take on her actions thus far she's shown no true remorse or repentance for her actions hasn't taken full responsibility for her actions for her cheating maybe to some degree is trying to say its your fault that she did in some way or is blowing it off as oh i'm bad its not that big of a deal attitude...
so what do you think now as far as staying with this cheater... also if I were you i'd start by finding out hw much that DNA test by a compentent company would cost you then start saving your money for that test... you've only have about 2 years after birth to file

[sirlixalot]

Would you want your child to grow up and let people treat him/her the way this woman is treating you? I hate to sound harsh, but dude...grow some balls, put your kids first by leaving her.fight for custody of your kids and then work to maintain a decent relationship with her as the mother of your kids. Besides, what if your kid is 6, 7, 8 years old and you're at work and she's bringing other men around your kids because obviously she's going to continue to cheat on you because you "love her" and forgive her because she's your "baby's moma". I feel like you have no self respect or dignity...and you'll definitely pass these traits on to your kids if you don't stand up for what's right. I'll be honest with you bro, but all these people commenting on here saying "are you sure it's YOUR kid"...they're wrong for bringing that up. If you've been involved in that kid's life, and he/she views you as a father figure, and you truly love the kid as if it's yours biologically or not, then don't walk out of the kid's life. Even if you leave your girl, you can still attempt to remain a part of the kid's life...that's just part of being a decent man, father, and human being...regardless, the situation is not the kid's fault, it's the mother's. As for the unborn, I would suggest a paternity test after it's born. Just don't get caught up in the "Maury" drama and get caught saying "that kid ain't mine" before it's even born. If it's yours, you know you'll take care of it, whether you're with it's mom or not. So my advice...drop the chic...keep the kids. And by the way...I'm a single father of two boys (ages 3 & 13), both of whom I've had custody of since they were born...YOU CAN DO IT.

[Anonymous]

First of all, I can recognize that you are a good guy, one who doesn't have fear to take responsibilities and that whatever happens you are going to give her your support, as a friend, as a boyfriend, as a husband, as a real man.

But also you have to use your brains, how old are both of you?, do both of you work or at least does one of you have a job that is stable?, do both of you study?, what does she really want?, what do you really want(maybe you know it better than anyone in this world)?, does the new little life has your DNA and hers? In the last question, nowadays you have many options to prove it before the pregnancy ends.

Did you ask her if she wants to have the baby?, if she said yes, then you have to tell her that then she has to know that she has to stop thinking about only herself and put as first priority the needs of the newborn life. Ask her if she feels prepare to take on the responsibility even alone.

Remind her, without been impolite and aggressive, that you have responded to her and you haven't cheated on her since you met, so she has to do the same if she really loves you and if she wants to form with you a family. You did good to tell her that you love her and that you had many bad experiences in relationships by cheating, remind her that again.

Whatever is the result of the relationship, the baby's sake differs from it. If the baby has the DNA of both of you, then support him/her and love him/her, try to be a good father. If the baby results to be not yours, then you have to totally distant yourself from both of them, your girlfriend and the baby (unless you want to be his/her father). Your aim will be stay for your child, and only for your child, your girlfriend can support herself because she is physically and mentally stable, isn't she(no mean offense, but she isn't handicapped, and/or doesn't have any terminal nor mental disease, does she?)?

[Anonymous]

thats a tough one, I think if you stay in a relationship that will probably not last or will probably be unhappy is not setting a good role for your kid.. it could effect the child more, coming from a one parent childhood, I think my parents were better apart then together and I still love them both and have a good relationship with both, as long as your there for the kid with LOTS of love it's the quality and not the quantity that counts.. but I don't really know what to say about your cheating Girlfriend if you should stay or not I guess your the only one that can really make that decision she could either not do it again or continue if she's already done it multiple times before, if it's now or in a few years.

[Mcstarr]

how do you know that the baby that she is carying is yours if she has cheated on you. And if you don't trust her theirs no point in staying with her because of the baby. If you stay with her because of the baby you will be hurting your self and the baby when he or she is born. And you have to have a paternity test soon because if he has you thinking that the baby she's expecting is yours you might be the type of guy who will stay with the girl so she won't have to be the only one having to take care of the baby. And if she's not compleatly sure how far she is she should go to her gynocologist so they can tell her exsactly how far along she is

[Loso39]

I came upon this article I and I hope everything went well for you as I'm going through the same thing. It freaking hurts and it sucks that you can trust someone and they cheat. Mines didn't tell me at all I found out through pictures I found on her tablet and she denied it till I got in contact wit the other man from another country to confirm she was even buying him gifts. My ex is 44 and I'm 26. I asked for a prenatal paternity test since she over 35 she did an amniocentesis and has the babies blood but she refuses to do it because she's shocked I would even ask for one. Mines even lied about the health of the baby saying I was causing her to bleed and making the baby lies heart rate drop due to stress until I went to the appointment and the doctor had no clue what I was talking about. Turns out she has numerous fibroids and a cyst which cause the bleeding. Now she says she won't let me see the baby when it's born unless we go to therapy to learn how to be good coparents. This woman is a sociopath and I've accepted I might be a dad but not like this. Any advice anyone. Sorry to intrude on the post but I'm tired of asking people who can't understand the situation so they don't give me advice. All they say is that sucks and sorry it's happening to me

[haney23]

Your child? Better be sure of that before you wind up on The Maury Povich Show or Jerry Springer. Seriously dude! A prenatal paternity test costs around $1000 so that is probably out of the question but as soon as that kid is born I can't say this strongly enough... PATERNITY TEST ! She cheated twice in a week? My ass there hasn't been more, maybe a lot more. It's time to think about yourself here and the 18 years of child support you'll be paying to someone that seems to be playing you like a fine tuned piano.

[BigBlueEyes]

mate, please please please get out.

you have only one life, don't waste it on a person who can do this to you.

stay in touch, to see if the child is yours. But if not having nothig more to do with her. I feel your pain bro and I know this is super hard right now. But you need to know if the child is yours. And if it is and she REALLY puts the work in to make you two have a shot, then consider forgiving because of the bigger picture. But don't just stay and hope and cross your fingers. Best of luck mate

[Professor_Zoom]

My friend, you need to take a paternity test. Right now, don't even think if you should stay for the child. Find out if it is even yours first because once you sign the birth certificate you're done. Your girlfriend can't be trusted, so dump her. I don't care that she's pregnant and I know that you love her, but she is not honest. When the baby is born, get the test done. If it turns out to be yours, I still wouldn't stay with her. If she's going to cheat like that it is only going to cause problems and the child doesn't need to see all of that. Just make sure you are part of his/hers life. You don't have to be with her to do that unless she decides to make thing difficult. Now, if it's not yours, breath a sigh of fresh air because you don't have to spend the next 25 years of your life dealing with this woman.

[Anonymous]

Man this bitch is a ho! If she is doing all of that how do you know that's your child anyway? You've only been together for 6 months and she told you she was pregnant 5 months ago and 3 weeks after that she admitted to cheating with 2 guys...um...again, don't be so quick to say that's your child. Get a paternity test.

You can still be there for your child, if it is in fact yours, even if you are not still with the mother. If she constantly cheats you will never be able to trust her. You sound like a good decent man, move on and find someone who deserves you because she is not worthy of you!

[Anonymous]

Umm, there's a very good chance it's not your child. If she's that fickle and willing to cheat, you're not in for a good relationship. You're always going to doubt and disbelieve her and if she can commit, she'll hate you for it. Talk things out and create a realistic approach to a relationship, or end it all. If she cheats again, that has to be the end. It should have been the end in the beginning, but you didn't make things clear. Right now, you make things clear that she can't f*** around at any point or you're gone. You'll take responsibility for the child, despite the possibility of it not being yours, but she's going to make it work or you're gone with a paternity suit and child support/shared custody.

[tiramisu]

If the baby IS yours, you are obligated, ethically that is the right thing to do. You do not want the guilt of knowing that you brought a child into this world and didn't do anything to help it grow.

However, this 'girl' of yours has to go. Your relationship with her has to end, entirely. She is ruining your life by betraying your trust and getting you caught up in her life problems. I understand you love her, but she obviously doesn't love you. Life is hard I know...be strong man.

Be there for the child. Not for her.

[madmisskelly]

I would separate from her but remain in contact. When she has the baby do a paternity test. If you are the father, I reccommend staying in touch with her for the child's sake. Remain cordial but try not to be romantically involved with her. Pay child support, be there for the child.

However if you are not the father you need to stay away from her. Your relationship will only end in heartbreak

[WeaponZero]

Do a paternity test. If you're not the father, just cut off all contact. You have no responsibilities to the cheating whore and her spawn.

If, however, you ARE the father, you need to evaluate whether or not your financial situation will allow you to support the child. I would not trust a woman like her to keep to her motherly responsibilities. I would, if you have the means, take custody of the child from her and ensure that she gets visitation rights.

[Reeses-pieces777]

than just don't be with her for obligation but if you can't stand her, why keep something that will break anyway? I would tell my guy at the beginning, "if you cheat on me, even once, it's over" because I'm the non-cheating type. this girl needs to control herself. just because she might think you are obligated to be with her because of this child, obviously doens't mean it's oging to work out.

[enlightenment]

NO...its better for your child not to be put into a family that is "trying"...do what's right for you and in turn it wil be right for your child.

[tzdc21]

Dude, that may not even be your child. Get tested right away. If that isn't yours, get the hell away from her. If it is yours then you're gonna have to find a way to deal with her, without being close to her for the child's sake.

[chibi]

yes you should stay with her for ur baby you hould leave to take care fo it by herself you should tell her how you really feel about her cheating on u

[myspacemybroke]

If it's even your kid... But yeah you should. You chose to take it to that level, it's most likely yours so it's your responsibility.

[graciesue94]

Wow, this is tough. Are you sure her child is yours? I think. if it is, you should ask if you can get out of the relationship and still see your child.

[jck54]

welll... are you sure its ours.