Super Obsessive Ex-girlfriend (stalker?)

[Jlitsays]

Okay so I dated this girl for 10 months. Basically all of freshman year even through the summer days after my freshman year of college. She lives in Vermont btw. ANYWAY

We get back to school and she's p*ssed because one time I hung out with 3 girls that not only I am friends with, but she has class with and hangs out with. She's p*ssed at me because it's a "sketchy situation" although since I am a resident assistant and so are they, we are required to make name tags for the people in our building. (we figured we'd do it together). Everyone I ask says it's not sketchy it'd be worse if it were just one girl.

So! we try and work things out and end up yelling at each other and breaking up. (mind you there were other reasons for my breaking up with her) But the next week she's back and begging for me back but I can never feel the same way about her.

So after about two weeks I start dating my now current girlfriend and things are going well. But this ex girlfriend has now made friends with my roommates girlfriend (who is a year younger and has nothing in common with her) just to try and get close to me again... I've told her many times that its over and I can never feel the same way about her after what we've been through. Then she starts talking sh*t that she's prettier than my current girlfriend (where as nobody agrees not even my mom... who is a saint)

My current girlfriend and I are VIP's at a small club in Cambridge and go often and this ex went to try and make me jealous by dancing on stage... how are you going to make me jealous when not only am I a VIP at the club, but my girlfriend is too and I only go with her?

What is this girl's deal!? Why won't she leave me alone? is it time to get a no contact restraining order?!

(her parents were high school sweethearts and were engaged... broke up and dated other people for 2 years, then got back together and got married.. so I think her perception of things are a little hopeless romantic.)

[smellylittlecat]

My ex bf's ex girlfriend was like this. She won eventually but they never came back together. She was obsessive and mean to me as well (what she is trying to say about your new girlfriend and trying to get closer to you). You may have to do the restraining order if she does anything to interfere with your life and relationship with your current girl. She will try to get under both your skin til you break up with your new gf... Unfortunately this happened to me and my ex boyfriend because I could not stand her anymore and I'm not much of a fighter and my ex boyfriend was a dumbass and still talked to her as friends even though she was mean to me and did a lot of crazy things to me via the internet.

Make sure she doesn't interfere with your relationship is all I'm saying. Ex gf's or bf's who do this are pitiful and need to stop making people feel bad for them now that they don't have you and want to make your life a living hell. Don't give her attention. Make sure your own girlfriend doesn't either . You need to treat her like she doesn't exist or else you will give her the intention that she can get you back.

[butterfly_girl]

I've had an ex-boyfriend who was a bit like that, we broke up and he didn't take no for an answer and for me the best thing to do (although at times it got so frustrating and hard) was to ignore him. I moved on and kept ignoring him, after a while I think he finally got the message that it was over.

So my advice is ignore her, if you truly have no intentions of going back to her then ignore her, it might be hard but just pretend that nothing she does even matters a tiny little bit to you,soon enough she'll either get bored or realise that you've moved on and you meant it when you said it was over.

Good luck!

xoxox

[Jlitsays]

Okay I've been dating this new girlfriend for 4 months and haven't spoken to my ex since, but she insists on still being places where I am, (parties that I'm throwing etc.) I always turn her away at the door and never let her in. hopefully ignoring her works but when is it time to take legal action?

[butterfly_girl]

I know it must be hard and obviously you have to put limits to things but do you really wanna get a restriction order against her? I think if it gets to a stage where she's being nasty (like threats etc) then you should take legal action but for now why don't you say to her "look I don't want anything more to do with you and if this carrys on then I'll have no option but to file for a restriction order against you", maybe hearing that alone will scare her off, if that makes any sense at all?

xoxo

[budphillips]

Legal action? For what? Living in the same town as you? Going to the same public place as you? Leaving when you ask her to from a place that you have authority over? My God, I hope you aren't pre-law, this chick hasn't done a thing to suggest you need a restraining order. Do you even know what one of those is?

[budphillips]

She hasn't done a single thing to warrant a restraining order. So that's kind of a laughable and fatalistic solution.

This is what you get for dating a chick that is completely psychotic. Learn from it and try to get to know girls a little better before you start dating them.

Some people are psycho. Try not to be intimate with them. It only makes your life worse.

Good luck!

[Jlitsays]

Constantly showing up to my room when told not to come back, contacting me when I have told her not to, making a scene when she can't get into my parties, that's all labelled under harrassment in the United States. Thanks for being a d*** though, I'm sure everyone you've ever dated is exactly as you perceived them from the very beginning.

[budphillips]

You didn't mention any of that in your post, so I'm not sure how I was supposed to know any of it. You mentioned "dancing on a stage at a club" as a reason for why you wanted to get a restraining order, which is hilarious enough as it is, but you were self-centered enough to assume it was meant only to attack you. On top of that, I will gladly state that I have never dated a totally insane chick and have never had to deal with something like this. Perfect? No, but stay away from the crazies.

[Jlitsays]

She didn't go crazy until after I broke up with her, was never super clingy or anything, and she told people it was to try and make me jealous of her.