I want to stay in touch with a friend but her best friend is someone I had feelings for and things are still complicated. ?

This one friend is part of a tight nit social group that worked together for years until our work went out of business earlier this month. This whole social group is one I want to keep but a couple of them are still very close with a girl that use to work with us. I had feelings for her and made the mistake of revealing them through a written letter. Shit hit the fan so we parted on bad terms and I haven't spoken to her in two years. But after some time had passed I would run into some of her family and work with her siblings and notice that they were significantly kinder than before. Then 6 months ago the girl I had feelings for started being extremely friendly whenever we ran into each other. I always ignored her because I didn't want to open that can of worms. A month before we went out of business she came back to work for our last month open and I avoided her at all costs. She awkwardly tried to start small talk and would give me looks but never actually approached me. During the closing party, which I spent ignoring her, the only thing she managed to say to me was "goodbye" and "see you later" just before she left.

I wish she had just asked to talk because I was (and still am unfortunately) curious about what she wanted. I ignored her because those two years ago the last thing she asked of me was to leave her alone. Now the only person that knows much about this situation is our mutual friend. They are best friends but she is also someone I consider an actual friend, instead of just a coworker, that I don't want to lose, even though I'd have to at least hear about the girl I had feelings for frequently.

I feel like I'm still paying for that one mistake of the letter I wrote. I'm not sure what to do, but it is bothering me. ?


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