Long story short
My ex girlfriend & dated for 8 months. I was truly in love. I did everything for her. She got a new job. She made moves on her boss. She started being an asshole to me. I suspected something was up. Asked her. She denied everything that she doesn't like him blah blah... i found texts/emails/facebook messages from him. Sexual innuendos & goofy flirty shit. I got pissed off. Talked to her she called me insecure & that I'm being ridiculous. Things got much worse. She didn't have time for me. Always busy. Stays late hours at work. Tells me her boss is a great guy, handsome etc... AND I HAVE NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT. That I'm being ridiculous! After that... i saw many signs of cheating but i didn't want to accuse her if i had no proof. She would ALWAYS tell me JUST STOP, YOU JUST HAVE TO TRUST ME! OKAY? YOU'RE SOO ANNOYING blah blah. Treated me like shit. Made me feel horrible and super insecure with her boss. Then one day i gave up... we had a verbal fight. I walked out. I told her we arw done I'm sick of the games and bullshit. Met up a week later to talk. She told me she's 21 & doesn't want any sort of relationship with anyone right now. (I'm 25). 3 days after the meet up, her Facebook says she is IN A RELATIONSHIP with her FU*KING BOSS!!! THE SAME GUY SHE TOLD ME I HAD NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT!!!
It's been a couple months now. I'm still in love with that slut but i know i can't ever trust her anymore. I've been okay I guess i bought a new motorcycle and some cool stuff to keep my mind straight. Been on a couple of dates. Had sex with 2 different girls but nothing came of it... i just wasn't feeling it. Sex isn't the same. Mentally i feel like i can't trust the next girl because of all my ex's damn convincing LIES! HOW DO HELP MYSELF?
PS: I'm not hurting anymore but i need to figure out why the FLIP DO I STILL LOVE HER even though i wish i didn't. I can't trust her words.
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i understand why you feel like you can't trust people. i've been there. i had two consecutive relationships where i was cheated on and after them i didn't date for 2 years.
there are two things to keep in mind
1. not all women are the same. so you have to be open to the fact that while you dated a lying deceitful woman not all are like that
2. the experience can help open your eyes to the world. to be a better observer human behavior. i know it helped me recognize things in people that are red flags so i wouldn't get hurt
take time and get over the relationship. it probably means not dating. and eventually come back to dating giving people a clean slate but have an eye open to stuff that may lead to betrayals like you experienced with your ex1