Should I give my girlfriend of three years a promise ring even after she said she needs to find herself?

We dated for three years and when I started mentioning moving forward she said she is not ready for that and just a coupe weeks ago said she doesn't what to be In a relationship with me or anyone else for that matter until she can find herself and what she truly wants. Thing is it truly was the best three years of my life and every moment I'm away from her she's the only woman I think about. While I've told her, after trying not to loose the relationship, that I love her which in turn I respect her wishes and only what her happy. I have also told her that I have also told her she is my one true love the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with and will support her as she finds herself while trying not to overstep where she sees our relationship. She has made some new friends and hangs out with them and seems herself with them and people on social media but still kinda awkward around me. We still talk several times daily and she's even come over to my place at least once a week to hang out even after stating she doesn't wanna be in a relationship with anyone. Today she came over we were discussing us and things in general and she all the sudden says I'm gonna regret this and basically jumps on me and starts kissing me which lead to us making love. My question I guess is what do y'all think about my giving her a promise ring and upon giving it to her reiterate that she is the woman I wanna spend my life with and I'm still here for her? Or am I just being naive and gullible and being used because she knows how I feel and is just still trying to get outta me what she can because I've always treated her great and spoiled her.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I wouldn't make moves like that till she actually confesses to wanting to officially be with you again. I'm sure she knows you want and like her so it's on her to win you over as she ended the relationship...

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    • As I commented to Teddius... Thanks Rabbit. I didn't look at or consider that.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Absolute not. Why, you may ask? Giving her promise ring, in itself, is a symbolic gesture of commitment to her and therefor a gesture that you will wait for her for indefinite amount of time, even as she is currently not committed to you.

    Does that truly give her sense of independence? How does that aid in her finding herself? To answer both questions: It doesn't.

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    • Never even considered or looked at it that way. Thanks Teddius. But makes absolute sense

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What Girls Said 2

  • I definitely wouldn't

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  • I really don't think you should. It'll probably make her feel guilty and that in turn would make her resent you.

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What Guys Said 7

  • It does not sound like she wants to acknowledge that level of commitment, so a promise ring would probably freak her out and trigger a break up. Considering that she is likely in her 30's (based on your age), she's quite late at trying to figure out her shit in life.

    I once briefly chased after a girl who was similarly "lost" in life. It didn't work out and we stayed friends for many many years. During that time, I saw that she had some underlying demons regarding trust and relationships. She basically rejected the notion of ever getting married, and when a guy became too close to her and started to talk about marriage - she would break up with him after a 2-4 year relationship. And the cycle would start again with a new guy... date for years... he wants to get married... she freaks and breaks up... find another guy.

    If your living arrangement isn't broken, consider that you may never move to the "next level"... whatever you consider that to be. That may simply mean living out your days as you are now, never getting married and never having kids.

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  • Time to be cool dude. Let her chase you if its going to happen. Neediness is just going to make her run.

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  • Welp... goodbye relationship. Sure why the heck not, give it a go. Just shut up if you are being over bearing

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  • If she wants to be with you forever and deserves a ring of any kind.. not being sure is never a good sign. Doubt should never cross ones mind if they are truly in love.

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  • Nope bad idea dude.

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  • I think that's the worst thing you could do.

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  • i find them to be worthless.

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