Girlfriend of three years said she doesn't want a relationship with me or anyone yet still texts several times daily?

Ok so another question with this whole situation. After a three year relationship and asking her to move forward in our relationship she has said she doesn't want a relationship with me or anyone. Said she needs to find herself and then and only then can she think about being in a relationship. Yet she still messages several times a day and still keeps saying she can't be in a relationship until she can find herself and get her issues and insecurities handled. She even came over the other day and while talking she jumped on me started kissing me which led to of course making love. I'm so torn and want to spend my life with her but trying to give her her space to find herself and only be here for her. Thing is I'm thinking after my other posts and comments that I need to tell her look... The only relationship I want with you is a loving lifetime relationship not a friendship so please only contact me if you find yourself and want that with me as well. But yet still wanna be there if she needs me. Is that possible or should I just tell her that until she finds herself and knows what she wants to not contact me or what. Just can't come up with the way to say it without sounding mean or making her think that I don't want to be with her. Cause I do but not as friends my love for her is to strong.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Tell her that. And after, it is possible to be there for her when she needs you, especially if you establish boundaries that deter her from reaching out to you in an otherwise manner.

    Put simply, she is to contact you only when she is ready to consider a relationship with you, or when she's in a situation that specifically requires your assistance.

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    • Thanks again Teddius. Just wanted some input or thoughts and didn't know if I should just say that exactly or what. Don't wanna come off as mean or crude but will simply tell her that. Much appreciated again!

    • You are welcome.

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