I'm worried I've been replaced by the girl I was dating already. Am I being paranoid?

So I was dating this girl for three months and everything was good I've known her for three years as we were friends before but only hooked up recently. However she would blow hot and cold with me a lot because she says she has a committment phobia and the fact that I'm going away travelling for a year in a few months doesn't help the situation either. Her ex boyfriend cheated on her after 2 years together so now she has a fear of getting into anything intense and she says she doesn't want to be tied down or get too attached which is understandable. Two weeks before Christmas I acted clingy one weekend and expected her to fit her plans around me, I was out of line on reflection however it was too late and the next day she told me she thought we should stop seeing each other. She said maybe one day we'll be in a relationship but the timing isn't right because she wants to be single and free and there's no future in it because I am going travelling. I took this badly as we had plans to spend New Years together and it ended on such a sour note due to one weekend where I acted like a douche. Anyways a week later I noticed she had liked a guys profile picture selfie on facebook. She met this guy a month before we started seeing each other at her best friends birthday bash. I then noticed that he was appearing at the top of her friends list on facebook meaning they have been in contact recently. This guy also happens to be her bestfriends boyfriends best friend (confusing) and I know for a fact when she first met him all four of them went out for dinner together almost like a double date. This guy lives about 3-4 hours away from where we live but I still feel like this wouldn't stop him visiting her every other weekend. I now feel like she is texting him everyday like she used to text me and I fear they are now dating. Am I being paranoid and reading into this too much and what do you think is going through her mind as we have barely spoken in nearly two months. Thanks.


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What Girls Said 1

  • She wants to be with someone else. You deserve better! You need to let her go and find someone else who doesn't use excuses.


What Guys Said 2

  • Sounds like you have a phobia of your own lol. If you want the brutal truth, yes it sounds like they are dating or talking at the very least. She also sounds like she's not that interested in you anymore. But she sounds like someone that is fickle and very boring too.

    My advice: its clear and obvious that you're distort about this, even heartbroken. And no answer, no matter how perfect, someone gives you, will make this feel better. What you should do, instead of stalking her and making assumptions, is call her and apologize for acting like a dick to her. And ask her if you can take her out to lunch, your treat, because you would like to hangout with her. But if she declines and says no, then ask her, "i just wanna know are you talking to another guy," and if ignores the question or comes with a "its my bness or how dare you," that pretty much means yes, but i dont wanna tell you.

    What you need to do is accept it. Don't talk about it. And remember how awesome of a guy that you are. You don't need someone else, to give you meaning to your own life.

    • Thanks for your advice, when you say I have a phobia of my own in what respect?

    • You seem to have an anxiety of being alone. So what she can't git her plans around you? So what if she wants to see someone else? If she honestly cared about you, instead of being cold and saying, "lets see other people," she would have been more understanding. I'm sure she is pretty and has some positive things about her... but overall... she sounds like a dick.

  • you were not out of line and girls are always dating multiple guys at the same time.