My husband is cheating, how to confort him?

I have said before that my husband tend to add other lots of girls on social media (snapchat, Instagram etc..) and I caught him once talking through whatsapp with a girl which he claim he worked with her and he even send her his pics and his excuse is that I shouldn't have looked through his phone and made a big deal out of it and made me look like I'm the one to blame when my parents came to solve between us! My parents told me to stop looking though his stuff or I will not be able to live my life happy

ok this happened maybe like 6 months ago
but now I still can't trust him
every once and I while I like to check if everything is alright
I know he has girls on snapchat and that he send him videos and talk to them but nothing more
today I discovered that he talk to one of them through the phone and even named her close to my name
I'm in total shock and I don't know what to do
i really want to go and tell him that I know but he will turn this thing against me
because I opened his phone and looked through his stuff
should I Ask my parents what to do?
or should I hint to him something?
Please help me !
we've been married for one year and a half or maybe a little more

Updates:
In our country and culture we don't have "friendship" between men and women
Especially if they're married
And to be clear, I saw him doing a collage of her pics
Now I was trying to talk to him about his what he did in the past and how I will not give him another chance because there's no reason for looking into other girls or talking to him. I said that without showing that I know he is talking to someone else

He replied that I'm always suspicious and that he would not justify his acts anymore

Because he thinks I'm stupid and don't know anything 😔

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I see it as this:
    While he may be able to try and twist excuses like "going through his phone" and such, as a married couple you should have full disclosure on things like this. Trust is incredibly important in a relationship.
    However, looking through a phone without context can also cause issues. For instance, him talking to a girl does not necessarily mean he is doing anything outside the bounds of appropriate relationship etiquette. Him talking to girls is not bad. Him doing something more than just "friends" is bad.

    I would confront him more on the general worries that you are feeling with him adding a bunch of girls on social media, snapchat, whatsapp, etc.. Ask him to keep you more informed on what is going on. I get the feeling that you would be happier and trust him more if he told you kind of what was up. The distrust seems to be caused that he is being a bit secretive with how he is going about it.

    On your end, going through his phone is probably not the best solution. Why? Because doing so may cause you to jump to conclusions about what was going on. (Unless you found him sending stuff like nudes or whatever, but that is a different story).

    On both your sides, there seems to be trust issues. You are having trust issues with him cheating, and (assuming he isn't actually cheating) he is having trust issues with communicating to you stuff.

    If these continue, I may suggest couples counseling to hash out the differences. Yeah-- many see the words "couple counseling" and go eww, but from the people I've heard go to it, I've heard them say it has helped in their relationship.

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    • I'd like couples counseling but he wouldn't
      And in our country if it gets to talking through phone then it's definitely not friendship or so

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    • Yea, he didn't want to

    • There seems to be an underlying issue then-- he either isn't taking this thing seriously or he just plain doesn't care.
      I would try one last time to express just how serious you are about this. Really emphasize it. If he still just blows it off...

      This is a big issue. Communication is breaking down. I would maybe take a break from him, as in, crashing at your parents or a friend's house... Just until things clear up a bit. If he still doesn't care after that, you can perhaps think about more drastic actions.

Most Helpful Girl

  • If he doesn't want you to look into his stuff, he shouldn't give you a reason to -.-

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    • I told him this before but he was still making me look like the bad guy and it was my mistake

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • Why sleep with the enemy? Marriage is about trust and if you can't trust him, perhaps its best to move on. You should both go see a marriage councilor and i'm glad you had a conversation with your parents. However, what if you get herpes? Can a conversation with your parents cure you of that? On the other hand, you can't just assume someone is cheating if you have no evidence.

    But it probably makes you sick and its unhealthy for you, then maybe you should go back to your parents until you feel better. If my girlfriend or wife won't let me check her phone, i'm not going to put up with it. Privacy fucking ended when you said, "i do till death do we part".

    Or, if you wanna be petty as fuck, you too can have a snap chat, instagram, facebook, and hangout with your friends until 3am on the weekends to see how he likes it.

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  • kick him out

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