How many breakups have you had so far?

Be honest about the number of times you have broken up.

Did any of your breakups turned out better than you had expected? Or worse than you had expected?

What was the best that you did to handle breakups? Especially the more difficult ones?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I've had 4 break ups before. Two initiated by me and two initiated by my ex's. Looking back now I'm truly thankful for each break up as I wouldn't have met my current boyfriend who makes me the happiest by far. My last relationship was probably the worst one for me as my ex dumped me out of the blue and abandoned me without a care in the world. The other seemed fine compared to that. Best strategy for me is to block their numbers, give myself a month to be upset and then I throw myself back in the dating game. For me the best cure for a broken heart is to find someone new again :)

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    • You would like the old saying... The best over to get over someone, is to get under someone else'. lol.

    • I mean.. The best way to get over someone, is to get under someone else.

Most Helpful Guy

  • One, at the time it was bad but a week on I was happier than I'd ever been. I ended all communication shortly after that but as we couldn't speak I don't know how she took it but seeing some of her last words to me were "you're an asshole" I imagine not very well :/ so I feel kinda bad but it was for the best for me :)

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    • If things did not end well or ended really ugly in a relationship, then it is probably the better to completely stop and disconnect all forms of communications with the person you had broken up with.

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    • Yeah I know, I never want to see either :P she was very manipulative (which I spotted early on) and now has another boyfriend who's a really bad person so seeing her is the last thing I want to do :P

    • Thanks for MHG :)

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What Girls Said 18

  • I'll say I have had three official break ups. I was the one who did the dumping and it wasn't fun. I hate hurting people's feelings, but no sense in carrying it on if itst not meant to be.

    First one was just him being immature. Second was because the guy was just extremely lazy. He had no intentions in life. No goals. Nothing. Lastly was a guy who just didn't see things like I did. We always argued and I felt like garbage if I didn't agree with him.

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    • Hmm... I've been thinking. Then that would mean the next time you would need to find someone that is mature and is an adult and takes and accepts his responsibility and is someone that is goal-oriented and has realistic ideas on what he wants to achieve and accomplish instead of a drifting slacker lazy bum. But even more importantly, someone that is a good negotiator and able to compromise and does NOT always feel and think or see that his way is always the right way, the better way, or even the only way because it all becomes one-sided in the relationship which does no good at all for the relationship. In other words, it would need to be like someone much more humble but yet still has his shit together.

    • Very true. I am waiting for that.

  • 2 break ups for me lol

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    • Then I really hope that the 'third' time's a charm or something for you.

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    • So does that mean you have thrown in the towel as well? You gonna remain Single from here on out?

      If that's the case, well it's understandable. Maybe it's better to focus your time, effort and energy elsewhere instead if relationships and dating.

    • She means not to have a third breakup

  • I've had 2.

    it's never easy. u just have to move on.

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    • Pretty much. You can only move forward since it's better than remaining unhappy and dwelling on it. 2 times, I'm starting to believe that the first relationship anyone ever gets into will almost always typically be a learning experience, a trial or rites of passage kind of thing. But since you already had 2, then I hope that the 3rd time will be a charm for you.

      Besides, very rarely people get back together with former significant others anyway, so why shouldn't or wouldn't those that had broken up move on?

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    • you are? wow i didn't expect it. u know there are plenty of women who don't mind not having children. i mean if u want love u shouldn't give up on it, just because u THINK u won't find it.

    • Even then, no guarantees they are even close to a match other that we only agree and is certain that kids aren't for us but the dating pool becomes even much more tighter and smaller, and limited because of the restrictions we had created by never willing to change a critical life-changing decision. It all becomes extra difficult to the point that it becomes questionable to me if it is even worth my time and effort to continue and try and when I have other problems and obligations which are also stacked against me.

      I don't think it's love that I really want.

      Sometimes I have no idea what I really want but rather instead I have a clearer idea of what I really Don't want.

  • I've had exactly six. Four before I was married, and then my divorce, and then one rebound relationship.

    Three times (including the rebound) I knew that I didn't respect him as much as I should and that it wouldn't work out. I'm a strong personality, and when I realized the guy liked me way more than I liked him I set him free quickly. None of my relationships, other than my marriage, lasted more than a month or two so it's not a big deal.

    My husband was abusive. That's a whole other can of worms. I stayed 15 years and finally had to leave him.

    There were two guys in college who broke up with me. Again, the relationships only lasted a couple of months but it was rough. My whole self-esteem was wrapped up in them and I got very depressed. It took longer to get over them than the relationships lasted. Gee, wonder why I fell for an abuser?

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  • I've had 3 so far.
    Did any of your breakups turned out better than you had expected?
    None of them did. They were all pretty terrible.

    Or worse than you had expected?
    I didn't really expect them so it was kind go surprising. I mean, one was of mutual agreement and the other was me breaking up with him, but it was still kind of a surprise sorta.

    What was the best that you did to handle breakups?
    I just talked with friends and hung out with them and kept my mind busy.

    Especially the more difficult ones?
    Same as ^^^ question.

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    • I think you had given me the most thorough response to my question so far out of everyone else that had replied.

      I figured that the best way to deal with breakups is really just to stay busy and re-prioritize your attention to other more important things and just think of the fun things you want to do and just do them. The more difficult the breakup then more busy you should get to distract the mind from focusing so much energy and disappointments and unhappiness from the breakup.

      Better luck on your 4th relationship then. Hopefully that will be your best one yet and will eventually either lead into an engagement, a wedding or something. If not, then I hope it ends significantly better compared to how your previous 3 breakups had went.

  • 5. Two were initiated my be, two by them, and one was mutual. The last one was the worst (initiated my him), I acted like a crazy person. It was a 4 year long relationship and he dumped me a year ago and I'm still not completely over him. Other 4 I handled pretty well, although the mutual one wasn't what we wanted (we didn't have other choice so we were forced to break up). But time made sure I get over him as well, and we're still very close friends.

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  • 3.
    I handled the last one best.

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    • Also those 3 were all with the same person.

    • Then that would mean that you two had really really tried hard to make your relationship work, but in the end I guess it was better to move forward and move on. Hey, you did your best and if things all ended on good terms then that's all it matter. Though I wonder who took the initiative for the breakup, was it you or him?

    • He did every time.

  • 2 breakups
    Both were kinda messy. The first one had less hard feelings. I don't think I handled either one that well. I tried to be nice during the first one but they still were really upset.

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  • I've had 2. I got dumped and I did the dumping.

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  • Zero.

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    • Then you're lucky at least so far, but then again you are in you early 20s. If it's a first relationship it more often than not does happen.

      I never had one either since I never dated my entire life, much less been in any prior relationships. And the age displayed is incorrect, I'm much older than 18 now.

    • Thanks for the optimism lol

  • I have had just one and that's enough for now. It wasn't easy because it was my first relationship but time helps.

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    • Here we go again. I'm becoming more convinced than ever that first time relationships are typically meant for learning experiences and very very rarely ever end in a happily ever after fairytale ending with marriage and wedding ceremony, etc. Not that they never or can never happen, they just doesn't seem to occur very frequently realistically, and even then, divorce can still happen afterwards, no absolute guarantees.

      Just take the best that you have learned and put that toward your next relationship, it's either you keep trying despite it can and will hurt or you stop trying and let it all go and just let it be.

    • I understand everything that you're saying, it's just that the break up was fairly recent so hence I said one break up is enough for now. Will I get into another relationship in the future? Yes. Just not ready for one, at the moment.

  • 3. My first I thought was my worst. My second I almost loved him but it was too good to be true. And my 3rd I'm dealing with now which is my most difficult

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  • I've had two breakups. Both in the same relationship. First he broke up with me and then we were back together for a couple days and then I broke up with him.
    Well when he broke up with me, I cried a lot and it happened while at school, so it was rough.
    When I broke up with him, I felt bad but it felt so good to be out of that relationship.

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  • I'd say about 7

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    • You're in the lead so far. I had 2 other responses that had been tied at 6 breakups so far.

      Mind elaborating if any of your breakups turned out better and/or worse than you had expected?

  • 3 and I'm 18 all breakups are bad and complicated which is why I hate being in a relationship lol

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  • 15, maybe 5 of them were serious/long-term relationships

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    • One of them was really bad. I was very depressed. He betrayed me, slept with my girlfriend he met on a funereal of MY MOTHER. They both were around and eventually started to f*** behind my back while I was completely destroyed. I still don't know how I survived through this time and stayed emotionally adequate and didn't lose my believe in love. Really, it was the worst thing ever happened to me. But probably, just some alone time helped to figure my feelings out. I don't even remember now. I think that TIME is the medicine. And that the day when you will be over this WILL definitely come, you just have to wait to proceed your feelings and move on. Since then I move on quite easily. I know that if a person doesn't want to be with you, there's not much you can do about it. And why to worry about things that you can't control? Of course, I'm still getting upset when a relationship doesn't work out, BUT I ALWAYS can move on. ALWAYS.

    • Wow, you just go the latest high score for the number of breakups here. Well you are still trying so who knows? It may take many tries, but it's worth it since a loving meaningful relationship is important to you and is an important goal in life for you. I would think by now you have accumulated lots experience for dating and relationships since you have the largest amounts of breakups so far. Lots of "trial and error"-ing there.

  • 2 but I am smooth sailing

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  • I've had 6 so far

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    • They must have been fairly short relationships then, and I'm only guessing by going by your age displayed but it could be that it's not your true age that is being displayed if you had not used a real birthday like I did.

      So what happened with relationships number 2 through 6? I understand that the first is usually just really for learning purposes and nothing really more, and really very rarely will be the final relationship that would result in a fairytale happily ever after ending since that's just a fantasy.

      That means you already have more relationship with dating and experience than the majority of everyone else here that had responded to my question. There was one other person here that had the same amount of breakups, and I had originally plan on giving the MHO to the person that had the most breakups. But I'll have to wait and see if anyone is legit about having more than 6 breakups at this point.

    • No that's my true age I will be 19 in a few weeks though. But yes they have all been short term relationships none last more than 6 months.

      The 2nd breakup I had was because I dumped him for trying to hookup with my bestfriend an then denying it. We were on and off for about 2 months.

      The 3rd breakup was from the guy, he dumped me for his ex, but then we got back together a couple of years later we lasted just short of 6 months before I dumped him for being an asshole and he was my last breakup.

      4th one he dumped me for his exs sister who then dumped him a couple of weeks later for another guy. We were together for about 5 and half months before he dumped me.

      5th one well again I dumped him because he was always changing his mind about whether he wanted me or not and he called me a few things and I was jut getting over it all an at the time I wasn't really wanting a relationship because I was in my final year of high school.

What Guys Said 14

  • Only one. She wanted to push me to speed things up (she wanted to move in with me after six months in the hopes that it would cure her own problems) I wasn't willing to do so, so I broke up with her and hoped she found what she was looking for, it wasn't to bad actually, we both knew it needed to be done.

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    • It sounded like she was really desperate which would not make things better for the relationship.

    • Yeah, she was, thats why I broke up with her, she obviously wanted something I couldn't provide her.

  • 11 or so? Only 2 of which were there not a lot of hard feelings, where we simply agreed that it wasn't gonna work out. Most of the rest, either showed their true colors, or their moms hated me irrationally.

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    • No kidding. The part where you meet the parents and getting their approval must have been like the real pain in the ass phase. If you can't get along with them now then I guess things would be worse if you had them as in-laws, right?

    • In the case of the gal in 2002, her mom hated me because I was 3 years and 7 months older than the gal I was into. She made us break up, because it was "creepy" for a high school sophomore girl to be seeing a boy who had only just graduated from high school and was about to start college. Her being friends with lowlifes that would rob Subway for drug money, on the other hand, was "just life." Me offering to be the positive influence to lure her away from that? "Too creepy."

      The other gal was divorced. I knew her ex-mother-in-law by pure coincidence. The gal's mother found out that I'd met both sides of the defunct family. Suddenly I was "the enemy." It was totally unfair.

  • Zero. That's because I have never had a relationship in the first place!. I have always been single

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    • So any idea which path you'll seek for being single? Would it be the path of remain single Until you find the right person you truly want to be in a meaningful relationship or are you foregoing relationships altogether and remaining single indefinitely? Or maybe you're unsure and undecided?

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    • Yes, that's what I said, I never want marriage, I never want to be in love also and hence no relationships whatsoever, and so I never want kids also. I am just going to single for my entire lifetime.

      No adoption either!!.

    • So my guesses was right. You and I are similar in regards to completely foregoing being somebody's dad, and as well as being somebody's husband or boyfriend. Then that just means we only have to focus on our own lives and stay alive as long as we can with whatever the hell we've got left, and enjoy whatever we could with whatever time we've got left in this shitty world.

  • I love the amounts of men vs women in the break up department. If that doesn't tell you something...

    One break up. She dumped me, but then took me back. In hindsight, if I was the man I am today, I would of told her to fuck right off if she asked me back. But I'm actually glad I did take her back. One of those crazy life things.

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    • If getting back together worked out better, then why not, right? If she really had moved on for good then there's no point of her coming back to you, otherwise then would that not make you doubt her, such as maybe she became desperate?

    • I think she was desperate. She told me she wasn't. Afterwards I had the power to get rid of her but stuck by her side through all of it. She complimented me in many ways. So it was a good thing in the need regardless.

  • two, the first time was when I was a lot younger as it goes and the second was very messy. she turned out to be "emotionally unavailable" and not over her ex and I was being one of those "nice guys". when it turned out she was not taking things seriously it ended. BUT I am truly thankful because it sent me on a journey of self improvement after I realised my faults.

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    • I notice that when it comes to dealing with breakups and/or divorces it's either back to the drawing board to re-assess what you had right and what you could have done better and from the experience you had you would then put that towards a future relationship and be smarter and wiser the next time around otherwise you just throw in towel and give up because you don't feel it's worth your time, energy or effort anymore.

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    • Totally agree exactly what happened to me but im not like that anymore thank god.

    • I'm just thankful I learnt that lesson on a girl who never actually wanted to be with me and not a nice girl I could of had a future with.

  • I never had a break-up and I don't suppose I ever will, cause I am not stupid enough to give my heart to someone else.. I buried it inside a golden chest and dumped it into the well when I was kid...
    No emotions, no fear, no broken heart

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    • Well I have to say that is quite an impressive work in progress you've got so far.

      Now maybe you can try to adding No Pain, No Pity, and No Remorse and Not Be able to be bargained with or reasoned with and lock and dump all those too. xD lol

      At 19 years old, I think you've got other more important matters to worry about than relationships anyway. But by mid 30s to mid 40s I think will be the point of safe return (it's either you change if you have second thoughts or you don't do anything if you are certain about being single forever) anywhere after that age range and you are pretty much amongst the rest of those that will remain single indefinitely for the remainder of our lives.

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    • Because some people expect that married and having kids mean guys are truly grown up and mature and conform to all that societal norm bullshit. What they don't understand is that in reality it is never fucking guaranteed and that it's all a big fucking lie about having a family of your own and kids would meant a fairytale "happily ever after" ending or type of result.

      Speaking of hooking up, have you considered getting a vasectomy or some form of permanent birth control? Depending upon where you are in the world, getting a woman knocked up and then be ordered by court to pay child support would be terrible. Child support laws are pretty much stacked against men to begin with. So I hope you are aware and have taken all precautionary measures against it.

      And always practice safe sex if you are hooking up frequently. Always, unless you are absolutely certain you know the other person does not have any kind of venereal disease (s) or something.

    • That's really thoughtful, yes I gave it a thought, but I am currently or at least for next couple of getting engaged in sex, so got nothing to be worried about

  • I have broken up with a girl 5 times. I think they all ended well, somewhat, I mean, it's always gonna be somewhat tough on the person who got dumped, but we didn't fight or anything.
    The problem came after 3 of my exes (who were best friends) started to go against me and try to do stuff, but thank goodness I was dating another of their friends, so I was sort of safe xD

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  • I'm currently sitting at 0 for my total breakup count.
    Granted... I kind of have to be in a relationship before I can break up with someone (or someone to break up with me) lol

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    • I guess that is how it always is. If you got no one, you have no one to lose. If no one else has you then they don't have you to lose xD

  • I have only had 2 and I don't plan on having a 3rd.

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    • So you sure you officially throw in the towel this time?

      Can't be that bad? At least you've had received the experience on what it was like to be in a relationship right?

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    • Let's hope 3rd time's a charm then. take the experience you had from your last 2 relationships and use what's positive toward your next one.

    • I know lol.

  • How do you define that? Does it imply strong negative emotion? Because I got divorced even tho I didn't hate her or have any big arguments. And we are still good friends.

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    • Then that's even better. That means you guys ended it responsibly and understood each other without putting any blame on yourselves or each other for your divorce. It's always best to to end things on good terms and not burn bridges or something if I remembered correctly when it comes to any kind of relationship either personal or professional.

  • Zero :) one of the benefits of having never been in a relationship

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    • Well that just makes two of us.

      I think pretty much the only way to guarantee that you will never have a breakup is to never be in a relationship. Once you are in a relationship the possibility of breakup will ALWAYS exist. Both parties can only do their best that they could to stay together, but even then, there are no guarantees that things will get better or that any actual progress will be made.

  • One. I broke up with her. Happiest moment in the last few months before the breakup.

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    • I should add: she tried everything to get me to take her back. Even threatened to kill herself.

    • Well, at least you don't give in to her threats and demands so that means progress and that you are willing to move forward. If it's one breakup so far, then that means it was your very first relationship.

      Just take it as a learning experience. Use your experience towards your next relationship so it could help make things much better than your previous experience.

      I think it's for the first time in a long time that I have ever actually hear someone felt happy after that they had broken up and was honest with themselves that they are in a unhappy relationship.

    • It was a 2 year relationship. We were inseparable, but the last 3 months were GOD AWFUL

  • thankfully never had a feminist arrangement called "relationship" and never will :D

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  • Zero.

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    • If you never had someone, then you never really have any concerns of losing someone.

    • Yeah. But I have never been afraid of losing someone or something. It is just whenever I was with a girl I could never turned it into a relationship. So neither set up nor break up.

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