My "ex" has come back what do I do?

ok so long story short, I had been seeing this girl I had known since school for a couple of months, anyway it turns out she was emotionally unavailable and not over her ex and I was a rebound (found this out after we had in my mind gotten serious and id asked her if it was time to make it official and she flipped out and ran a mile) anyway after that I said id had enough and broke contact... now I get a message from her saying she wants to talk About us. i suppose I still have some feelings for her but I know she has issues over commitment and trust and letting me in etc and hates to compromise or even plan a date for the next Friday! so I dont know if i could build anything lasting with her if she always wants it her way and couple disappear any moment again, what do i do?


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What Girls Said 2

  • What do you do? Save yourself and your time for a woman who actually knows what she wants and doesn't treat your heart like an object to use at her disposal. So she was emotionally unavailable and has baggage from a former relationship. That's perfectly understandable. But making you navigate through her unchecked, perpetual, annoying azz baggage with her because she can't seem to get her sh*t together? Not cool. You shouldn't have to pay for a heart you didn't break. It's not fair that you have to jump through hurdles all at the risk of her running away out of fear because she's acting with you the way she should have acted with her fucked up past romance. It is absolutely selfish, self-centered, and wrong for her to put you through this nonsense because she cannot get the hell over whatever happened with a different man at a different time.

    Her issues are going to become a burden and even if they don't... you deserve better than a female who behaves like that. Leave her to deal with her mess on her own if she's going to drag you into it with such little courtesy and consideration.

    P. S. How convenient is it that she returns into your life shortly before Valentine's Day. -_-

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    • You are totally right, she said plainly that my feelings were not her concern the last time so why should I expect anything different this time! Just sucks because I've just about got myself up again when she messaged me lol and yes very convenient just before singles awareness day lol

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    • LOL! You're damn right they are! ;p You're welcome. Make wise choices and don't accept anyone's unnecessary, indecisive, tactless fuckery. :)

    • roger that.

  • I think that if you like her, you could give it a go. But, you will need to set boundaries. If she is afraid of commitment, then date slowly. Get to know one another. Explain that relationships are about compromise.

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What Guys Said 1

  • What do you want? It is easy for others to tell you that you should not give her a second chance, but if you have doubts and you will later have regrets, you are the one who must live with that, so. . . what do YOU want?

    If you want to give it a try, begin with a conversation which tells her what you like about her and what was annoying, intolerable, etc. for you the last time around. Give her an idea that you are capable of compromise but there are some areas where you are not willing to compromise. Ask her what she is willing to give to you that she as not the last time around.

    Them turn the tables and have her ask you the same questions. If you survive this talk, you may have the basis for a relationship. There is no harm in exploring the possibility if you think it holds any promise.

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    • Thank you for this advice, I took it and contacted her, unfortunately she didn't like the conversation and was not willing to accept the things I wouldn't compromise on. But im glad I gave it a chance again thanks for the advice.

    • Now, you will never look back with regrets and wonder what might have happened if you had that conversation. As you get older, looking back with regrets becomes painful and you should avoid being in those situations. I'm glad you tried, you know it has no chance, and now you can move on without looking back too much.

      Good luck!

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