Boyfriend cheated on me, I forgave him, he dumped me?

My boyfriend and I dated for 3 years. used to talk about marriage and he said I was perfect. then he cheated and dumped me. says he has no feelings at all and doesn't want to see me again. what can I do? I love him so much and I want him back:(

  • cheaters don't deserve second chances. move on and find someone better.
    Vote A
  • Go NC and see if he changes his mind.
    Vote B
  • Let fate decide.
    Vote C
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm all about second chances BUT cheaters are a strange breed... it depends on how easy it is for them to hook with other people (and a number of other factors).

    This girl I knew who cheated on her last boyfriend multiple times seemed to have changed and I decided to give it a shot... well it turned out that she was already seeing a guy and I bumped into her with him (the emotions I felt were overwhelming) she also cheated on that "new guy" with other people as well.

    Long story short it depends on the person and in my situation the person never changed just got better at pretending to be a decent person.

    So considering your circumstances of him cheating and leaving you the only logical thing to do/say is fuck him and work on improving yourself and you will meet someone 100 times better.

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    • thanks for your advice! that makes me feel better. we have been hooking up since the break up and he just recently admitted to only having been using me for sex and that he was in a relationship with someone else. its been 9 months

    • Well then I suggest that you delete his number and erase him of any social media because why maintain contact when he has already torched this bridge?

      Now it's your turn to walk away, and it should be your decision in the future whether or not you would want to be friends or whatever... but as it stands right now you shouldn't do anything when he's the one who wronged you (also don't expect him to change or come back just move on with your life you're probably better of without him).

      BUT I'm sticking to the "fuck him, improve yourself & you'll meet someone better".

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What Guys Said 16

  • Option A all the way. It's been 3 years so that is quite some time invested here and yet he still is untrustworthy.

    So what I think you should have done after he had cheated on you is to just ditch his ass and be like fuck him, if he ever runs into a problem that requires your assistance or support and your assistance or support only then he can forget about ever getting any support or assistance from you. Don't answer his calls, text, emails, etc., in other words completely cut him the fuck off.

    Ignore him like the plague all the way, and it would be even better if he realizes one day he was wrong about what he had done and begins to regret it cause then at that point he'd be totally fucking butthurt over fucking up and cheating on you in the first place.

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  • Honestly move on and see if he truly moved on as well or is he a selfless idiot who said those things cause he expected you to lash out at him for cheating.

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  • I would say it depends on you, we're just people who can tell you our opinion, but the exact decision must be chosen only by you. If I was were you probably, like in the situation I am, my girlfriend break up after 4 years with me, saying he doesn't love me anymore, but I'm ready to give my life for her.
    So think about it first, and then decide sometimes it's not so easier to get the right choice.
    Good Luck!

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  • You should be glad he dumped you after his lack of judgment for you.. but you should have dumped him first.. to me there is no room in a relationship for someone cheating on the other person

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  • just move on. he cheated because his heart is not still in it.

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  • You shouldn't have taken him back.

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  • No sweetie I'll tell from experience if he/she cheats once they will do it again. My Ex girlfriend was cheating on me with her guy best friend, but karma got her back her guy best friend cheated on her with another girl. They ended up marrying and have a baby. My ex girlfriend was pissed at him. Let Karma handle it for you sweetie.

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  • Lol similar situation. Stop wanting and start living with who you wan to be with rather than some washed up loser

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  • You can do nothing. You gave him a chance and he smashed it. Move on. Don't waste your life on him any longer.

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  • Does someone who betrayed you and doesn't respect you deserve your love? Would you really want to marry the kind of person who would do that to someone who loves them? If he was a stranger and you heard he did this to someone would you think he was a good person? You kbow you deserve better

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    • love this advice, thank you so much

  • Drop that loser immediately

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  • because it turned him off you have no self respect. fuck what everyone says. he's a piece of shit but thats what did it in the end. also proves my point if you cheat you dont love.

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  • To be brutally honest you sound a bit needy. That's not attractive to guys. Stop moping about this guy. Better guys are still out there.

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  • Sounds like it's over and honestly I don't understand why you even want him back.

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  • Fuck that ass hole, he is a child

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  • I have a policy. You cheat on me it's over. Find someone else

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What Girls Said 14

  • "A" for Absolutely Right. This would Always Be a Full Circle Problem Pattern from Everything from Soup to Nuts with a Nut job whose Stripes with all of his Likes would Never... Change. This is One dog who Needs to Go.
    However, with All of your His and Her history of '3 years' and Please, do Not be Counting here. dear. He may Strike Again for the Third Time But... Strike Three, this Pup would be barking Up the wrong tree.
    Good luck. xx

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  • People who cheat have no respect for you. Surely you don't want to be with a guy who doesn't value loyalty and who has no respect for you. People only treat you how you allow them to treat you, You have to set boundaries and never allow anyone to cross them. You set your own standards of how others treat you , by what you allow , what you stop and what you reinforce.

    If a person cheats once, then that will always be their potential. If you give him another chance then you have no one else to blame but yourself... because it would be you who ran back to the one person who broke you. You can't expect loyalty from dishonest people. (sorry if that sounds mean, i don't mean to be, but it's the truth)

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  • The only thing that you can do which would make any sense would be to leave him.
    Feel free to take him back, despite him already having shown how little you mean to him by not only cheating on you but also dumping you.

    However, if he by no surprise cheats on and dumps you again, you'll have nobody to blame but yourself. It's not like you weren't given a heads up when he cheated on you the first time.

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  • cheaters don't deserve second chances. move on and find someone better.
    I can't stand jerks like that. I think if you love someone that you only like them.

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  • I know its hard and it hurts, and you don't want to think about what he did. But he willingly hurt you and that means that he is a bad person. Good people don't willingly hurt other people. Block him on everything and take the time to really cry it out, even if it takes months. You where with him for a long time and it will be a hard road but it will be worth it once you get over the hump. Let yourself heal.

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  • he cheated because he felt like he wasn't getting enough out fo you. either he did it for the sex or their were truly no more feelings for you.
    sorry this happened to you :( u should move on find someone new to start the sparks with

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  • i say let fate decide

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  • Forget him. He is swine.

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  • Holy smokes! Do what you want, but I'd say you'll get over this & find someone better.

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  • Wow. He sounds really cold... how could u want him back?

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  • sorry he broke your heart :( but he's made it very clear to you that he has no feelings and that's the ultimate "no". There's nothing left for him. You most likely won't get him back, he's cheated on you. That means he wants to be with other girls. You need to move on and like you said, find someone better.

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  • All of those poll options are good points. I have been in the position of doing something detrimental to my relationship, but I know it wasn't in my character, not who I am and would never ever do it again because it hurt me just as much in the long run. I still can't forgive myself some days. BUT in that same relationship it was reversed and I almost thought I deserved some dignity. Since it doesn't seem like he has apologized or said how much he regretted it, I think you need to have some self respect and find someone better sadly. It's hard to come to the realization when you love someone so much but by going no contact permanently it will give you time to focus on yourself and maybe after a month or two see the bigger picture and maybe you don't need him after all? Good luck xx

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  • The best advice I can give you is, kick that prick to the kerb for good. If you take him back it will be dejavu all over again. If he cheats on you once he'll do it again. It sounds like he's moved on to someone else. Forget him and move on. Don't waste time agonizing over someone that doesn't give a shit about you. Plenty of more fish in the sea. Find someone who you can love, trust and will treat you with the respect that you deserve.

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  • Just move on. Obviously you didn't mean much to him if he can cheat on you. Don't settle for that.

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