My boyfriend called me too skinny a year ago and I'm falling into depression. I want to break up with him. What are your thoughts on this?

My boyfriend told me I was too skinny twice before and also suggested I start eating. I do eat a lot and have tried to gain weight before but it doesn't happen. And I know he loves curvy girls since he's always liking pics as such on social media sites. He's a really nice person and when I told him he hurt me. he got all worried and told me he didn't mean it at all. I can't trust him though *he broke my trust once* and since then I've been falling into depression since my skinniness is an issue for a long time back which I constantly tell myself I shouldn't be bothered. should I end it with him? Talking to him reminds me of my insecurity and it's eating me up from inside. I thought it would be okay but it's been a little more than a year now and it's not working out. All me and my boyfriend now do is fight and get back because he loves me too much to let go. He still doesn't want to end it but I can't do this anymore.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I wouldn't break up with a guy over something like that. I mean if you are going to end it with him or threaten to end it with him over something he said then he's going to feel like he's walking on egg shells the whole time and it probably won't last that way. If he tried to comfort you and say he didn't mean it then that right there is an indication he actually cares about you. If he was indifferent and bitter about it that would be totally different. Even at that I'm not sure that would be grounds for breaking up. If I was to break up with a girl she would have to do something majorly ****** up like cheat on me or pretty much show me that she doesn't love or care about me.

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    • As I've previously mentioned, he does care about me. But it's really confusing Sometimes. I feel like he cares more about the relationship than about me. For instance, when I talk about problems, he jumps into not repeating it and about how it would all be okay but seldom about the problem itself and how it's affecting me.

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    • I'm here asking for opinion because I can't talk with him about this.
      He is going to anything he can to avoid any sort of fight or me leaving him.
      Because he "loves" me.

    • Well if he truly loves you and says he will accept you for who you are. Then you should ask yourself If you still love him? If you do, then the next question is can you forgive him and put all that stuff behind you and still love him the way you used to? There's a lot of questions that you should ask yourself, I really can't tell you what to do. I mean, this is something that your going to have to figure out, I know for an absolute fact that two people in a relationship need to be able to talk to each other. Trust is a Huge issue, when people lose trust in each other a relationship will start tearing itself apart. As you probably have found out already. Communication is a huge thing, If you can't talk to him, then I can tell you for a fact that things won't get better. I don't know this guy or what he's like, so it could go either way. If he doesn't want to lose you then he probably won't go anywhere. On the other hand, do you still want him? you'll have to make that choice yourself.

Most Helpful Girl

  • First thing you should go see the doctor/nutritionist/dietitian and the second thing you should do is that see if you are not happy with him and if you don't love him, then break up otherwise if you still do love him then try working it out, but concentrate more on your body and don't try to eat junk so that you think you will put on weight, infact eat healthier and go to the gym and do weights and all so that your body builds muscles or whatever so that you don't look skinny, but don't be muscular just tone your body and be healthy, I don't know much about it go to the doctor you will know everything. The third thing is no one has the right to make you feel bad or insecure about yourself, not even your parents, friends, boyfriend or not even yourself. If you are happy the way you are you don't need to care about what others think or say and remember the process is going to take time, but it will happen eventually and it will be worth it. Do what makes you happy and if you can't do this anymore break up with him. Its your choice and its your life, at the end we are all alone, so it doesn't matter what the society thinks or care.

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    • Don't say you don't need to go to the doctor, go try, there is no harm.

    • I don't know much about your relationship, but maybe your depression is harming it or maybe not. Talk it out with him. EVERYTHING WILL BE GOOD IN THE END.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • If you really are too "skinny", you should talk to your doctor about it. But going on with these difficulties with your boyfriend only hurts you. You probably should have broken up with him ages ago, not because he is wrong or that you are, just because your differences are causing you depression. Find someone you can be happy with.

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    • I don't need to go to a doctor. I did a lot of track and gymnastics and other stuff from a young age and also since my parents are skinny, it caused me to become this way.

    • As is said "If you really are too "skinny",". If it is a normal thing, then just ignore that part and go with the rest, because it applies to the difficulties between you two regardless of your health.

What Girls Said 4

  • Well with the beginning comment I was going to say, sometimes guys mean well and think they are helpful to tell us to gain weight and that in itself shouldn't be enough to cause depression but if all you do is fight and get back together because he can't let go, then you may need to end things and find happiness within yourself. If that's difficult, try talking with a doctor or therapist. Maybe your depression is not based on the relationship but rather imbalances within your body that medication may help with.

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  • If you feel like it can't get better then yes you should break up.
    But...
    before taking such decision, you should try to understand where he came from. I really don't know how skinny you are. It's obvious a problem for you. Did he tell you this because he's concern about your health or was it just coming from the fact that he's more into curvy women. How did he react when you explained it to him.
    The main thing here is for you to know if he was genuinely concerned and if you could both move past this.

    Sometimes, you have to work on relationships and hold on. Depression can also affect your decision. Also, have you seen a doctor? it's not good to fight this alone

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    • I don't think it's that much of a health concern. It's the genes, my family members are all skinny. And I'm pretty sure he can also tell that it's genes. For the other part, I'm not sure where it's coming from. When I told him he hurt me, he was more worried about losing me than making me feel better so That's probably part of the reason I'm still feeling so bad about it.

    • Well, if you think breaking up with him is the right call, you should do it.
      I had a friend in a similar situation. She was always a thick girl and her boyfriend made comment out of the blue. she was a mess. A year after those comments she broke up with him. It took a year for her to grow her confidence back. Breaking up with him was the best decision she ever made.
      Though, I do feel like every situations are different and here, we can't know everything that's going on. Do what feels best for you

  • I think you should. You don't sound happy in this relationship. It's one thing to have disagreements in a relationship, but it's a totally different ballgame to feel insecure and put down around your significant other. I'm positive that you could find someone who appreciates you more than he does, and you'll never learn to appreciate yourself as long as you're with him. Be strong and move on, girl <3

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    • I've been meaning to do that and have tried multiple times but he doesn't let me go. I am sure he loves me a lot. And i know he didn't mean any harm. I love him a lot too but my insecurity is killing me. I'm also scared about loosing us since its been 3 years already.

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    • Even my boyfriend cries a lot and it does break my heart. I think that makes me an easy person to manipulate.
      Do you regret leaving him though? And do you still think of him at times?

    • Not one bit. Once I finally got out, it was a breath of fresh air. He was a little manipulative during our relationship. Now I'm in the best relationship of my life and I've never regretted leaving the other guy.

  • Yes, best to end things he sounds toxic to you mentally and emotionally.

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    • I'm not sure if his toxicity is the result of my love for him, or if his toxicity is the cause of my love.
      I'm scared to make a solid decision.

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    • Hmm true.
      For once I forgot that there are non toxic relationships out there.

    • Yes... we have all been through the toxic ones...

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