I can't get over the feeling of being cheated on?

Before going on his senior spring break, I asked my then boyfriend of two and a half years to have a lot of fun but to please be careful. He assured me I had nothing to worry about as he loved me very much and would never do anything like that. While on the trip, he did not have his phone. When he got back he started acting strange around me. I asked if anything had happened and he said no, twice. he started wanting to go to parties and hang out with friends more than spend time with me. he said things felt weird and I hadn't been the same. I saw a text on his phone to another girl saying "OMG I am done with her swear to god". A month after he got back from the trip, he admitted to having cheated on me with another girl. at first he told me it was a random girl, he didn't know her name, they had only made out. then I heard from other people that it was a girl from our school and that they had slept together. I also heard there was a picture of them walking together on the beach at night. and that they had danced together and hooked up twice. I still dont know what truly happened as my ex lied about it and never gave me all the details. but it hurts so much. he told me I was ten times prettier and he didn't know how he had messed up, but why did he do it? was he not thinking about me at all that trip? did he not care about me? did I just escape his mind for an entire night to be able to do that? why wasn't I good enough? how did he see me everyday for a month and not tell me? had he been losing feelings that whole time? he broke up with me two days after telling me, then slept with someone else a week after. he told me he still loves me and that we are going to get back together eventually. Im so upset and dont know what to think.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • i think you have valid questions but i think they are questions that often go unanswered in these cases.

    i've been cheated on and you always want answers that get to the root of the reason they betrayed you but usually those answers dont' come. even if you get answers they are often leaving out some details.

    i think the simple fact is that it sounds like he wants something that isn't a steady committed relationship. it sounds like he wants to go out, party, etc and have the ability to hook up with people.

    sorry this happened. try to look ahead. do what you can to put one foot in front of the other and just begin the difficult walk away from a relationship you didn't necessarily want to end

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    • thank you. do you think when he is ready for a committed relationship again he will want me back?

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    • thats very good advice, thank you. but we used to always talk about marriage and stuff, to whom will be get married now? he always said he would never find anyone like me...

    • who will you get married to now?

      look i know you're hurting. i know this guy was probably extremely important in your life but take my word for it, there are other fish in the sea. i was cheated on twice. both times immediately after the relationship i felt hopeless. but i'm married and extremely happy. the good that can come out of this is knowing things in guys that may be problematic down the line.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I will answer your questions.
    He did it probably cuz he was curious as to what it would feel like.
    He does care for you since he's still talking after that, but he doesn't care enough to have considered the obvious possibility of how hurt you would end up.
    I don't know you so I don't know if you're good enough. But I am sure that his cheating would not only be a result of whether or not you are good enough. Curiosity is a deadly thing. Some assholes will always be curious about what is new.
    Seeing the time that you Guys have been through and how easily he gets distracted as to tell a stranger that he would break up with you , I think you need to rethink.
    He obviously doesn't treasure you the way you do him.
    You will find someone who is better one day. Please do not doubt on yourself cuz of an assholes disloyalty.
    you're a beautiful person who deserves to be happy.

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    • And also if it is his words that put you at such doubt, you know a person can always lie. He never took an oath to always speak the truth.

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What Guys Said 3

  • It may have not been about you or what you did or didn't do. Keep in mind, cheaters cheat for selfish reasons, even when in otherwise fulfilling relationships, believe it or not: for sexual variety, for novelty, for excitement, etc.

    Don't blame yourself or equate your worth to his disloyalty. You simply didn't know him as well as you thought.

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  • it's not that you aren't good enough, he just didn't want you enough to not cheat on you, that and he probably got caught in the moment and his urges took over.

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  • Don't get back with him. Just don't, don't be an idiot because he'll just lie to you and cheat.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Betrayal is so painful, but his infidelity doesn't mean you aren't good enough, it's a reflection of his character... not yours. He told you he still loves you , but is that the type of love you want and feel you deserve? Personally, i would respect myself enough and walk away and love myself enough to move on from him. There's lots of nice loyal guys out there, who will treat you with love and respect

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