How did you handle your first/hardest rejection? Did you learn from it?

About a year and some change ago I experienced my first real rejection. I've been rejected by girls in the past, but it was more like "I have a bf" or "I like you, but I don't wanna ruin the friendship". Because of that it didn't hurt quite like the one a year ago did. While she did her best to be nice, she ended up hurting me real bad because she made me feel not good enough for her. I could've been too sensitive and overeacted but that's just how it happened. It took me awhile to get over her and I couldn't even have substantial feelings for anyone else, not because I was afraid of another rejection, but because I just emotionally and physically couldnt. Looking back I feel as if I learned some things from the experience like seeing her flaws, more people out there to meet, etc. But I feel like I didn't learn enough (not necessarily see it as a bad thing). So I ask you: How did you handle and learned from your first substantial rejection?


0|0
8|1

Most Helpful Girl

  • hmmm.

    I have two strong stories for you that woke me up to be the person I am today.

    18: I was naive, innocent, sweet girl. I never talked to boys my whole entire life. I was 18 and I guess I developed a huge crush for this guy. He was the teacher aid and everytime they would ask us to pass up notes or questions I'd write poetry or ask interesting questions and he would always get super excited about them (they were anonymous though so he never knew it was me). As a matter of fact, I was so shy I couldn't even look at him in the eye. My stomach ached anytime he came near me. I'd cry because my heart felt so attached to him. I really truly liked this guy and wanted to be with him. I resorted to asking one of my "older" female friends to help me. She said she will.
    Anyone down the line a month goes by and she comes and tells me that she's getting married to the guy. I was shattered. I wasn't necessarily rejected by the guy (he didn't even know me; and that was my fault) but simply because I was betrayed by someone I whole heartly trusted. The story has a lot of deep cuts but I won't go into it.

    20: I almost got married last year. Or I was planning to. I was planning to move to a different country, drop school, and everything to go and start a new life with my "future husband." He made promises and even met my dad and told him everything. I liked this guy a lot and made many sacrifices for him as well. Anyways, turns out he used me and didn't even care about our marriage; he told me that he would leave me for weeks alone in our home and that he thought about divorcing me even before we got married... I was so confused and heart broken because I was willing to do all these things for him and willing to become his wife only to be completely shut down.
    I ended up telling him that I can't marry him.
    Dude... ever since my life has completely changed. Now I don't even think about guys anymore. I focus on becoming someone that will bring goodness into this world. Sometimes I like to thank God for not allowing me to fall into those relationships; there is so much more potential to me then to simply be someone's wife or girlfriend. Sometimes you have to see these rejections as a blessingl to find your truest self.

    0|0
    0|0
    • There are plenty of great guys out there that'll love you and value you as a person, you will come across one soon.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Yeah, a damaged chick rejected me because she was looking for 9s and 10s to date, while I was only a 5 in her books. It did hurt a bit at that time, but I realised that I dodged a bullet because she had way too many issues.

    0|0
    0|0
Sponsored

Have an opinion?

0/2500

Send It!

What Girls Said 7

  • 4 years ago I got in a relationship with a guy, I fell in love and everything was great. It was my first true love and the longest relationship. We were together for 3 years, planning to get married. We never fought, we were very compatible and he seemed really happy and satisfied with me, he never complained about anything and neither did I. Then just one day, out of the blue, he tells me that he doesn't think that he loves me anymore, that he doesn't feel the spark and the excitement anymore, that he is curious about others and that I'm not the one. So he just dumped me. Just like that. Not red flags no nothing. It was the biggest slap in my face, the whole conversation lasted for like 10 mins top. From 3 years to 10 mins and everything changed. He didn't even apologized. What can I say... it's been a year now and I still pretty messed up. Haven't learned anything from it. Didn't gained any experience but pain and humiliation. It feels like all of it was pointless.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I've never felt truly bad about getting rejected. Most (all? Can't really remember) of the guys I've approached in my life, I didn't have any seriously deep feelings for. So whenever I've noticed my own interest for them, I would just approach them and ask them out ASAP. That way their rejections didn't hurt as badly because my feelings for them weren't very deep.
    Also I'm not really one to wallow in self-pity when someone doesn't express interest in me. I don't take it personally because it really isn't personal. You can't force someone to be attracted to you, and it doesn't mean you're not good enough when they aren't interested in you.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I wrote poems and saved them and they are great to look back on. To feel the moments fresh. And I sold done years later.

    0|0
    0|0
  • how did you overreact?

    0|0
    0|0
  • Rejection is so painful because it can lower your self-worth. I try to look on rejection as a redirection to someone better, even though it is so painful to accept, and unbearable to go through

    Just because someone fails to see your worth that doesn't mean your value goes down. It just means the person either failed to notice what you have to offer or they weren't ready for all you have to give

    0|0
    0|0
  • It just pass by and I just get used to it

    0|0
    0|0
  • How did she reject you was you ever together

    0|0
    0|0
    • It was more of a let's stay friends type of thing and we were never together.

What Guys Said 0

The only opinion from guys was selected the Most Helpful Opinion, but you can still contribute by sharing an opinion!

Loading...