How do you spend 7 years with someone then say you never loved them?

I have known my now ex for about 10 years and we dated for about 7. We lived together for 2 years, he was beginning to discuss marriage then he cheated on me and I left him he spent 4 months trying to get me back then went silent for a few weeks. Then he tells me that he was never in love with me. How in the hell do you spend that long with someone and not love them?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • He could be a soseopath and be incapable of love

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't know but it sounds like the only person he loves is himself.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • I think he's lying to you and to himself, but I could be wrong.

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  • It's either he never loved you , or he lost his love to you

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  • I could spend 5 life's with you and never have loved you trust

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What Girls Said 3

  • I'm sorry about what happened, though I'm not sure there's any correlation between your ex having cheated on you and the fact that you guys never exchanged an 'I love you'. I'm sure that, in your 7 years of dating, you at the very least felt the love coming from him.

    Some people simply feel more comfortable expressing their emotions, regardless of how strongly they feel them, via actions versus verbal affirmation.

    I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years now. We've also yet to exchange a single 'I love you' which sure, bothers me. However, I certainly feel that he loves me and just recently I learned that he's not a single time told even his parents that he loves them.. He's always made a point of being very respectful and speaking very highly of them so I guess that just goes to show that whether people voice their love or not can be a more cultural as well as personal thing versus a universal norm.

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    • No, he's been telling me he loved me for the past 8 years. Just now he's told me that he never actually loved me.

    • oh, my apologies for having misunderstood the question. I have no clue how someone could have spent just short of a decade with another only to later say they 'never loved them anyway'. I'd say he's likely just trying to save face.

      That he perhaps realized that he committed a royal fuck-up by cheating on you and figures that saving whatever bit of his dignity may be the only thing he could really do at this point?

  • His full of it and lying to him self.

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  • There's 3 possibilities.
    The first is pretty hard to be possible but if he never true ly loved you. That's one. However I don't think he'd go that long faking. This is mostly towards short relationship.
    Two, at some point he did love you, and then he fell out of love, which would explain cheating. If he wasn't happy, or became unsure about the commitment, he may have caught feelings for someone else even if it was in the spare of the moment thing.
    And third which is the most likely, he is in denial, you left him, he tried getting you back for months, and you wouldn't take him back. So whether he loved you or not (I'm going with he did) you rejecting hI'm so much, he's given up. But instead of admitting being heart break. He will try to break you by saying he never loved you. Which if that's true he's a horrible person.
    My now ex did the same thing to me, after almost 3 years he kissed someone else. The only difference is he left me. And was debating back and fourth on asking me take him back. He claimed I deserved better. But after confronting the girl, and finally go off on him for his behaviour, he got offended and went from saying I desrve better to that he's glade he doesn't love me and th hat I got played aka that he didn't really love me. I believe your ex did love you at some point and if after 4 months was still trying did still love you and regretted his decision. But now he's feeling hurt cause your not taking him back. Which now he's trying to hurt you. Make you hurt the way he hurts make you feel rejected. Which shows he doesn't love you the way he used to anymore. If he did he would still keep fighting or leave you be. To make your choices. But instead he's trying to bring you down now.

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