How can he go from wanting to commit to dumping me a few days later?

Been casually dating this guy for a year now. Recently I told him I wanted to be exclusive. He said he didn't so I was ready to move on and told him so. A few days later he tells me he wants to be monogamous with me. He loves me very much and his two kids like me as well. He was attentive and sweet and devoted in the weeks that followed him saying that. We spent most of last week together at his house, Sunday afternoon-Thursday morning, only for him to tell me Thursday afternoon that he didn't think we had the same temperaments and needs and that we were incompatible in some important areas and I have needs he doesn't meet and so we should end things. His heart was heavy but he said he felt stressed out around me the whole week. We are supposed to talk in a few days, he said I could ask him questions. I have not heard from him since Friday. How does he go from wanting to commit to just ending things so abruptly? I asked him that and he couldn't explain it well beyond putting the blame on me. (and yes I have stayed at his house before, this was not new)


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What Guys Said 1

  • he came back and said he wanted to be monogamous because he didn't want to lose you. but then he later realized that he still didn't want an exclusive relationship.

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What Girls Said 2

  • It sounds like his initial feelings on the issue were his true ones. He told you afterward that he wanted something monogamous because he missed you and knew that was the only way he could have you. After having you back, the reality of the situation and what he wanted set in again.

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  • Sorry if it's a little blunt but if you've been casually dating for a year and are not his girlfriend, he might have been using you for sex.
    Right now i'd advise you to keep your distance for a couple of weeks. Be happy and do the things you enjoy without him. Let him see the pictures on social media etc. but don't contact him. Let him know that you won't tolerate being treated in this way, and until he knows what he wants, you think it's best to have some time apart.

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