Girlfriend broke up with me yesterday after class. Still wants me in her life because supposedly I'm her best friend. Any advice on what to do?

To start it off we lasted 6 months. We knew eachother through middle school, all the way up until last semester of college when we really started to talk to eachother and become best friends. At some point I thought it would be a good idea to date her so I asked. She liked me and we hit things off. Her first and only relationship didn't end well, and it was recent (Rebound?). Anyways before I get to the reason why she broke up with me I'm trying to give the best perspective. It only happened yesterday but when I think back over all the things that have been happening lately, and the way she is been acting I can easily bring up the possibility that I was a rebound to her ex. She had health issues that played the deciding factor in not wanting to commit. She said she can't commit to our relationship or any other because she is not doing so well. I understand that. But she told me her health is a priority from the beginning and we should take it slow. I was there with her every step of the way, and now she drops this on me after six months. All she kept saying is that I deserve that someones gives me 100% and if she can't do that she doesn't want to be in a relationship at all. Also mentioning only seeing eachother one day a week as if that was our future. I could tell something was up because 2 days before she said nothing to me, and she was pretty distant with holding hands, kissing, and everything. I was pretty shocked to see how fast she went from doing all that stuff, to just wanting to be friends. Which makes me think this was just for her to fill some void. She assured me that it had nothing to do with me and that she still had attraction to me and loved me. I've heard that before. I feel like she did the classic its me not you excuse. I also told her now that its over she can tell me the truth of what is really going on but she gave me the same exact excuses. She said she still wants in her life. What should I do? (Updates to come)

  • Try to be friends and see how that goes.
    Vote A
  • Just move on and never talk to her again.
    Vote B
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I see the Sure Signs, @Sfuller15 of a Full Circle Problem Pattern of the Other who Once was a Significant Other... Of Wanting her Space, Not being in Real Relationship and Now, Simply Wants her Sweet cake and Eat It... Two.
    She wants it Both Ways on All of These "New" as now, so the Meat ball is Really in Your own Court with Not Courting her.
    If it Hurts too Much and Hard to Handle with Even Kid's gloves, No contact is Best from the Rest and just Civil Tonge... While still Young.
    Good luck. xx

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Honestly brother there on two different ways to look at this. I voted move on then I read a little bit more into it. On one end speaking from my past its really hard to be friends with a girl if you have feelings for her especially if you were in a relationship for 6 months. Ask yourself this in a month or two if she showed up to hangout with you or text you in the middle of the night asking for advice about a new guy. Could you handle that? I know for me it was hard to take that my friend was with some guy and she wasn't with me. With that being said you may be a lot stronger than I. On the other end of things you two have known each other and since middle school that isn't a small statistic. Being in a rhythm for that long is hard to break and you said she has health issues right? God forbid but if those issues get worse. What then ya know? I don't know her health situation is. I have a friend who was in a situation with a girl with health problems so you just always wanna look at it that way. Ask your self how that would affect you not just from one end of the spectrum but both. That will play a huge part either way If that's the way the dice are rolled. In closing I say try it out be her friend and see how it goes. There is nothing wrong with giving it that ole college try. Either way it goes down best of luck to ya brother!

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    • If ya wouldn't mind could you give my most recent question a look? I'm having a few women problems my self.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Oh, no. Drop her. Seriously. You're going to have a name set aside for yourself and you're going to constantly get hurt. Don't let her put you on the back burner.

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  • Well me and my boyfriend of 3years just broke up yesterday. I'm not taking it well but he also wants to be friends. I'm apparently his best friend and honestly I'd rather have that than have to walk past him in the halls everyday. I mean that'd kill me. But when it comes to me giving you advise if you are able to cut her off completely. Here's why; you are going to keep having the hope 'maybe she still loves me' coz she's still friends with you. Aswell as its going to keep you from moving on. If other girls you may start liking see you with her they'll not want to with you coz they won't want complications. And you will not let yourself fall in love if you still partly like this person. There won't be space for new people.

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What Guys Said 7

  • Sorry but you're already getting bad signals that you were likely a rebound, and it seems she wants the best of both worlds of having you for a rebound then as a friend to boost her ego.

    It's your choice if you want to stay, but I would just cut her out to avoid dragging things on.

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    • We still have class together and she said she still wants me in her life. My brother and my best friend told me just to walk away every time she talks to me and to move on while I still have my dignity. Should I tell her how I feel and cut ties or just ignore her completely?

    • Show All
    • You don't think its an option to convey the idea to her that I felt like a rebound and that I don't want to talk to her?

    • It won't change anything, and it doesn't seem worthwhile unless you're just looking for you own closure. I would just let it go.

  • 1. TELL HER that everything is fine and you'll be happy to stay friends with her.
    2. Cut all the attention, time and money you spent on her.
    Bring the relationship to 50-50 investment and see how she reacts. Trust me.. you're gonna have hell lot of fun. Ask me and i'll tell you more

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    • Everyone in my family is saying she did me cold to cut her off no questions asked. Fill me in a bit more on number 2? Im curious.

    • I'll explain. When do you drop your investment in something? When you're either getting no returns or when you're getting so much returns that dropping investment won't hurt much. Girls stop emotionally investing in a guy when she feels like she can still keep getting the attention/money/time and ego boost from you. That's what defines the 'perfectly fine' friendship for her which she doesn't 'want to ruin'. And you know what? Most of the guys are stupid enough to fall in that trap hoping that giving even more attention will bring her back. When you do the opposite of this and stop giving her the positive environment and ego boost, she feels that something is missing- her returns dropped! That makes her feel like she can't let her investment drop. This makes you look less like a doormat and more like an experienced and self-esteemed guy.

  • Just move on... You were a rebound and she used you. . that's Bad enough..
    And she is right your deserve better..
    But she already used you.. And now wants to be friends so that she can use you more...

    Better move on... And don't be in contact... Because it will be easy for her to move on but not you...
    You will get hurt... Just go no contact with her and cut her or of your life... Let her feel alone

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  • Say this to her "hey, if you can dump me as a boyfriend I think I can and should dump you as a friend"
    Show her the finger and walk off.

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  • Lol... run...

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  • Cut her out of your life. She doesn't deserve to have you around

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