He looked up divorce and dying?

I just opened craiglist (rarely do) to look up apts for us. When you click on a topic, the words change from blue to black. Under topics he had clicked on housing - then he clicked on divorce - then he clicked on death and dying. I know the sequence because I looked up the history. I wanted to see when he had looked it up. When had just watched a movie and were hanging out and I was too tired to finish the movie so I went to bed. He stayed on the computer for a little while longer, mere feet from me. And looked up divorce. A few days after this we sat and ordered new wedding rings, long awaited, and our 5 years dating/3 year wedding anniversary is next week. I am sick to my stomach. I am so hurt and confused. I have to wait another 3 or 4 hours until he is home to ask him and I just feel sick. Am I overreacting? Why would someone nonchalantly look into the divorce topic? Is this something he really wants? And the death part? We had a good night... I dont understand why he went to such a dark place, and with me only feet away sleeping... I am so hurt.


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What Guys Said 3

  • He has to be confronted, but don't be confrontational. Be open minded and simply ask him why he was looking that stuff up. It is critical that you not come across as confrontational or an ocean of drama will ensue. Simply state what you told us and that you accidentally discovered this. Do not ask "Why?" because that's a confrontational question. Instead, be more tangential and ask "Is there something wrong?" or "Is there something you want to talk about?" In this sense, you are being the supportive nonthreatening wife instead of the DA on Law & Order. He may actually have a legitimate reason for all of this. Yes, he needs to explain himself, but, at the same time, with an accusatory attacking tone, he will lie or clam-up.

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  • Yes you are overreacting. Especially when it comes to internet browsing history. You never know why and it doesn't mean anything. Maybe he seen a news headline or a random though just popped in his mind and he decided to look it up. It most likely meant nothing at all to him, just random curiosity. I get "lost" all the time on the internet, looking up the weirdest things sometimes just cause.

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  • You are 100% overreacting calm down. I look up dark shit all the time just for shits and giggles. At least talk to him (and unless you do want a divorce don't ask him in an accusatory way) about it before you have a freak out.

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    • thank you i hope you are right.

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