I broke up with my ex and immediately he is on Tinder talking to other women. He says he hasn't told anyone we broke up to avoid answering questions?

It has been a month since we broke up. We were in a relationship for a year and serious in talking about what we wanted for future. I met his whole family. There were a lot of reoccurring issues, all on my part. I had my doubts about things and did mention them. When I called the break up I was in a bad place. After all our planning for our future, when we broke up he actually said he felt relieved as he didn't have time for a relationship. He wanted to be on his own to pursue personal goals. Yet immediately he tells me he was on Tinder to meet people. Why say you don't have time for a relationship and want to be on your own but are on Tinder to find people. From what I know he is not just messaging on Tinder casually but exchanging numbers for personal conversations. Isn't this pursuing a relationship in another direction? Obviously I must not have meant that much to him if he doesn't feel a loss or is greiving, but quick to find someone new? How do you go from " we are stuck with each other for life" and talking about how we will be when we are 70, to trying to connect with new people so soon after breaking up?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It's possible he is looking for something without much commitment. I'm not sure why this upsets you, you're the one who broke up with him. As soon as you did that you lost the right to get upset. In a relationship you have to either stick it out or let them go, you can't just cling to him.

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    • Well I broke up with him then said I didn't want to and he wanted to. But yes I see your point.

    • You don't always get take-backs in life

Most Helpful Girl

  • He probably just wants to enjoy the newness of a romantic connection again.

    My older brother used to do that all the time before he found his current girlfriend. I think it's just because he enjoys the refreshed feeling of a new romantic experience/a clean slate of attraction. I also think it has something to do with patching up any "confidence leaks" after a long term relationship where some things may have been said or done that made him (or other guys) feel bad about themselves. A man's ego can be a very fragile, delicate thing and if it is cracked then they will often seek to repair it with the tits of another woman. Some guys just like the attention; it makes them feel hot and wanted. Don't sweat it. Legit connections typically don't happen so easily. The odds are that it's just romance games and nothing serious.

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    • Yes you are probably right. Still feels pretty crappy though, knowing your broke out of a relationship where you were planning the future and as soon as you break, they are quick to find someone new. Even if it is just flings, still makes you feel like insignificant.

    • I know it's rough but don't take it so personally. He's prolly just testing the water and I bet most of the water is cold and slimy, green algae creeps up on his wiggling toe.

    • What you must do is focus on you, yourself, improvements you'd like to make, and how you are going to get the life you desire.

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What Guys Said 5

  • Well, guys generally process emotional turmoil fater than women.

    Additionally, just because he is exchanging numbers doesn't mean he has replaced the relationship you two had.

    Finally, if you broke up with him, you should be overly concerned with his romantic intrests anyways.

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    • I guess what I was getting at was that if you are immediately trying to connect with others, then it really isn't that you don't have time for a relationship because you want to focus on personal goals. It seems like more of an excuse to get out of the relationship. A person who felt something about a relationship won't be so quick to look for someone else if personal goals are the priority.

  • Another one dumping somebody then being salty the dumpees don't grieve after them.
    Get over yourselves girls, please.

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    • haha that is funny :) I guess I thought everyone was more like me. I withdraw myself after a break up. I don't go looking for new people straight away. I just thought that is what everyone did when they lost something important to them

    • Female way of thinking maybe.
      If I had to assume anything about your ex it would be that he did get hurt (like everybody) sure he would brush it off because he is supposed to be manly, he doesn't want you to think it is a big deal because after all being dumped is insulting.
      Of course at the same time you also feel pretty shitty and think you are unlikable, which is why you would want to look for rebound relationship quickly to regain self esteem and confidence.

  • He's looking to hook-up and have fun... a NSA relationship.

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  • Hey.. he's your ex now.. ancient history.. move on.. obviously he has.

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  • Really? You're a serial cheater and you're upset he's on tinder? GTFO. Psychobitch.

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What Girls Said 1

  • I don't know, but this guy is putting you through the ringer. I would take a break from him as well. If it's meant to be, you'll reconnect in the future.

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