Just had my first breakup and I haven't caught my breath. Why is this so painful?

How am I supposed to ever get over this? I've spend the past year and a half of my life loving and giving my all to someone just to be told it wasn't going to work anymore. I'm devastated. Please someone help me through this. I don't know what to do next. I just want to crawl in a hole and cry for forever. I'm going to miss him so much.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I'd say it's hart part, you need to go spend time with friends, get fit doing some sport and try to get distracted from you friend, otherwise the pain will be much more than now. Currently I'm in this situation and it hurts me everyday since I think about her, we we're together for more than 4 years and it ended unexpectedly for me...

    Anyway you should continue your life, people are not objects they have soul and freedom to choose whether to be with someone or not, you can't force them to be with you, they need to feel it in order the love to be shared.
    Good luck!

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Just know that there is more to life, there are more guys out there, wonderful fantastic guys, just waiting for someone as amazing as you to come along. Let yourself move on. Don't hold onto this relationship, let it go. Remember it as a happy memory, but move on. Make new memories. You are strong and wonderful.

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    • I'm just scared. I'm 20 years old and this was my first relationship. It was a great relationship and the small arguments just added up and he had enough. I wish we could just work through it one last time. I would change whatever I needed to in order to keep him in my life. I'm not just losing a boyfriend, I'm losing my best friend. I hate this so much. I just want to be with him right now talking about all of this. I'm not ready to walk away. :(

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What Guys Said 10

  • I can understand, I hope I could comfort you. I just hope you will be ok.

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  • How long has it been since you broke up? Anyways, just know it takes a lot of time. You need to have a bunch of experiences, stories and have a heck lot of feelings in between to put your relationship completely behind you. One day, your memories will only be memories, and the nostalgia and feelings will pass.

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  • How old are you? It's simple. Time is the only cure. Your devastated now but in a week you won't think about It at much within a couple of months you won't think about it ever and soon after you will find someone else.

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    • I'm 20. I know it's going to get better eventually. It's just so hard to fully let go. I'm not ready at all. It just hurts so much.. I love him and can't imagine a life without him in it.

    • I would talk to you to help you buy unfortunately this site sucks when it comes to actual conversations. Just think your better off without him. You will do fine. I'm sure your gorgeous in sure you have other ways to spend your time

    • Thank you... It's just really hard. My biggest fear was to lose him and I just did. I just don't want to annoy my friends and family about this, so I got on this stupid website.. Because I just felt like I needed someone to talk to. I'm sorry. I just don't know what to do right now, I feel so lost and alone already.

  • its ok, its totally normal everyone's first break up is very hard and tough for them. just listen to some songs. and may be after some months you'll get over it.

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  • What did you do? Cheat?

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  • He probably left because your weakness is repulsive.

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    • thats rude!!! how cna u say that to a person!!! its u who is weak! putting on a front!

  • I'm going through the same thing after 2.5 years and an engagement, but I was the one to call it off because we were just too incompatible. I am devastated, because we still love each other, and she offered to wait for me...

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  • I know its a difficult situaition and its not easy. But I can garantee you one thing. You will be ok and you will get over it. Thats a fact.

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What Girls Said 5

  • I'm so sorry to hear this. Okay so you will have to be really patient with yourself. Take your time, cry and cry and cry some more. After a week or so you'll have to pick yourself up and start doing things. It will be extremely difficult to focus on other things but you'll have to find thing that will distract you. Surround yourself with close friends and family who will not only support you but can also be a distraction. Break all contact you have and do not, I repeat, DO NOT message, call or stalk him on social media. You have to completely get rid of any text messages between the two of you and all photos. What I usually do, is I put the presents and printed out photos in a box and hide it in my closet, or somewhere where I won't see it all the time. Then when you feel that you are ready to completely let go, you burn it. Remember that you are great and someone will appreciate everything about you one day. If he can't be with you through everything and he cannot give you 100% like you give him, you deserve better.

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    • Thank you. It's just so depressing. Like all I want is to hug him right now and not let go for a long time. I thought this was it. He's met every single person in my family, they all know how much I love him. We've literally not gone more that two days apart the entire past year and a half. I was so obsessed with him, which makes it so much harder. Just understand that I gave him everything. I was so good to him. It ended because I worried to much and had to have things proven to me all the time in order to fully trust. He was just tired of that. I don't know what I could do to get him to have a change in heart. I can change. I can be whatever he needs me to be. I just seriously feel like I can't be okay without him. :(

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    • Like right now all I want to do is fall asleep so I can stop thinking about it. That's the only way. But I can't sleep forever. I have so many pictures on my phone that I don't want to just delete.. And I don't know I just feel like this is seriously never going to get better. I just want him to call me and say he's sorry and for everything to be okay again :( This is worse than anything I've ever imagined. Losing him is like losing a part of me. I just really can't be strong right now no matter how hard I try. I haven't gone a day without talking to him since the day we met. This is awful. How can he honestly be okay with this... :(

    • Believe me I know exactly how you feel, and I'm so sorry to break it to you but he is not going to come back, he is not going to say sorry. But this is still very new, so you are allowed to be sad. Just don't waste a lot of time crying about him. I have been there and honestly the way I handled it (I had to go on medication for depression and lost a lot of weight, would go days without eating anything), well it was not only bad for me, but it hurt my friends and family. I guess they inspired me to get myself together. But you have to feel everything before you can start building yourself again. This is how we all grow and learn.

  • love is blind and painful
    woman to woman we have get over things like this. I'm going through the same and i cry but lately the tears are getting lesser and i always say out loud so i remember 'fuk em they wasn't really with me anyway' we have to remember to love ourselves again. and maybe stop being a boy hunter. its never good to get under someone to get over them.

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  • Just know it will get easier. I felt exactly the same as you last summer. So sad I thought I was going to die from it. Things get better and time heals all wounds. If you ever need someone to talk to, just pm me ❤️

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  • Everyone goes through a breakup.. It's time that makes you heal. Just remember that this ain't the end. There's more to life than just "a break up " .

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    • Is it possible that we could get back together after he said that it just wasn't working for him anymore? I just wish I could see a light in all of this. I just want to be next to him right now. I want to be in his arms and him telling me it's going to be okay. No one ever warned me how hard it is to lose someone that means the world to me.. This pain feels unbearable :(

    • I was like you 2 years ago.. my ex broke up with me and he told me he couldn't be with me... I've felt like the whole world fell.. I felt like I was never going to be happy. He was my everything. I invested my time and future with him.. But with time I healed.. And I'm over it. I always told myself I was never gonna find someone like him. Lie ) I actually found someone better than him..

      Don't let this get to you. You're still young.. I know how you feel , but you have to stay strong. Everything happens for a reason.. Tho you'll not understand this right now , but later on you will..

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