Should I cut my sons mother out of our lives?

She has been gone for 8 months without seeing our son (hes 2). Im 22 and a single father and desperately needs her help but she only gives me false promises. she lives an hour away but always tells me once she gets on her feet she will be back in his life. iv lost all hope bc she's not wanting to see him much less talk to him on the phone. and now she hardly texts me for updates on him. just recently she told me she is seeing someone and is pregnant by him. All I want is for my son to know his mother especially at his age.. but I coming to realize all he will have is me. is never talking to her again the best option? i feel it would help me to stop hating her


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Most Helpful Girl

  • NO!!! NEVER cut a mother out of her kids life! Unless of course she's a danger to the kid. You need to contact her family. Her parents im sure want to see their grandson!!! Schedule visitations for them. Her parents will more than likely get on her case about this & she'll probably start feeling guilt about it. She might have post pardon depression too, which in some cases makes the mother feel like she can't be around the kid. Talk about this and the chance of her having post pardom to her parents over the phone. Tell them that you don't want to exclude them from their grandsons life & want to keep them in it and would like help to get his mother back in his life. Unless there is a danger to a kid, cutting either parent out of his life is the worst thing you can do for a kid. Trust me. She might come back around, just talk to her parents and any siblings she has

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I wouldn't say to cut her out completely. Yes she may be completely screwed up at this point in her life I get that. Sort of went through the same thing myself, she may be unbalanced hormonally, bipolar, BPD, etc., you don't know that. It may take mess to get her back on track, or she hasn't grown up, maybe one day she will. You don't want your son to see you as the reason why he never had a relationship w his mom, as time goes on he will grow to realize that himself if she's still like that when he's old enough to understand. For now just let her know he's here w you, safe, well taken care of. I'd try to see about establishing sole custody legally so she can't just show up one day demanding to take him. I was like that for the first 8 years of my son's life. Similar situations, pregnant for someone else. Regardless of how screwed up she is she's always going to be his mother, you can't change that. Keep records of everything, if she stops by to see him, she gets him clothes, everything! Emails she may send in regards to him.

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What Girls Said 5

  • Cut her out. I hate to sound cold, but a lot of women are like this. Your son is better off with you, and maybe you'll find someone that can be an even greater mother than his biological one. It doesn't need to be now of course, but don't rule that out for yourself in the future.

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  • she's fucking out of order. You don't get your life back on track by getting pregnant for someone else. she must rally hate you and your two child to be acting like this. I'm not with my sons father but i wouldn't give him full custody to so I could live with my new boyfriend. I don't wanna say to cut her out but leave the door open i guess. you only have one mom and dad.

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  • This is a tough one.. I think you should keep your options open. Don't cut her out completely but lay down some rules with her like certain days she's allowed to see him etc. If she doesn't agree then threaten that you'll take her to court for full custody. Hopefully she gets back on her feet. If she can't be there for the kid she already has I don't understand why she's having another one. Good luck.

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  • See if she ain't interested... Chuck her.. she sounda like a toral whire. .. I appreciate u fr takn d responibility.. ur kid is lucky to hv a dad like u.. U deserve a better gal than her.. mayb tht gal wl tke care of ur baby to.. u cn tje ur prnts help too..

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  • I wouldn't stop talking to her. He may have questions later and want to meet her. I wouldn't reach out to her for while though, let her do all the reaching out until your son starts asking questions. Goodluck!

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What Guys Said 1

  • She doesn't deserve to be a mother, I feel sorry for the new baby she's bringing to this world, and I hope she doesn't leave him/her like she did with yours.

    As for your situation, 8 months is too much, I would recommend you to cut her out of your life, stop talking to her. She still has the right to see her son though, but you shouldn't talk to her unless she specifically says she wants to see him.
    Though a kid needs his mother, he can't have a mother like that.

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