If someone cheated on you would you be able to forgive them?

My now ex cheated on me... I found out... and now he is begging me to forgive him and come back. but another guy who liked me asked me out. WHAT DO I DO? TAKE HIM BACK OR MOVE ON?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I can't tell you what todo but I can tell you my similar story. Long story short My ex cheated. I lost my trust in her. I broke down and forgave her because she wanted me back so bad and I wasn't really enjoying being away from her. I spent weeks in a weird untrustful unhappy state because although I verbally forgave her I hadn't let go of it. We broke up and it created a several year cycle of break ups and make ups each time with both of trying to make things better. But my laCk of trust caused her to act differently which caused me to act differently which went back and fort until neither one of us could enjoy the relationship. The whole second half of my relationship with her was nothing but melancholy longing for what we once had trying so hard to get it back only to hurt each other more. Now we don't speak. The distance brought me to a point of real forgiveness but the last time although we were both in a better place ended with us walking away from each other pretty confident in the fact that we'd done everything we could and no matter what we wanted this wasn't the right thing. So moral of the story if you can't forgive him 100% don't take him back. You'll only do more damage. It's almost like putting a broken piece back into a machine and expecting it to work find when in reality you'll probably just break the piece more as well as the rest of the machine.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • No. I'm not going to waste my time on someone who can't handle that basic level of respect for our relationship. Likewise if, for whatever stupid reason, I decided to cheat I would not expect my partner to forgive me or to stay with me. I'd have to just make myself a better person for my next partner.

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What Guys Said 25

  • How do you feel about this other guy that asked? Which guy do you like more? You can forgive your boyfriend but the trust will take time to rebuild and it's not just going to happen. So if you're boyfriend is apologizing and willing to work on it then it really comes down to who you like more. If you like this other guy the cheating is the perfect reason to dump your boyfriend. For some people the trust never comes back. So you have to decide if your willing to forgive and work on the relationship (why did he cheat in the first place? What was missing from your relationship) or just move on? It's totally your call.

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  • I'd forgive them if they were truly sorry, but I couldn't see them anymore.

    Be by yourself for a bit. Then move on.

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  • Of course not. If they cheat, and you forgive, they'll cheat again cause they know you'll forgive them.
    Cheaters don't care if they're with you or if they don't, that's why they cheat. And they'll keep cheating until you stop taking them back.

    Move on, but don't accept the other guy's offer unless you actually like him... which doesn't seem like it.

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  • I've forgiven my ex.

    It took my 2 years, but I've come to see I was never going to marry the first girl I loved. So it really doesn't matter that she fucked a guy with a nicer car and fancier suit.

    I'd never date her again, though. Dating her and expecting my heart not to be broken would be like inviting a methhead to live in my apartment and expecting him not to bring any meth into the place.

    I think in a few years I'll start looking for 'the one' when I have the sweet job and the nice house in the suburbs. Until then, drunk sluts and Tinder hookups. :D

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  • No. Never!!. I will neither forgive them nor will I ever forget what happened.

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  • Dont forgive him. Find someone that actually wants to be with you. Go out on that date with the new guy and have fun. Leave your ex in the past. The fact he cheated means that somewhere inside he thinks its ok. Move on and find someone who is worth your time.

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  • forgive him but don't go back just move on. holding grudge against someone will make it harder to move on.
    moving on doesn't mean you should get dating the other guy just yet.
    take a break for a while and don't enter another relationship right away as your feelings are just fuzzy and mixing. don't do it as a revenge or as a rebound cause that way you will be ending up hurting the new guy.

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  • Don't take him back he had his chance, he only has himself to blame. If you pick him over the new guy then that would be a stupid decision in my opinion.

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  • Mankind is flawed and they are all cheats. If you forgive a cheater, you will end up catching an STD. Cheats usually do it because there is something they want and need in the bedroom that you will not give them so they look for it elsewhere. You need to think about things like that and then find the right guy.

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  • Move on, if someone does it once they can do it again!! Leave him for that other guy! Relationships are all about trust

    Answer mine?
    www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1940993-if-you-were-going-to-marry-me-would-you-sign-a-prenup

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  • Deny the other man first, you wouldn't want a rebound.
    Then decide if you wanna forgive your ex or not.

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  • I would never take someone who cheated on me back. Once you cheat the relationship is over permanently to me

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  • Don't forgive.

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  • Fuck him, what a twat.
    A cheater is a no good waste of breath.

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  • entirely depends on how/why/when she cheated

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  • I would never forgive a cheater. You should move on.

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  • Nope.

    Once they cheat, they are dead to me.

    Once a cheater, always a cheater.

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  • Yes.

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  • Nope. But then again, I've cheated :/

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  • Maybe i would forgive... but she propably pay a price then.

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  • No never not going to happen

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  • guys who cheat are hot, because they're in demand among other women.

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  • Why would you take him back? Cheated as in? Fuked another girl?

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    • no more like made out with another girl.. but i still consider that cheating

    • You need to break up with him. His loss

  • Move on

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  • take some time to yourself, last thing you want to do is rush in to something new, right away

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What Girls Said 21

  • NO! I am a very forgiving person, but my forgiveness doesn't extend to anyone who betrays me in any way. I have boundaries within a relationship and if anyone crosses them... i cut all ties with them. If they don't rise to my standards then i sure as hell am not gonna lower mine to theirs by giving them a second chance to hurt me again

    Trust is the foundation for every relationship , so how can you give someone a second chance when they have already given you one good reason not to trust them . Trusting people in general is one of the most difficult challenges in life, so I don't believe you can ever get the same level of trust back with a person who has betrayed.

    I value loyalty and i would never cheat on a guy , so I'd never accept less than i am willing to give. No matter how much i loved him i would cut all contact with him. Giving him a second chance is giving him your permission and the opportunity to do it again , because once a person cheats and you take them back you are setting your own standard of how they can treat you. Cheating will always be his potential.

    You have two choices... give him a second chance , or give yourself a better chance... with some other guy who values loyalty and who will respect you.

    You should respect yourself enough to walk away , and love yourself enough to move on from him.

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  • If you take him back you'll just show him that you're technically ok with him cheating, which would give him the green light to do it again. No point in taking someone back who's willing to do something like that to you. How could you ever trust him again? Not worth it. You'll just live in fear that he'll do it again, which is very likely if you take him back and essentially show him you're ok with it.
    Show him you're not ok with it by not accepting his offer and by moving on. You deserve better than that. You need to put your foot down. Don't let him take advantage of you.

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  • Nope I could never!

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  • Forgive him, but don't go back to him. If he cheated once, he'll cheat again.

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  • For me cheating is the same as a betraying a person who you love, as well as disrespect him/her. Would you be with someone who has betrayed you?

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  • Forgive? Yes, eventually. Forget? Not a chance. And since I wouldn't be able to trust him anymore, there would be no point taking him back.

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  • Nope, don't think so

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  • I did and it's hard - trust is an issue and I feel so insecure if he even just befriends a girl on Facebook now

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  • Nope!!

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  • Forgive but don't forget. Move on you don't need him.

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  • Move on. Once that trust is broken, it's incredibly difficult, if not impossible, to repair.

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  • I most likely wouldn't be able to

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  • I think you should move on. I know I would.

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  • Forgiveness is for yourself, not the other person. It's letting go of the hurt they caused you. You can forgive him but that doesn't mean you have to get back together with him. Stay single for a while.

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  • Depends. Usually yes.

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  • Let me tell you, cheating is the dumbest thing one can ever do. I cheated on my boyfriend and he got the symptoms to an std, I did not, and he blames me for giving him. Now I told the guy (my ex) that I cheated on my current boyfriend with and he too blamed me for him possibly having it.
    Moral of the story do not cheat, and if you forgive him and decides to take him back get tested before engaging in sex

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  • Move on. if your ex did it once he will probably do it again. you are no door mat respect yourself.

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  • Has your ex cheated on you before? How did your ex cheat on you? Was it with some random chick, a friend?
    Cheating to me is a huge no-no. I wouldn't take that person back. Because then they would just do it again. He'd A) have to prove his trustworthiness again-and that can take a looooong time, or B) I'd just move on. But not with someone else unless you're looking for a rebound, but that wouldn't be fair to the guy that likes you.

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  • Move on. Simple.

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  • You'd just be teaching him he has a magical touch on women he can just cheat and they'll forgive him. He'll carry this until someone teaches him otherwise.

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  • Its a toss up

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