I broke up with my girlfriend because I couldn't handle it. Am I wrong?

So long story short is everyone kept saying my ex-girlfriend was extremely dumb. One night we were having dinner with my parents, and she asked me out of no where "what year it was." So I responded while embarrassed "it is 2016." A couple of days ago she texted my sister saying it was extremely cold outside saying "It's supper (meaning super) cold outside it's like minus ten degrease (meaning degrees)." Last month my brother said she was really dumb and I defended her saying you just catch her at bad times. So he walked up to her and asked her to spell "here" as in "we are here" and she spelt it "hear." Last week she came to my house, slept over, and she left in the morning. She plugged her car in that night to have it turn over faster in the morning. Anyways she didn't unplug it when she drove off, and ended up destroying the outlet the cord was plugged into. This and various other little things she did just took their toll on me. So I ended it with her. Her friend saw me at the grocery store and said "you're a shallow piece of shit, and you're pathetic. You hurt my friend so bad!" She did this in front of everyone. I was so embarrased. So I just left the store. Am I a bad person? I feel terrible for what I did, but she just wouldn't stop acting so childish, and idiotic. I felt like her main accomplishment was to get drunk every chance she could.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • In order to be compatible, you need to have mental compatibility. You did her and yourself a favor. You will always be embarrassed w/her lack of smarts and she would always be upset that people you are w/would find her dumb. I'm not saying you didn't love her because I dated a guy who also would have embarrassed me in front of people I hang out w/ (he would put down people w/different political beliefs w/no reasoning why). She would never change and eventually you would resent her. Find someone who surfs on the same mental wavelength. Yeah at 1st you may brush it off, but that would just get old.

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What Girls Said 23

  • I used to be friends with a girl like this. She could never spell simple words. Even words like hopefully, she would spell it "hopualy".

    There's nothing wrong with not being able to spell. Lots of people can't. I'm not perfect either. But sometimes it is annoying.

    Now, I know myself I often misspell words and it's not because I can't spell them, often times its a simple typo or my phone changes words. Are you sure that wasn't happening to her?

    Anyway it just sounds like you two are not compatible. You are not a bad person, you just have a preference for someone who is better at English than she was.

    It's better to break up with her now, than to keep dating her and have it bug you forever.

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  • You weren't compatible. And being with someone that just grates on you isn't good for anyone, so her friend needs to mind her own business. She'll hurt for a while, but she'll meet someone new that won't mind her "dumb" qualities. And you'll meet someone that you're also more fitted with.

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  • I'm curious, did you love her at all? How did she qualify to become your girlfriend in the first place? How long were you together? Is she dyslexic?

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    • I loved and still do, but I want a partner not a child. I don't think she's mature. I was constantly taking care of her, and her problems without being able to rely on her. We were together for 2 years. I don't think she's dyslexic, because she could read without any difficulties.

  • Well did you ever wonder if there was an underlying issue? Like maybe she has a learning disorder? Not saying that you should've stayed for that reason, but it seems like you broke up with her not because of what you felt, but because you were embarrassed from what others were saying.

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  • Everyone has weaknesses... and it sounds like your weaknesses clashed.

    Some people can't spell. Other's are not very bright. Some people are immature. Some people don't have a sense of humor.

    Myself, I can handle a bad speller as long as you can make me laugh. Everyone has things that we like and dislike.

    When you broke up with her, did you tell her why? While I am generally in favor of honesty, that is most likely why her friend was mad.

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  • It sounds like you two were not compatible. Breakups are always hard, on both sides. It'll only get better from this point.

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  • Does she have a learning disorder? As in issues spelling words and understanding what people mean?

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    • I can't make fun of her for the car thing. Since my memory is bad when I'm distracted thanks to my adhd part of my disorder. So when I would wear my headphones while in a Skype call with my boyfriend. It ended up me forgetting how long the cord was and the headphones being yanked off my head or out of the computer. That's how most of mine got messed up. So I gave up on headphones with cords and sticking with wireless ones.

    • If she does have a learning disorder. Then yeah what you did is horribly brutal to her. I know if I had a dude break up with me because my disorder made me seem stupid to the dude. To where he was embarrassed to be seen with me. Honestly I would lose any self esteem I had and not want to have any contact with people ever again. So nobody can make fun of me for something I can't control and have struggled with my whole life.

  • You were not wrong to break up with her. No need is owed a relationship. Her level of intelligence was clear not attractive to you so why would you stay with her? All those little things were just gonna get more and more annoying as time went on.

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  • Honestly my first thought was that she's probably severely dyslexic.

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  • Man, do what you gotta do. Naturally she isn't going to be pleased, but your happiness is important too.

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  • From what you have said, it does sound like she is a dyslexic person. As a person who is dyslexic, I do find the fact you left her simply because of her disability, if she had one, is somewhat sad. I do hope when you break-up with her, that you did it easy. If I knew someone broke-up with me because of my disability, it would have crushed me when I was younger. However, I do not view you has a bad person.

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  • You're not a bad person; she was just too dumb. Her friend can go suck another cock

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  • Maturity and low IQ are different things.

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  • Just because you break up with someone doesn't make you a bad person or wrong. You can't stay with a person if you don't feel comfortable or happy. It's not your job to save the world or stop your life for another person. She wasn't a good match for you. Move on and be happy.

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  • I get all of the questions regarding a potential learning disability or other issue that is the cause of her seemingly lacking intellect.
    But honestly, it doesn't matter. You aren't obligated to stay with someone just because their off-putting behavior "isn't their fault". I am in the field of philosophy- I could easily argue that there is no distinction between that which is someone's fault and that which they cannot help due to a condition- it just depends on what we have distinguished and named and that which remains to be explained.
    I digress... the point is, you have nothing to feel bad about. If someone isn't working for you, they aren't working for you. You are not obligated to deal with them.

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  • I think you did the right thing, who on earth would want to stay with a drunk. Your free from all that now

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  • well obviously you didn't help her improve so I would say you aren't that great. but then again you did agree to date her and it was your decision. you couldn't handle it.

    my current boyfriend actually helps me and improves me, as i improve myself and cares.

    sometimes actually caring about a persons feelings is something parents should teach their kids.

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  • no. you're not wrong. it's her mind that would've eventually raised your kids. your intellect is obviously much better, therefore your genetic make up is better and you need someone on your level or higher.

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  • There is no fault with you. If you don't fit together, you don't fit together. Doesn't matter what anyone else things because they're not in the same situation. It would be worse to sit there miserable and stressed just to keep her happy

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  • I think you did the best thing for the both of you. Eventually you would have resented her and been unhappy. Which would cause her unhappiness. You guys wouldn't have lasted.

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  • You're not bad. She's a real idiot.

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  • Well its clear she's dumb, i mean if anything the whole random dinner question would of did it for me.. like really wtf.. what year is it? We are only in the 4th months of the year almost. And u asked that shit in front of my family. . lmfaoooo. . And the day I broke up would of been the day she drove off with the car still plugged in lmfaoooo. So, I think you did the right thing for you

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  • If you weren't happy with her then you were right to end it but her friends are going to stick up for her since they are dealing with the aftermath of the end of the relationship, just like I hope your friends would if the situation was reverse. Don't let the comments get to you, they are just trying to defend their friend, that's all.

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What Guys Said 10

  • You were incompatible. There is no shame in ending that relationship. In fact, you didn't string it out with false hope, or for sex or some other dumb guy reason.

    I, for one, commend you for ending it when you knew all the aces in the deck were gone.

    Now hopefully you lied proficiently to her on the real reason why you broke it off, but in the end, either way break ups are painful.

    If the store thing happens again, don't run from the person yelling at you. Just look at them in the eye, then look down and say in a quiet voice. "You only know half the story, and you don't know how much I hurt. I did what I had to do." THEN you leave. Do not expand on what you mean, and if they keep after you stand by refusing to answer. That reason is this. That is her friend and it's that friends job to hate you.

    Good luck with the rebound mate. Girls don't understand that sometimes it hurts being the dumper too.

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  • I wouldn't hold the bad spelling and the airheaded things she did against her. That doesn't necessarily mean she is dumb. The drinking part could bother me depending on how things were handled, etc. The only thing I maybe could have broken up with her for was the drinking. If you broke up with her for being an airhead, that's kinda mean but if the drinking bothered you, I could understand that. I can't say you're right or wrong, you did what you thought you needed to do. I would maybe talk to her and explain things and maybe she could explain some things too.

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  • No you weren't wrong. You were clearly incompatible, especially if your last sentence was truly how you saw her.

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  • Damn her friend is such a bitch. Props to you for not losing your cool on the friend cause if that were me I'm confrontational and would have yelled back especially if I didn't do anything wrong. You didn't do anything wrong too. She was too dumb and you couldn't hande it.

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  • Lol i guess you must not have patience. I think something small like that should not be bothered with

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  • no, you're not terrible. you drew a line in the sand requiring her to better her self. her friend's terrible for bullying you with public shaming. ultimately you're the one that's going to help her, and her friend is going to make her comfortable with being useless.

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  • Haha she sounds retarded to me honestly. Don't feel to bad man, but you shouldn't make a big deal over things maybe you could of helped her or suggested she could use some grammar practice lol

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  • No you are not... remember your girlfrnds friends will always defend her even if she had killed 5 people before..

    So don't stress it!

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  • Nope.

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  • If you really love her I don't think it's big issue

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