Husband dumped me 5 weeks after my dad died. I managed to find out he's been "chatting" with a female work colleague. Did he leave me for her?

They have talked in depth about how much of a git that I am. It's fantastic since she doesn't even know me.
My ex has beaten me, pinned me down, shoved me, berated me and the list goes on and on.
He has never supported me... EVER
and he spent the last 7 years (yes, 7 years) withholding sex.
i ended up having an affair because I was so bloody miserable and actually wanted to run off with somebody and because I was sick to death of finding him "texting" other women.
this is the 3rd time he has said he "longed for someone"
i don't know why I didn't leave the 1st time he emotionally cheated (maybe more) as it was so difficult reading about me being a mental case, how our kids were crap to him and how he wished he had never had them.
He said he was "living the dream" and that he "wished they could have been a we"
why did he abandon us 5 weeks after my dad died and why has he said absolutely sod all to me in 10 months since he left us? Any ideas?


0|0

Most Helpful Guy

  • Never supported you... EVER. That was the indicator from the start that you should not get married. Why would you marry someone who did not support you?

    Beaten you, pinned you down, berated you... All things that should have had you thinking of leaving. Combined... definitely you should have left him long ago.

    Withheld sex for 7 years... You should already be divorced for 7 years and have forgotten him by now.

    He is calling you a mental case and your kids crap... You should have left him long ago.

    Why are you with him still; why are you looking for answers about why he abandoned you; and why do you care that he has not been talking to you?

    You should have gotten a lawyer and divorced, with support and child payments, long ago. So do it now.

    3|0
    0|0

Most Helpful Girl

  • I honestly will NEVER EVER understand why people like this don't seperate/divorce after the first few times. Anyways...
    Why did he abandon you? Maybe because he's an abusive piece of shit who never loved you in the first place. I mean wtf? How is that not obvious at this point?

    1|0
    0|0

What Guys Said 6

  • I highly recommend that you seek counseling with a therapist. You seem to be addicted to pain or being abused. But I digress. Your husband left you because he probably felt trapped, and he felt like the whole world is on his shoulder. Your father dying, I'm sorry for your loss, probably put him into a frenzy because he assumed you would be very emotionally unstable requiring more from him.

    2|0
    0|0
    • He never felt trapped, he felt in control. That was until I saw him for the man he was.
      I wasn't putting up with his silent treatment anymore. I wasn't putting up with his constant flirting with other women anymore.
      I wasn't putting up with him calling me mental anymore.
      I wasn't putting up with him only taking one child out with him at a time instead of both anymore.
      I wasn't putting up with him saying "you have eyes and a mirror" when I asked if I looked OK, anymore.
      I wasn't believing he started work 3 hours early anymore. He was cheating on me with the girl at work
      I wasn't allowing him control. That was it

    • I hope that you leave him and stay away from him.

  • You're much better off without this poor excuse for a man. Don't be afraid of going it alone. So many women would rather stay in an abusive relationship rather than be alone. You are worth much more than this. Go find a decent guy that will make you into the happy, contented lady you should be. Don't take any more crap. Just walk away. No need to explain your actions. He'll know why.

    2|0
    0|0
  • You haven't been devoted to him so why should you expect him to have any sense of devotion or loyalty to you? You listed a few very strong reasons why no woman would want this man, so why did you stay with him?

    0|1
    0|0
  • ... this situation is fucked up. Best you just move on and don't think about it at all. Have a clean slate.

    1|0
    0|0
  • I'm not sure how to respond to it. When does it happened. I'm sorry for your lose.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Sounds like you guys need an amicable divorce, just get away from each other.

    0|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 4

  • Don't look back. I know it's hard. You should also see a counselor. I think your ex has problems and after the abuse, you probably could benefit from some help.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Because he's an ass? I mean that's pretty obvious at this point, so why are you even asking this? If he's so bad for you, if he's so abusive, if you know just how much of a terrible human being he is, then why do you even care? The answer to your question is within the actual text you wrote yourself. Are you even surprised?

    2|0
    0|0
  • I find it amazing that u still care about him. What does he have to do for u to hate him? Pour acid on ur face? Gather ur self esteem and thank God for this huge blessing , that he's out of ur life and can no longer devalue u.

    1|0
    0|0
  • He's not meant to be with you since he's an asshole

    0|0
    0|0
Loading...