How did you get over your first love?

It's been 6 months since my break up. I'm really torn up about it. My ex still ignores me, is rude to me, he stares at me when he thinks I'm not paying attention, and likes to do things to upset me/punish me if he sees guys coming up to me that are interested. He was the one who decided not to continue things and has since treated me like I did something wrong to him. He won't talk about it or talk to me but he continues to treat me like he has ownership over me. He won't give me closure and he continually tries to hurt me. I just don't understand.

I keep telling myself that there is someone better out there for me and that I never loved him, but then I think of the tender memories we had and I know that I did love him- even if I didn't ever get the chance to tell him. Ever since the break up, I've seen my ex at least twice a week and will probably continue to see him. How am I supposed to get over him? I've tried everything but it seems like I keep coming full circle and hurting inside. How am I supposed to let go with so much unfinished business? How am I supposed to stop caring and loving someone who clearly didn't care about me enough to want to work through things? When does it stop hurting? When will I stop wanting to text my ex just to hear from him?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • From my viewpoint of being a guy I can still relate. I had an ex-girlfriend who trashed me after it didn't work out for no good reason at all. So when someone does that, it is THEIR problem and not yours. And their not giving you closure is kind of cruel on their part. Best thing is to learn from their bad deeds and not do the same. (Although you are probably of a higher mind than him and wouldn't do that anyway.) I know it is hard to forget it all, I've been there done that. Maybe we don't really need closure? I don't know the answer. Meet new people, try new things. Enjoy life and your interests. Under what circumstances do you run into him? Maybe tell him to "take a hike" if he comes around.

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    • We're both part of a college orchestra. It has its own orchestra room where members can hang out to socialize or do work. I considered dropping out of it for some time because he would take every chance to hurt me by doing the aforementioned but I didn't want to give up playing an instrument (something that I enjoy) because of him so I stayed. He likes to flirt with one girl whenever he knows I'm walking behind him and whenever I pass him he leaves the girl and follows me to listen in on my conversations. So I've had to deal with stuff like that. He won't talk to me and will intentionally get up, leave the room, or ignore me if he sees that Im paying attention to him but if I ignore him he will linger around me and stare at me or will stand in front of me until I notice that he's there then he gives me his back. It's all very immature and drives me crazy (though I try not to show it).

    • Yeah gee the guy is really being childish. Well part of your closure will be knowing that he is a dork and that you wouldn't like him in the long run anyway. LOL... I feel sorry for you because I've been in similar situations.

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What Guys Said 1

  • I never had my first love!. I have never been in love.

    However I don't really understand why your ex will behave like that even after 6 months of break up? that's really strange, it's like he is determined not to let you move on.

    For your second para, I don't know what to say really, emotions and feelings are really strange, I can understand it's hard for you, but then only you can control your emotions and feelings. I think one reason why you feel this way is because you never got the actual closure that you deserved.

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What Girls Said 2

  • I tried to focus on myself and my schoolwork, and just act like he didn't exist. What really helped me was distracting myself from him and looking away whenever he tried to make eye contact with me. I deleted and blocked him number and blocked him off of every social media account I had him on. It just takes time. You will stop eventually, find a new hobby, hang out with your friends, etc. Keep yourself busy so you won't be thinking about him. Trust me I know its hard but it'll be worth it in the long run. After I stopped seeing him less and less that's how I grew slowly unattached to him.

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  • well, he clearly didn't get over you and thats why he doing the things he's doing cuz he feels you moving on cuz boys keep going up to you and he's getting jealous , i feel he still wants you to be honest.

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    • Why won't he try talking to me if he still wants me? Honestly, if he'd only put some effort into talking to me or being nice, I'd be open to talking to him. My friends say that he's just really prideful and feels like he's made a mess of things and doesn't know how to come back to me. But, he hasn't even tried talking to me at all.

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