Guys/Gals: I need help. I am having hard time getting over him! Any advice or opinions?

I hope I don't get judged for asking this again but it's really just tough because I really LIKE him :(
I have gone on dates with this guy, a successful 4 dates total. In between those dates also were some flakiness here and there which is somewhat of a red flag.

1st bail - he said he wasn't feeling well.. I let it pass it sounded like a hangover.
2nd bail- we planned something and on the day OF, he never followed through! So it didn't happen.
3rd bail- He cancelled and wanted the next day instead. Because apparently, he has a killer headache and just wanted to relax.
4th bail- It was a Thursday after work that we scheduled, but he said he didn't have much energy and a Sunday would be much more fun instead.
excuses. excuses!

after that 4th bail, I cussed him out, "You have bailed on me 4 F**** times in a row. No one has ever done that to me... You proved enough that you don't respect my time and you're just not a serious guy. Now you want to reschedule? are you crazy? It's done."

His response: "I am truly sorry for everything and upsetting you. I won't bother you again. I wish you all the best."

is there still a chance for reconciliation on his end? I know I am open to it ONLY if he reaches out to me first, because there is no way ON EARTH, I am making the first move.


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What Guys Said 3

  • He's not interested babe. 4th bail. . . seriously? Any hope after the 2nd bail, is, in my opinion, usually desperation.

    plus, guy sounds like a fuckin' pussy. Who leads someone on like that? You really want to be with someone who leads people on, especially to that extent?

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    • Then why reschedule after the cancel?
      He even came back after I dropped him and apologized and even said that he wants another chance to prove he can be a good BF?

      I don't get it

    • I have no clue.

      This is how it should have worked after "1st bail."

      If he said he wasn't feeling when you called him or whatever, then the ball was in HIS court; once he felt better, he should have called you. If you called him a few days after that, then, in book, that looks desperate on your end as HE should have been the one contacting you, not vice-versa.

      Maybe you're desperate, I'm not judging you if you are--I'm just letting you how I perceive things. (or maybe, in your head, you're thinking, "he's just this worth it," in which case, I might ask you, really?)

      cheers : )

    • No- all his cancels , he was the one that reschedule and initiated for a make up date.

      Haha I agree, I'm just so damn attracted to him :(
      I know I need to let go but it's soooo hard.

  • Chances are low. You ended things, so the ball is in your court now. If you want him back, you'll have to ask for him back.
    Trust me, I've been in your shoes. Ended the relationship, sort of wanter her back, but knew I would have to be the one to make the next move. Fortunately, I realized she wasn't right for me, so I wasn't too conflicted.

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    • Yes I ended it but I mean I had every reason?
      The fact that he said "I wish you all the best" was like a bye?

      I'm trying to stay strong, I think it's his fault though... you don't agree?

    • I wish you all the best = I'm sorry it didn't work out, I hope things go well for you. So yes, it is like a goodbye.

      I certainly do agree that you had every reason to end things. However, that doesn't mean that he will think that he should contact you.
      If anything, he's probably saying to himself, "She ended it, so if she wanted to try again she would call me."

    • Sooooooo mean :(

  • he's not interested.

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    • That's so harsh!
      Anyways, what made you say that?

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    • I understand, but what threw everything off is the fact that he said "so what do you say.. I get one more chance that I can prove to you I can be a good boyfriend. I'm on 2 strikes. I say you give me until 3 strikes." Unless that text wasn't meant for me, then he led me on!! But still he message this to me on my FB and text. So what the hell?

    • now you're hoping a text or two wasn't meant for you? you should listen to how desperate you are to give him the benefit of the doubt.

      don't expect much. good luck

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