I kissed a girl, I have no excuse, I love my fiancé but she says she will never trust me again and it's over. What should I do?

I have already asked but could use more.

The two of us have been together for six years. I am 32 and she is 36. She has 3 children from her previous relationship but to me, her and the kids I am their father. I love them and treat them as if they were mine. They call me dad and I see them almost everyday since the break up. Previous to the break up we had a great relationship. We were both deeply inlove with each other with minimal problems (or at least we both thought). We have small arguments about finance and children discipline just as any other relationship. Over the past three years I have been going to school and taking care of the children as a stay home dad. I recieved my degree in criminal just and recently graduated from the police academy. Over the past 6 months I have been unemployed and looking for a job. I recently got the opportunity to work with the Coast guard and have a interview next week with another agency.

We both quit drinking around 3 years ago and at the begining I was doing well, although I occasionly would stop for a beer once in a while. While in the acedemy I didn't drink and when I first returned home I was sober for a while.. I love my kids and my family but had some troubles with being a stay at home dad. I just wanted to work. April 11 I went out and Had a drink by myself and ended up having more then one. I women across the bar came and sat next to me and begun to talk. We spoke for an hour and she seemed intrested in my stories was easy to talk to. She was not attractive was just easy to talk to. after another two hours I relized I needed to go home she followed me out to my car and kissed me and I kissed back. At this time my fiancé pulled up to see this all happening next to my jeep. As she pulled up and called my name I was stunned. "what just happened" my finace pulled away and I stood there stunned as the women continued to stand with me holding my hand. My fiance pulled back around to see this and was furious.

Updates:

I went home to her angry and she asked me to get my stuff and move out. She packed me a bag and I went to a hotel. Since then I went to visit my mother in Cali to give her space but still called about every three days and we argued.
I apologized and told her I know what I did was wrong and I have no excuse. I am sorry and have told her over and over. She asked me for space wich I am not the best at giving and I have tried. Upon my return (3 weeks later) she asked me to remove my name from any and all finances and lease we had together. I stayed at a close hotel to be close to the kids and see them everyday.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • If you love her give her what she wants and let her go. Dont make it harder on her.

    Imagine if you saw her kissing and holding hands with another guy. wouldn't your mind be racing? wouldn't that be devestating?

    Nothing you say is going to make her trust you again. Nor does it feel good to not be trusted in a relationship. This one, can't be repaired.

    Perhaps it just wasn't meant to be. Maybe this is a learning opportunity for you. You had ahat sound like a deep conversation with a stranger for an hour. That 60 minutes of time that you could've stopped and thought where this interaction could lead to. Then this women walk you out. Another red flag you couldve stopped. Then kisses you - a third opportunity you couldve backed out but didn't!

    Maybe next time you'll stop situations like these before they get this far. Maybe now you'll also finally address your drinking habits as this is where it lead you. And lastly - in your next relationship maybe you'll actually discuss you personal issuesvwith your spouse and work on them as a team instead of a stranger.

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    • P. s. I'm not to give you a hard time. Just trying to wake you up - get you thinking about your options.

    • I don't want another option. She is my everything and I regret the entire situation. I do love her and I know thats hard to believe after what I have done but I can't quit on our love. We had such an amazing life together as partners and parents. She meens the world to me and I have felt sick to stomach for the last month and a half. I can't listen to music or watch movies without thinking about her. I know you think there is no chnace of her trusting me but I believe in true love and NO seems to be the one. I dont want to date I dont want to go out. I just want to proove to her I am the man she fell in love with six years ago who screwed up and would never do this again.

    • But she's done with it as far as i can tell even if she still loves you. Which means trying to win her back is only going to drag both your hearts in the mud. It could even make her more disgusted with you because you're not respecting her needs.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Well it's over cause is she forget trust you then no point in the relationship...

    I think you should show her that you have changed over the period of time.. And she might true you back... But I think it's over as she did she would never trust you

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What Girls Said 3

  • I remember your last question. It's so obvious you love her and her kids. It's obvious too that you are deeply sorry and regret what you did but, trust is the foundation for every relationship. When someone betrays your trust you can never get the same level of trust back as you had before.

    Trust needs to be earned , but how can you earn her trust after you've already given her one good reason not to trust you again. It's virtually impossible to rebuild trust after a betrayal

    Betrayal is so painful, so I'd never forgive anyone who betrayed my trust, coz I'd never give them a second opportunity to hurt me that much again. You made a wrong choice, and with every wrong choice comes consequences.

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  • Just keep trying to talk to her put your self in her shoes what would you have done how would you feel just tell her what you think and that's about all you can do. I hope it works out

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  • What do you do? Live up to your mistake and give her what she wants. You cheated. That's the end.

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    • she still has told me she still loves me. She not sure its me she wants yet. or doesn't want.

    • Well feelings don't go away in the blink of an eye. But you still did cheat. You're just going to have to wait.

What Guys Said 1

  • Well, you have broken her faith, her trust in you and it seems like it's over. She might forgive you with time but she wouldn't want to be with you anymore.

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