How do you love yourself when people keep mistreating, and abandoning you?

My ex recently dumped me and blocked me on FB. He told me he didn't love me anymore, move on, we're through. I couldn't believe it and I still can't. I have my flaws but I'm still a good woman or so I thought. I always supported him and I never judged him for his circumstances. I felt and still feel he has potential. He didn't have a car so I always went to see him, I gave him money, and brought him food. I included him in my family activities and invited him out with my friends. When he lost his apartment and couldn't find a job I supported him. I wasn't perfect. I have horrid trust issues but he didn't make them any better. I often felt neglected and unappreciated. Sometimes I hardly felt like I had a boyfriend. He flaunted me in public and around his friends but NEVER mentioned me on Facebook. We dated 6 months and he only changed his relationship status in last month! He NEVER liked any of my photos on FB but constantly liked nasty pictures of other women (got off to them too!). He always prioritized his friends and family over me. He didn't communicate, wasn't always honest, and ignored me when he was pissed. He's the second guy I loved whole-heartedly who used me and abandoned me. I begged and pleaded for both of them to stay. What's worse I that I keep hoping my ex will change his mind!!! It really hurts and I feel miserable. I don't feel good enough for anyone. I can never seem to find an attractive man who respects me and I never get hit on. I feel like I can never win. How do I love myself or find confidence in situations like these? How do I make sure this doesn't happen again?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It's a long process... I'm helping a couple friends with that right now actually. You have to learn to love yourself for who you are and where you are, then you won't feel the need to be validated by others. It's far too much to go over on here, but you have to learn to stop yourself when you're thinking negatively and turn them into positives. Eventually seeing yourself in that light will become natural. I used to be insecure and very unconfident. I've completely changed that now. Took a couple years though. I'm not sure if that helps at all, but I hope so.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • You should love yourself because no one will do that for you !
    Loving yourself means also taking care of yourself and stand up for yourself.
    You are being too kind and some people will use you for that!
    Learn from your mistakes.. don't give them money , don't "chase" them if they are not so interested and don't meet them more than half way.
    If someone truly loves you he WILL put effort in it!
    You deserve someone better.
    You are giving more than you are getting back and that's a big mistake.
    Also your attitude is important, if you make them feel like you can't live without them they will pick up on that and will use you too.
    Never ever chase a guy ! he's not worth it trust me.
    love is great but like with every relationship it's a two way street.
    Don't jump in a relationship quickly but wait and take your time.
    With time you will know if someone is truly interested in you.

    Other than that LOVE yourself !
    No human is better than the other and your time is precious too so why waste it on assholes?
    If a guy leaves you well it's his loss coz you provided him with love , attention , money.. pretty much your heart.
    Someday they will realize tgey were jerks.
    Just do things you love and travel maybe you will meet new people and one thing can lead to another thing ;)
    enjoy your life it's too short to waste your time on people that don't care.

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What Guys Said 1

  • HAY no car no money no job... man you're young you can find way better then him.. But you be worth it to.. its funny but sometime we kick our own butts with how we think about ourselves your young just wright it off as experance a try to learn from it

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What Girls Said 1

  • Girl give yourself time to realize you dated an ass and it wasn't you it was him. Fuck boys like him do this all the time. Try to make you feel less when in reality they are the ones unworthy. It's their way of keeping you low so you won't leave them and get with a real king.

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