How am I supposed to get over my first love? Does it go away? What do you do?

It's been 7 months since our break up. He hasn't contacted me in any shape or form and he has refused to give me closure. The break up was confusing and he really just broke my heart. I've somewhat made progress in trying to make myself whole again and finding my own closure, but I find that it hits me in waves of how sad I am about the way things ended and the way he treated me afterwards. It hurts so much and I just don't understand. I've asked people how to move on and they say for me to just let go. How am I supposed to do that? We made each other happy and he just ended things without wanting to work through anything. I don't know what to do with myself. I dream about him everyday, a day hasn't gone by when I haven't thought of him. I just miss him and I don't know how to stop missing him. I keep hoping he will come back to me. How do I accept that the relationship is over?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Just letting go is half assed advice. "Oh, I am supposed to move on? Oh, okay no problem that is what I am doing wrong, I will just do that now!" Lol. I remember when I got out of a long term relationship, it is very hard and it takes time to get over. For us, we were fighting a lot and not getting along at all, so it was gradual and by the time it ended I knew it was over. However, that was over 5 years ago and I still thought about him a lot and we would text once a year or so to catch up and I JUST got closure a few months ago. He has three kids and is now separated from his wife, he tried hanging out again but then also tried to get me to send him pics of me after 7 years of not seeing him he thought I would just send pics! I was like, "Ew, he is just like every other douche out there" and I spent years wondering about him and if we would ever see each other again, but that made me realize that I thought of him so differently and he is just like the rest of the guys I have been dealing with since. So, with that being said, you are now thinking of all the good times you had, but think about the bad and the realistic. He didn't even want to try working things out with you! He didn't even care enough after all the time you were dating to do that, don't be sad about that use it as a wake up call. Also, you are so young! The chances of a relationship working out forever at your age is also not very likely, you might have a few more relationships before you meet the one you marry. There is not much that can make it better except for time unfortunately. But I promise you WILL get there one day. It might take you dating someone else or him dating someone else before accepting it is over, but also, after more and more time you will realize it really is over. Like you said, it is in waves now. And the sad waves will be less and less frequent and the happy ones will be longer and longer. I think at this point you are exactly where you should be in getting over him. You are not constantly sad anymore, but it will still hit you like you said, from time to time, but that will happen less and less. You are doing just fine in progress and will just have to wait for more time to pass.

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What Guys Said 2

  • No, your first love never actually goes away, the feeling never fades away fully,. Your first love always remains inside you

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    • So true always hard and you will always feel the pain from time to time but that's mainly just nostalgic thoughts

  • Accept that you are over not nessesaarily for good but the past relationship is over if you get back toegether it's a new one focus on yourself

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What Girls Said 1

  • It take time to heal 😔. Good luck! ☺️

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