I have anger, resentment and sometimes hate toward my ex. Why? How do I get rid of these feelings?

I hatee feeling these negative, angry, down spiral emotions!
Last time I felt them was when I was 12 at my bff then and we had stop talking for 3 months.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Focus on yourself. You weren't perfect in that relationship, either. So, start looking at your behavior, attitude, actions, and stuff like this. Be honest with yourself and start making adjustments. At the end of the day, YOU are the only thing YOU have; relationships and experiences are just a reflection of who you are. So, why not seize the opportunity to learn about yourself and possibly improve your personality?

    That's how I usually get over break-ups (or loss in general). Good luck to ya. : )

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    • I have and I do. And I don't feel these negative feelings all the time (I feel them 10% of the time, but when I do, they are very strong negative emotions). On the usual, I have very positive emotions about my ex and I miss my ex at times - and even when I am angry, I wish the best.
      I am focusing on myself. I acknowledge and accept my role in the breaking up to the relationship. Both of us fucked up, but when I don't hear from them and every now and then, I have really angry feelings... and I don't want to feel this way.

      I am the personal development guru ;) (at least I consider myself that), but this is something I am still battling with. I never really had these feelings before, but I do now at times. We broke up 1,4 yr ago and we were together for 4,5 years - living together.

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    • Haha, thank you... And yes, you are probably right and this is just part of the process. I just really don't like having or feeling these negative emotions... They are really not nice to feel.
      But you are def right. I will try.

      Thank you for your response! I appreciate it :)

    • Well, negativity is part of life and I doubt we can eliminate it completely. Annnnd, you are welcome. I am glad I helped. : )

Most Helpful Girl

  • How long has it been since you and your ex broke up?

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    • 1,4 yr ago and we were together for 4,5 years - living together. I don't feel these negative feelings all the time (I feel them 10% of the time, but when I do, they are very strong negative emotions). For the most part, I have very positive emotions about my ex and I miss my ex at times - and even when I am angry, I still wish the best for my best.
      I am focusing on myself. I acknowledge and accept my role in the breaking up to the relationship. Both of us fucked up, but when I don't hear from my ex for a while- and every now and then, I have really angry feelings... and I don't want to feel this way. (We are still sort of 'friends' ... But I guess it is all just BULLSHIT cuz we aren't even, we barely talk but when we do.. we are GOOD.)
      I am very focused on moving on and personal development but this is something I am still battling with. I never really had these feelings before, but I do now at times. And I want to get rid of them...

    • I think for you it might feel like those feelings are felt towards your ex, but I think it is just anger because maybe you know that it was a relationship that could've worked out, that maybe you wanted more than anything to work out, that failed. And eventually you have to start over again and go through everything with another person. It is perfectly normal to feel anger and resentment at some point. I still feel it sometimes, but it becomes less strong. I don't think you should consider your ex a friend, he's an ex and that is it. You've been together too long to be friends after only being broken up for little more over a year.

    • :( You're right.. .
      Thanks for your response. I appreciate it...

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