How do I get back my ex boyfriend that dumped me?

Question

In the beginning of everything I didn't want anything with him, I wasn't ready for a relationship and I didn't like him. But we stayed as friends and then I decided to put my guards down and let him in my life. Wow, What a beautiful experience. 3 months together.

This was the first relationship that I had with a such independent person, He's 27 years old, lives by himself and manages all his bills and cars. I'm 22 years old and just graduated from college. I felt really free with him, comfortable and so damn happy. He was crazy about me.

I got used to him and really attached why? I just moved to Chicago and his not all I have but part because my cousins are his friends and we have the same friends.

He told me that he didn't know if he wanted to be with me or not. So, we started talking about it, and he said lets think about it. He broke up with me because he said he wasn't feeling, not anything but like stuck. We both cried, he said he's scared cause I'm a great girl, perfect girlfriend, great family, and it sucks that he doesn't feel that way. So, after that I didn't call him or looked for him. So 3 days later after the break up, he calls me and says " OHHH now that your single you don't call me or text me? what have you been up too? what's new? you know making conversation. Then he called me again 2 days after that, I didn't pick up.

The next day he calls again, I pick up. He says: I can't believe ur being a hypocrite with me, I didn't do nothing wrong, Why you don't pick up my calls? If I have a guy in my life to let him know. So I said; I'm not mad at you there is no reason to and I'm not dating cause I'm not over you yet.

Well, after that we might have had short conversation by text, then a week after My car broke down, so I called him. We spent the whole day together, had dinner, went to his house, had dinner and a restaurant, then went to a get together of our friend in common. WE HAD SO MUCH FUN TOGETHER!. We laughed, he talked to me about his life, what he has been doing, he brought me a gift from NY that he went when we weren't that good in the relationship. And I was like why you brought me a gift? He said I'm not that big of an asshole. I was shocked. Nothing, after that I left the get together with my cousin, an I text him saying thanks for helping me with my car and he was like ohh you left? I said yes.. and he was like oh ok sorry. cool.

The next day day we saw each other in a game of softball and were all together jut chilling. he said hi and the beginning and I said goodbye. etc.

The day after, he texts me too see hows everything going? I made conversation with him about 10 min. I MISS HIM LIKE CRAZY, I can't concentrate anymore, I can't breathe like I used to, and he took my smile away. the real reason he broke up with me he told my cousin that he felt fed up with our relationship with all my calling and jealousy for him going out with friends.

So he does feel and care!, I want him back! HELP ASAP

matejaleon · Accepted Answer

This is the story of my life that I am still pondering upon even as I write this article, if to tell the world.I have been asking myself if I should let the world know about this or maybe I should just keep it to myself cos most people might think am crazy.All the same am telling my story.I live in Bordeaux, France with my husband and four kids and we have a happy family.It wasn't always just like that.Before my husband, I have been married to five different men.Yeah five, all five marriages failed after six months not cos we had problems or the relationships was on the rock they just come and go without good reason.It was the worst time of my live.I had a feeling there was something about me that wasn't just appealing in the site of all the men that claimed to love to death.The entire puzzle of my life just seem to fall into place when I met my present husband I fall hard in love with him like he also did.It was all in his eye that he loved me with all he's got.Yeah we got married but just after the first six  months as always he just wanted out as every other man that I was married to.I never really wanted to let go of any of my ex husband I was willing to fight for it marriage but they bluntly weren't ready for that.But this, I just got tired of same old same old thing just wanted a steady marriage with the love of my life.I tried marriage counseling with him which is suppose to me the best way to resolving marital problem  but he was like its been tattooed in his mind that he wanted out of our marriage.I Honestly don't know how and when I contacted a spell caster to help me.His name was Mutton I think he was of great help cos I honest remember that I think he helped me save my marriage.I say I think cos its being one year and six months exactly since he cast a spell to make my husband stay till dead do us part and my husband is still with me now and we are happy and in love just like how we were for the first six months.I will be fully convinced if we get to celebrity our 50th year anniversary.I don't want any body to see this article like it was meant to make you contact him.I am just sharing my experience on how Mutton helped me restore my marriage with spell casting and I should tell you he does not charge for his services all you are to do is to provide materials he will be needing for the spell casting.If you feel he can help you solve any of your problem contact him here godsofosunx@rocketmail. com this was what I used to contact him good luck.

mlights · Accepted Answer

I don't know hold old this is ior if you still chck it.

I know how you feel i have a long and complicated story where my ex first broke up with me a week after being a couple for first week i tried to convince him to come back he said i just dont see a future think you feel more than me, move ahead a month, he is interested in meeting up for a drink, turns out he was terrified it was all too good to be true that it would end badly and hed get hurt. i took him back as as soon as i met him i knew i just knew id fall in love with him. we had three amazing months together and seriously never been so close, like you i had never been with a together guy he had started his own business paid his bills was a good dad to his son, he spent four days having his sone and the other three we were together, he like me staying atb his Monday night so when he came back from work Tuesday he came home to me.

all was great i would get message like the following everyday
i miss you babe xxxx
morning gorgeous you ok xxxxxxx
hate every minute im away from you xxxxx
your special xxxxx
not long now till we see each other
and so much more everyday we spoke even when he is on lunch we spoke, it has been a week and i first made misytake of pleading with him to see sense and that he is just scared like last time, he says its not like last time, but 1st time he was like this so sure and convinced he would never change his mind but he did. i have not texted him for three days he is extremely stubborn so i know he won't text, i vcannot get over him, everytime i even think about what i had and now i don't i ball my eyes out and im not a big girly girl i even let him see me cry, i just waiting for him to change his mind like he did last time, love him so much thata i can't date anyone else i cry just thinking about it. need him to see i know he was in love with me he pretty much told me that so i knnow he is scared and thinks by pushing me away ill get over him, tells me i deserve better

Danni · Accepted Answer

Honey! This is to your last update... it's ok. The words made me want to punch walls when friends told me that. I was so upset... but I was dumped during a twin pregnancy... but I don't care how anyone was dumped... it's hurts all the same. But I heard this line in a song... "I'd rather hurt then feel nothing at all". you're alive! Be grateful, for every situation, good or bad creates character. To be honest I didn't read this entire post... bottom line you want to get your ex back... but focus on getting yourself back. That's what I did, with the intention of getting back with my ex, but in the process I started to not feel so strongly towards him and I met someone else. I am in no way ready for anything physical, but the attention and excitement of this new relationship is so awesome, and you realize how you are supposed to feel... wanted and loved... not rejected and low. Baby Girl... don't worry bout the details of how things got to where they did... we are here now..accept and move on. You can love him too without being his "girlfriend"...sometimes, you have to set people free...if they come back it's meant to be.

good luck!

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Well if somebody is getting over you not loving you right why do you want him back. Even if you get him back, its going to be temporary. We guys, if we change our mind, its hard to get back to the same state of mind. Loving someone is not a joke. Its not how he pleases you with gifts and other. Its about how he feels about you enternally.

I don't understand the whole thing about getting back to someone who already dumped you. You know, if somebody dumps you, he did it for a reason. May me at from the starting days of your so called relationship, he was only planning to use you or something and now he is planning on doing something similar to other lady. He got enough out of you and he bought presents because if he could show you he cares for you which he really do not, he could use you again if he could not get another one.

Analyze the things he pretended to you in order to get your attention towards him. Kissing, having sex, having dinner together and most importantly just saying "i love you" dosen't implies love. Holding hands in public, introducing you as his girlfriend in among his friends both guys and girls, giving more time to you etc... shows love.

think about it...

mike1926 · Accepted Answer

You may want him back but maybe the best thing is to just to let him go. I don't think I can really care about somebody fully If they don't love me the same way back, and It sounds like your just a little more into him than  he is in you at this point...doesnt mean It can't change. It sounds like you guys have some problems which can be worked out but he honestly sounds like a guy to me that just needs his freedom for awhile. Its crazy I know, he says he loves you, he likes your family, friends etc and then he dumps you. Sometimes guys need to see that was on the other side really isn't all that good to realize what there missing. It possibly could be the real reason why he called It off, to revaluate how much he wants to be with you. Trust me he will realize what a mistake he made and how right you are for him, when he can't find anyone else to make him feel the way you did. Only a matter of time. So give him space for now and let him come back to you. You can call him occasionally but don't stalk him if you know what I mean. Don't text him 100 times a day.

Ibbignerd · Answer

It's probably his way of just taking a step back. When you love someone there is a cloud around them that makes them perfect in every way. He's probably just seeing if you are the one or not. Just take your time and let him come back to you. Try to lift the cloud.

Go get a piece of paper and write down everythink you look for in a guy. make 4 of them things that you will not compremise. Take him completely out of your brain when you are doing this. (this should take about a week)

after your done, write another list of all the qualities. Good and bad. That you see in him. Even write down the things you can't stand about him. His petpeeves, habits, charicter, everything. (this should also take about a week.)

after you are completely done, compare everything between the two list and decide if you should continue to persue him or not.

As sad as it is, time will tell.

madmisskelly · Answer

this problem your having right now, is your fault. You called him back, you text him back. DONT PICK UP THE F***ING PHONE OR ANSWER THE F***ING MESSAGE. He will stop eventually if you do not answer or text back at all. Its p*ssing me off and I don't even know you. You ask us all for this advice that you don't even use. You complain about him, then you pick up the f***ing phone and then come back on and bitch about it. Grow a pair and ignore him completely, until you do that stop asking for advice because we will keep telling you the same thing.

madmisskelly · Answer

To me it seems that if a guy really loved me and thought I was the "perfect girlfriend" then he wouldn't have let me go in the first place. Just keep that in mind. The lame thing is that it may seem like a legit excuse as to why he dumped you but it could be just that- an excuse. He may not have wanted to hurt your feelings so he figured out the best way to break it off so that he didn't place any of hte blame on you,

The point is, he still broke it off with you. He pretty much told you before that he wasn't sure if he wanted to be with you or not which is a huge red flag. NO guy who is truly into you will doubt that he wants to be with you.

So I say let him go, he seems like he wants to have the benefit of talking and being with you without the commitment. Go out and be with a guy who isn't going to doubt if he wants to be with you or not.

ChikaLatina · Answer

Oh my. This sounds like a very horrible break-up for you.

I know how it feels, I truly do.

Remember this quote; "If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, its yours forever. If it doesn't, then it was never meant to be."

I've been in your situation before. But give it time.

Think about the positive things without him. Remember, you're single & you should have fun.

All I think is that your ex is playing with your mind. Playing with your feelings.

If he truly loved you then you wouldn't have broken up with you in the first place. If he had a problem, he would have come a talked with you.

Having sex with him wouldn't solve your trouble. All I think that it'll push him away further from you.

All I have to say is, become friends with him at least. Don't try to hook-up with him or anything like that. Enjoy your freedom now instead of wasting it with desperation for your ex.

Anonymous · Answer

This guy is totally messing with you. He is playing mind games like no ones business. Hey, I will give him the benefit of the doubt and say he is confused and he doesn't know what he wants, but then again, he can just be playing you so he can continue to get the attention he wants without the commitment.

I think what he is doing is awful. Hopefully you are not having sex with him, because that will keep a former boyfriend hanging around but not going back to a relationship. In the end, the only thing you can control is your behavior, not his. If you are continuing to hang out with him and take his calls in the hopes that he will change his mind, you will have to consider how long you can last being treated like this. If you are tired of the treatment, you have to break all ties, not answer his calls, and if he keeps bugging you, tell him once only that you are not his girlfriend, that it was not your choice, and you need to move on.

Anonymous · Answer

There is a problem. You are very available to him. He wanted the break up and yet you don't. But you guys are seeing each other and having a blast as single people yet you still act like you are together.

I was in this similar situation where we broke up yet we saw each other like we were together. It's not fair because you want him and he wants you but he wants to be single. You tell him that you can't be doing this whole friendship thing if you can't deal with it. If you want him, you need to let him know that you being a hypocrite is not true. He is the one. If he loves you and wants you in his life like that (and you want him as well in a relationship) you have to let him know.He cannot be playing these games.

Ibbignerd · Answer

Just wait. If he's making you stress this much for this long, let it go. He's playing you. If he called you up right now and said that he wanted to get back together with u, would you say yes without thinking. Your focusing on him tooooo much. And I'm sure that you know it.

aspisl21 · Answer

He sounds like he doesn't really know what he wants, but knows that he can keep you hanging around.  Don't let him have that control, its unhealthy for you.  Surround yourself with positive things and positive people.  Regain your independance and better yet confidence.  I understand I to was walked out on only 2 weeks ago, the worst thing was I was carrying his child and miscarried he left 10 days later (and we were together almost 2 years)  I haven't slept or eaten in days, can't function ot breathe.  I understand where you're coming from but take every day slow, one day at a time.  Engulf yourself in healthy activities.  and stop letting him control your thoughts and emotions.  Confidence is a turn on, if it's meant to be he will be back and if not, HIS LOSS!

Tamikaze · Answer

Sounds like you two just did not have what it took to have a relationship but he wishes you did.  He's having a hard time letting go and so are you.  I think it would be fair to tell him that this is beyond difficult for you to have him end your relationship but then keep contacting you as if you were together.  Or, you can just continue to ride this roller coaster and see if eventually things work out.  They may, they may not, but in the mean time it will be a bumpy ride.

sumina7 · Answer

I think you both got closer that you both were ready for.

The only way to to salvage it is to have a more casual friendship. DO this:

The next time you guys get together, do your usual talking and laughing but end the interaction early saying that you are over him and want to be just friends. Then control all your urge for more and given time, he will chase you.

If he does not, it was not meant to be.

Serotriptomine · Answer

Seeing as how you have a handle on the reasons why you two are not together anymore.

You can contact him for dinner again, or a walk through the park.

And start talking about "the good old days" all the while apologizing for your jealously.

And then explaining to him how you're going to change, and that "you can't think right." etc etc.

Well goodluck, but you have to talk to him about everything.

Ibbignerd · Answer

Ok. Guys Love it when a girl Is falling for him. It's exciting. Just let him go. He sound like hers got a hold of your heart. That's not good. Take him completely out of your life. Next time you see him? Don't be nervous, just be yourself and it won't be a akwerd.

itstavia3 · Answer

im pretty much in the same boat as you as of yesterday. I can only say that you need to let him know that yes, this is what you want. but you can also live without him. even if you think you can't, acting like you can will help because a guy doesn't want a girl who is obsessed with them because there's no thrill or chase. its hard but if you have any questions about it, I'm here to answer. let me know the details of what's going on too, I'm sure they can help my situation ;)

pualina42 · Answer

I m TASHA from U.S.A, My ex lover now [husband] is back and we are happily married with kids and i m here to gave thanks and appreciation to Dr IRABOR the spell caster of iraborspelltemple@gmail.com for all the time He stood by me, for all the truth He make me see, for all the happiness He brought into my life, for all the wrongs He make right, for every of my dreams He make come through and for the help i found in Him, i am grateful and thankful unto Him, He was the one that helped me all, He never let me fall, He was the one that saw me through it all, He was my source of strength when i was weak, He was my voice when i couldn`t speak, He was my eyes when i couldn`t see,{spiritualy}He saw the pain wasn`t good for me, He lifted me were i couldn`t reach, i m everything i m today because He helped me, i m so happy my husband is back in my life at last, His email is iraborspelltemple@gmail.com, A temple were sorrows are dropped and happiness is gain in return.

Tamikaze · Answer

OMG, yikes.  No, you will not get him back with sex.  You will get him back only if he wants a relationship.  Short of that you will be having a casual sexual deal with him.  A lot of guys love that and the girls hate it because you do expect a relationship.

Reeses-pieces777 · Answer

I feel that he wants to move on possibly . He isn't trying that hard to get back with you. You might need some time off from seeing him to rethink the whole situation. I was like that after one relationship and he dumped me and I wanted to get back. But now when I think about it, he had a lot of flaws I didn't like so I am glad I left him for good.

eeeeeeeee238 · Answer

He doesn't sound very nice... Ask yourself is he just playing a joke on or using you? I know its hard but you have to see if its worth it to go on with this.  Don't talk to him for like a week and see what happens

Sexy-Senior-09 · Answer

Listen, you change how someone feels about you. My advice is let him be and if he comes back then good and if he doesn't then there's plenty of guys out there.

trust me I tried this before and it doesn't work

pete011-99 · Answer

My ex girlfriend contacts me every day it is making me feel worse. If you relay want him back you should remind him of all the good times you had and the reason you got together in the first place. He will miss you and you will hopefully get back together.

Danni · Answer

and you're gonna be confused... and more than likely he is confused too... Just keep on keepin on... not much else you can do, but be YOU!

How do I get back my ex boyfriend that dumped me?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said