Should I let my ex in the delivery room?

i am 39 weeks pregnant with a beautiful baby girl and everything is perfect but the only problem is me and the babies father are not together anymore now do not get me wrong he is great but the relationship just did not work out but he has been very involved in the pregnancy as he comes to scans and appointments with me and we are on good terms but i just do not feel conformable with him in the room as i am trying to have a baby
i do not know what to do as on one hand he is going to be a great father but on the other i would be uncomfortable
what do i do and how do i tell him cuz he will be heartbroken if i do not let him be there
sorry for the long post just needed to get it all out there u know


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Is it his right to be in there. Sorry, I understand your perspective entirely, but he has a right to be in the room. If you don't want him watching the actual birthing, fair enough, but it's his child and he's there. He stepped up and not all men do, he deserves to witness the birth.

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    • i know it is his child too but i would be too uncomfortable if he was there seeing everything down there and i have no problem with him being in the waiting room and coming in after she is born

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    • Oh yeah, we're fine. I made sure he couldn't get near us and doing it alone was the best thing ever for me. But you have a decent father there, try to appreciate that :)

    • that is good to hear and i am grateful everyday that he is there and wants to be part of our daughters life and wants to be her dad

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What Guys Said 8

  • if you honestly believe that he is going to be a great father and be there for this child then I'm sorry but you need to let him be there! it would be one thing if he was some dead beat pice of sh** who wanted to do with you and your baby but this sounds like one of the rare cases where this isn't the case. so if he wants to be there Id let him.

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  • It's his kid too and as you said he will be a great father, so he has the right and diserves to be there when his kid comes Into this world

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  • He should be at the hospital because he is the dad but as for being in the room while your giving birth that's your call if you are uneasy about him being the room then you should tell him to wait outside until the baby is born

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    • how should i tell him something like that he will be heartbroken

    • Maybe but it's not like your banning him from seeing his baby at the Hopsital just talked to him tell him how uncomfortable it will be for you him being in the room while your giving birth

  • I believe he has the right if he wants to. I don't know your relationship but i assume he wasn't abusive and with that said, it is his child as well. He should have the option to be in the child's life as long he isn't hurting anyone.

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    • no he was not abusive but still i just do not want him seeing anything

  • yes he is the father

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  • It would so totally unfair to deny him this...

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    • why should i feel uncomfortable at my baby's birth

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    • ... it hasn't happened yet. why risk it?

    • You mean ex's should not be allowed at delivery rooms. Ok.

  • ya could work

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  • Let him

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    • why if it will make me uncomfortable when having my baby girl

What Girls Said 10

  • Only one thing matters here. Whether or not you are comfortable with it. Obviously you are not comfortable with the idea which means you shouldn't let him be there. You're the one delivering the baby, it should be totally up to you. He might be heartbroken but he'll live. Just let him down easy, explain why you've made that decision.

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    • why are you using pic in your private page if it not yoursss

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    • I saw your mom's lol

    • No worries :]

  • Yes... Get over your ego and let him see his newborn child be born!
    He has every right just as you do to be in that delivery room.

    You're going to have to swallow your pride and take one for the team. Heck! You've already taken it by being pregnant and giving birth! What's letting him be in the room? A pebble compared to a stone;-)

    Success with your pregnancy and congratulations! Good luck with your new baby born and i wish you all much happiness ^_^

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    • The birth of HIS and YOUR child is wayyyy more important than your not "feeling comfortable" about him seeing down there. As bad as that sounds, get over it.
      He's already seen ALL OF IT down there... so there's nothing new. It's not like you got a whole new set of vagina. So he deserves to be in the room, unless he chooses NOT to. But he has every right to and I don't really think its fair you deny him that right - unless ofc, it puts you under EXTREME STRESS that you can't deliver the baby and then for 'health reasons' he really can't be in there, but if its just your ego talking... You need to eat that bitter pill and swallow it up :)

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    • :) aww that is very nice to hear! I am happy for you both! All the besttt! ^_^

    • thank u

  • From reading all of the posts and Q&A's on here, it seems like the only reason you don't want him to be able to witness the birth of his baby is because you are struggling with the privacy/modesty issue. You have a right to feel that way. And he has a right to be there for the birth. If you don't want him seeing you, have him sit in a chair next to you. He doesn't have to be standing there with the doctor at the foot of the table to be a part of the birth experience.

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    • yes u have it completely right it is the privacy issue but it dose not matter now as we are back together after last night

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    • Wow--congrats! I hope everything goes smoothly for all three of you! Sending good thoughts and wishes your way.

    • just thought i should give an update in the situation well i had her yesterday

  • I think he deserves to be in the delivery room to meet your baby the same time you do. Especially since he's been so involved with the pregnancy.

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    • i know u are right but it would be very uncomfortable for me if he was there

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    • Congratulations... sounds like everything worked out in the end. Hope this little girl brings you all the joy in the world. :)

    • thank u

  • Considering he is your ex... if you don't feel comfortable, allow him to be at the hospital and come in when you are delivered. He has a right to be there for your baby together, but the birthing process itself is centered about your body in its most vulnerable state and involves a great deal of exposure, blood, pain, and screams, so you should be the one to call the shots on that without guilt. You want the birthing process as smooth as possible for the sake of your baby, and you being uncomfortable will not help anyone. So be honest with yourself on how you'd truly feel and decide. Wish you the best :)

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    • i know he is my ex but he has been there for the whole pregnancy and he is very excited to be a dad

    • if he was in the delivery room, what would you want him to do? hold your hand? help deliver the baby? cut the cord?

      it's your body the baby is coming out of, regardless of anything. do what you feel comfortablee with... no guilt necessary. biology put a lot of responsibility on you for bearing the child. you had to watch your diet and activity for 9 months, you had to bear any sickness and symptoms that came with the pregnancy, you will bear the pain of birth, your body will bear the aftermath of delivery. the man doesn't have that responsibility, because he can't and doesn't need to. the least you get to do is decide who gets to be there for delivery.

      if guilt is consuming you... talk to him about it. tell him you are uncomfortable but feel guilty. See what he says. Maybe it will help.

    • i know if he was there i would not want him to see anything down there but at the same time i would not mind him holding my hand up by my head it is just the him seeing anything really that will make me feel uncomfortable

  • tell him he can wait by the door. and come in as soon as its finished. like tell him birth is so painful and you just dont want him to see that

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  • Let him be at the hospital, don't let him in the room.

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    • that is what i was thinking but how do i tell him without sounding mean

    • You just have to tell him. However, I think that if he can't be in the room, you need to let him be the first to see the baby. Not your mom, not your best friend.

    • i agree with that completely

  • yes its his child too

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  • You need to stop being so selfish. It's for the baby's sake not yours. If I found out my mother kept my father out of the delivery room honestly I'd lose all respect for her. The baby is half his whether you like it or not and if you feel so uncomfortable around him you should have waited until you were in a seriously committed realtionship to have kids.

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  • I think if he wants to be there you should consider it, but that doesn't mean you have to if you feel really uncomfortable about it. You're the one who's going to be giving birth and going through a painful ordeal to do it - I think your comfort kinda trumps his in this situation.

    I don't see why he has to be in the room, as long as he's in the hospital and can come in as soon as the baby's born that should be good enough. He can give him or her the first bath too.

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    • but i do not want him to resent me for not letting him be in the room for the birth

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    • Oh, well even if he's in the room he doesn't have to see that part if he's standing by your head, and holding your hand to lend support. It's your call though. Do what you think is best. He should understand.

    • i think i will talk to him about it and see what he has to say then go from there

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