I dated a woman with BPD and she hurt me beyond what I can describe. Has anyone else experienced this?

Does anyone here have experience being in a relationship with someone with BPD? I was and 6 months later the breakup still hurts. Not as much as it did but I have never had this much trouble healing wounds of a relationship. During the relationship she made me feel amazing about myself. She said wonderful things about me and told me she loved me unconditionally. In October something changed. She became distant and irritable and started nitpicking everything I do, including the way I drink my water. She took me to a party and pretty much ignored me the entire time. I walked over to her and she walked away from me. I brought up how much she was pushing me away and how it was hurting me. She lashed out at me and told me I was too sensitive and that I need to start being a man. Then out of nowhere she told me she didn't want this anymore because she was unhappy. I brought up what she said in the past, that she loved me unconditionally and would do anything to fight for our relationship. She then accused me of using words to manipulate her. She also told me I was manipulative and that all the love I showed her was just a manipulation tactic to get what I want. She then told me all of our relationship problems are my fault and that it's no wonder my past relationships failed as well. She then told me "I don't know why anyone would want to be with you." I wrote her a message the next day explaining what she said to me and how it made me feel. She broke up with me after that and told me she doesn't feel bad about what she said because it's all true. She just feels bad that it hurts me. I was devastated. She was happier without me and I was miserable. My heart still sinks just thinking about what happened. Has anyone else experienced this?


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What Girls Said 2

  • I have Bipolar disorder. It sounds like she doesn't hv the proper treatment. Being emotionally unstable, highly irritable, forgot whatever she said coz of impulsiveness of making promises, living in their own world being super stubborn.. etc etc, are all characteristics of people who suffer from BPD. It would ruin a relationship if he or she leave it untreated. You did nothing wrong but the only thing wrong is you need to get better understanding of BPD. Its highly irritable if you any complaint to her since she would think she is always right. Move on, and next time if you meet a girl with BPD or other mental illness, read some more resources of it. As her partner, you can always encourage and understand her. My BPD symptoms went away amd I could tamper of my medication since I met my boyfriend. She will be good, but better with some sorta treatment. Good luck... :)

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    • When I say BPD I am actually referring to Borderline Personality Disorder. My father has bipolar and is being treated as it is a mood disorder. Borderline Personality Disorder on the other hand... the prognosis isn't so good.

    • I was very patient and understanding with her. I forgave her many times when I should have walked away. It still wasn't good enough.

  • Hopefully she seeking the help she needs in regards to BPD..

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What Guys Said 1

  • Yes, my brother married a bipolar woman and she acted towards him exactly the same. She told him he was manipulating her and that why his ex wife divorced him... the sad thing is I knew the woman before it got worse and she was a wonderful lady. She's been refusing treatment and now she's divorcing him. I'm so sorry, he told me how much it hurt him.

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