Anyone ever left someone they loved to protect themselves? How did you cope?

He wasn't a bad guy, was really loving and great when we were together. Just never ever barely made time for me. We went 5 weeks without seeing each other because he was always 'busy' with work and friends, but we don't live very far apart. Both of our previous relationships were with physically abusive, controlling people and we were both scared to end up in that situation again. We would have a great time, then after he would get distant. He would not talk to me or respond to me for days. I would sense the distancing and push him away. He would blame it on having issues from his ex. This last time he did it I broke up with him, over message, because I knew I wouldn't see him anytime soon. He read it, but never replied and I haven't heard from him for 5 days. I felt breaking up was the best option, because the roller coaster ride was getting to be too stressful and bringing up bad memories from exes. I do miss him and love him still and other then these issues we were absolutely perfect together. I'm trying my hardest not to contact him and stay strong. Any advice?


1|0
41

Most Helpful Guy

  • Yes, I did. Nothing you can do but cut the contact and try to move on. Will take some time though because its not the usual "we fought so long that love vanished" kind of breakup.

    0|0
    0|0
    • Exactly! If I hated him or he had done something horrible it would be a different story. Did you get the urge to contact them? If so how long did that take to go away?

    • Show All
    • Ahhhh ok. I am just scared of hearing the 'I'm sorry' 'let's work this out' 'I care about you' 'I love you' 'I'll try harder' conversation and crying. I broke up with him a month ago for the same issues and that's what happened. Nothing changed at all so I'm trying my hardest to stick to my guns...

    • If it didn't change, its not worth it. Sometimes you have to think about things logical.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm going through the same thing right now and it's very hard, but I find that just coming to terms with the loss of the relationship and that its best to be apart so you don't have to deal with the stress it's causing you. If you know in your heart that it would never work then just stay strong and don't contact him otherwise you are going to get hurt in the end. It's best to just grieve the loss and it's okay to cry and feel sad because it's very hard to let someone go that you love. But remember it will get better, you just have to give it some time, so try not to contact him and I hope you feel better soon 😊

    0|0
    0|0

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 0

The only opinion from guys was selected the Most Helpful Opinion, but you can still contribute by sharing an opinion!

What Girls Said 3

  • I think it's best to end any relationship which has a negative affect on you , or which makes you feel emotionally unsafe and vulnerable. Your own emotional and mental state are paramount , regardless of how much you love someone, so sometimes it's necessary to save yourself , and put an end to the one thing that's hurting you and dragging you down.

    Like the saying goes,"it's best to be healthy alone, than sick with someone"

    0|0
    0|0
  • This whole story contridicting, it's like you keep going back and forth with everything from beginning to end... you do have a great deal of trust issues you must sort through before dragging somebody threw the mud

    0|0
    0|0
  • I'm sure it's happened; love is selfish.

    0|0
    0|0
Loading...