Is it logical to break something off with someone if you both want different things? Even if you like each other?

I met this dude a month ago. Due to his own personal issues, he straight up told me from the beginning he cannot handle a relationship right now. I didn't mean that meant he was going to meet up with other women, but I guess it did. I was hurt, I expressed me feelings a bit too much about how that isn't right, and I do realize we were not exclusive but we were doing things that he should have been honest that he was seeing other women (or open to, I'm not sure how lucky he is without a car) but now I fear for my own health as well. He then said maybe we should not continue seeing each other because he cannot give me what I am looking for. I feel rejected... Should I take it that way? I do want something serious, and he said he is a relationship guy and can't just sleep around, yet that's what he is doing. He's 28. I thought he'd be a bit more ready for a relationship but I guess not?


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What Guys Said 2

  • Despite what he says he is , his actions just don't back up his claims here. Some people do in fact do things and may act differently while going through a rough patch that the typically wouldn't do otherwise. It's sometimes hard to actually put a finger on the cause without wondering in the back of your mind are you judging to quickly or to harshly , but at the same time you don't want to be played either

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  • Yes, it's rational and even advisable. In your case, I think that it's better this way.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Yes, this is a basic incompatibility. He doesn't want a relationship now, you do. I understand why you're hurt but you are not exclusive with him and he made that rather clear (although granted I don't know when you clarified that you were not exclusive). You're clearly not ok with seeing him while not being exclusive so the responsibility was on you to leave the situation before you got your feelings hurt.

    Look, sometimes you meet an awesome person at the wrong time. This is one of those cases it seems. He's not the right person for you. The right person will want the same thing you want (a relationship). Dragging this on is not going to make his change his mind. You gave it some time but it's not working out. Now you need to do the right thing for you and leave so you can find the right person.

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    • You're absolutely right. And I am seeing that now (initially for a few days I didn't want to think of saying goodbye) but now I think it's the only thing that's best for me. And I need to put myself first now.. Instead of my desires for others.

    • Yeah, you're going to be happiest (in a relationship) when you are with someone who is on the same wavelength (for lack of a better term) as you. It's completely normal to like or want things that are bad for us but we have to realize when the bad outweighs the good.

      Best of luck to you and I hope you find someone who is right for you.

    • This is really spot on advice...

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