Do you think guys can change?

So my was basically an asshole. We mutually ended things (more so him) and when I went to pic my things up from his house he had this look on his face, like he was taking one good last look, slightly sad/confused. Do you think he may end up regretting breaking up, since I was really good to him and gave it my all, but he blames my attitude, that I was complaining too often but:
He took me for granted. Rarely made time for us. All he wanted to do is make out, etc. Emotionally closed off
He was controlling and manipulative (no pictures or posts). He blamed me and my attitude for reacting to the things he did. It’s his way or the highway. Rarely apologized. He’s lied to me and his friends about pointless things ( said we'd slept together when we hadn't). Hot and cold. He didn't entirely respect me (didn't want to slow things down/ go backwards)
His friends even knew he wasn't trying.
Do you think he could ever realize he messed up and change?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • People rarely change in any significant ways. Most people feel quite content and justified in acting the way they do and they have no motivation for change. It happens on occasion, but significant change is rare. He may say the right words to convince you to give him another chance but he will still be the same guy.

    When a couple is together for any length of time and then break up, there is usually some fault or contribution from both of the partners. Don't be so anxious to throw him under the bus that you fail to look at how you handled the relationship and what you could have done differently.

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    • Of course! I reflected on my flaws and asked for others opinions. His friends finally revealed to me that he's kind of a player. I recognize that I could have and probably should have done some things differently, but he's even admitted that I tried harder and put in more effort than him. I was always the one to reach out to him, to win him back.
      Never again, he hurt and disrespected me too much

Most Helpful Girl

  • Why wouldn't he have done that before you left? Sounds like he may not like that it's over but he probably would return to this behavior after a short time of having you back.

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    • true, most people don't change. I'm just afraid that he may come crawling back after a while

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    • When he makes you have more happy days than sad days. It's a good sign.

    • Yeah! always felt like I was walking on egg shells with him, nervous if I'd have pissed him off or something.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • Apart from experiencing a major life changing traumatic event. people rarely change, they just become better versions of themselves

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    • I don't mean they improve in that way, I just mean they become a more efficient version of what their personality is. Ie liars become better liars, Communicators become better communicators, players become better at being players

    • oh... never mind then
      so basically he's a lost cause?
      he could grow up, he's only 18, almost 19

  • Maybe someday but not anytime soon so it's good that you've moved on :P
    Now it's time to find someone else 😜 LOL

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    • I haven't completely gotten over him, that's why I'm a bit nervous that he may come back. I've blocked him so he can't contact me and am taking time for myself. I just really fell hard for him and then something in him changed, time to move on

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    • awww that's really sweet. I feel like most just date for the sake of dating and don't expect their relationships to last. If you're with someone, you should be able to picture being with them for the long run, even if it doesn't work out

    • Yep i agree with you on this :P

  • He did that and you still wanna be with him? Ouch, must be hard being you...
    Well, Id say no, not for the short term at least. Continue your life, you're a teenager anyways, your life barely started...

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    • what can I say, I fell hard!
      but I know he's an ass and I need to move on

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    • ayyyeeeee that's awesome! I have a friend who's croatian

    • Seems like everyone has a croatian friends these days...
      We're the new gay...

What Girls Said 3

  • Any one can change, but not everyone does. He may deserve a chance, but don't give him too many.

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    • how many chances is too many?

    • That's a case to case thing, when he keeps repeating the same mistakes. You'll know.

  • They can change for the worst.

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  • People do not change its extremely rare if they do

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    • sadly that is very true, I just fell really hard for him, so it's hard to get over him

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