So I'm leaving my overzealous vegan wife and I'm the bad guy?

So me and my wife are both 24 and when she suddenly became vegan i tried to support her but i dont want my son growing up around her especially with her ignorant ass spewing hate speech nonstop to meat eaters. When she went vegetarian i joined her because i loved her i gave up meat but now im Done Sick and tired of her dictating our fucking life style i had a cheat day and had a 4 piece chicken nugget meal from McDonald's and this bitch throw my fuckin xbox out Now we have been to gather about 5 years my son is my ex's child but she raised him like he was her son and acts like she gave birth to him i respect that but im done with her dictating my fuckin like i want my son to be able to choose whether he likes meat or not. sick of it. I got the damn papers to divorce her now she locked her self in her room calling her friends and mother and now they are bugging me telling me im and asshole and how i'm the one who ruined the fuckin marriage.

Updates:
it took me a while to realize i put gay instead of guy i dont know why

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Maybe I could offer some insight to the situation since I am a vegan dating a meat eater (we've been together three years now). We almost broke up last year because of it, but we realized we loved each other too much not to give the relationship a second chance. To me, this sounds like a lack of empathy and communication on both parts. You are refusing to see things from her perspective and not making much of an effort, considering that being supportive does not just involve you giving something up for her, it means educating yourself as she has and having an open mind as well. Instead of trying to change for her, try to see things from her point of view and try to imagine how she feels. And for your wife... She doesn't seem to understand that acting psychotic isn't going to help and that people don't respond to negativity, bouts of rage, and criticism very well. If you really want this relationship to work out, you have to sit down with each other and actually put effort into this. You need to open your mind and take in the information and she needs to chill, read up on the psychology of carnism, cognitive dissonance, and effective activism. I'll link some resources that will help both of you understand each other better and that really helped my boyfriend and I become closer. He may not be vegan, but he understands why I get sad when I see the body parts of animals and he understands why I get angry at the fact that no one seems to care. That's the most I could ask for, honestly. If he goes vegan one day, that's great, but I'll always be so grateful for his understanding and acceptance. Veganism (+this whole situation) is really quite complex, so it may take some time to get through the links I've recommended to you both, but it's worth it if you two are serious about making your marriage work. Believe me, I felt like it was helpless and I wanted to give up on us, but I'm so unbelievably happy that we gave it another shot because our relationship is better and more fulfilling than it ever has been.
    I'll add some useful links in the comments of this comment lol. Feel free to use it if you two decide to patch things up.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • One simple rule in life is that you are free to live it anyway you choose, within the law, and within reason.

    What one must not do is force one's values on others, do not force your opinion on others, and do not silence those who's opinions differ from yours.

    Read that to her, and if she doesn't get it, she will never get it.
    Although a vegan diet pretty much sucks and you are depriving yourself a life of being awesome, some might say it's a petty argument. But it is not the veganism that is the problem here. It is that she is forcing her lifestyle on others. I suspect it does not actually stop at the vegan issue.

    Advice? Let her say what she wants to her friends and mother. They are not your friends or your mother. Your own mother will listen to your reasoning. Your wife's mother will never take your side, so just ignore them.

    The one who tries to dictate the lives of others is the one who ruined the marriage.

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What Girls Said 16

  • Okay, so, first, I'm going to assume you met guy and not gay.

    Also, you are not a bad guy. You don't have to stay married to anyone. You don't owe her squat. She's in her feelings because she loves you and she's hurt that you want the relationship to end, which is understandable. But she sounds like a brat to be honest. The only time I'd throw a guy's Xbox out the window is if he cheated on me and gave me an STD or something, but I wouldn't do it because you ate a chicken nugget... your wife is psycho.

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    • Honestly i thought she was the one but lately shit just getting worse and worse and now i;m done. I would love if she would let me do as i please when it comes to eating and stuff and trust me im more heartbroken than she is iv been pretty sad and iv been drinken a bit not enough to be a problem just enough to get me tipsy and maybe a little over tipsy

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    • a bit

    • Oh my Lord... okay, yeah, just wait it out. Drink some coffee and sober up. If she's not done with her bitch fit when you're sober, then you need to call the police yourself.

  • Have you guys talked about this at all? Why's she so crazy about it.. I've definitely seen vegetarians marry meat eaters (because they don't force their views on the rest of the family) so I'm curious why she's so obsessive over this. But i don't think you wanting a divorce is too out of hand if your lifestyles don't match up, thought I would def tell you to try and talk about it and calm her ass down a bit before doing so.

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    • There's a difference between vegans and vegetarians. Vegans are extremely militant about their lifestyle.

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    • Exactly, lol that is true. But it's also not good for the kids to lose who they see as their mother figure so early on. That's why I'm saying you guys really need to talk about this. If she loves your kid that much I would hope she'd relax a bit for his sake.

    • and i will say when it comes to my boy there is nothing i won't do to protect him when he was 2 a stray pit bull came into our yard and bit his hand i beat the dog to death out of a fit of rage.

  • first off she sounds like a spoiled bitch who throws a tantrum when she don't get what she wants i don't blame you and to tell the truth she would so hate me im a meat eater but i don't have a sitch with vegans some of my friends are vegans i don't have a sitch till thy try to force there life style on me or someone else

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    • and if she reacted to you eating a stupid piece of chicken if you kid eats meat she may hit him i dont know if thats something you guys do or not but i was never hit as a kid so to me its bad

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    • i think my ass was hit maybe 3 times my who life lol and one was for something i did not do lol but owell

    • and im sorry things did not work out for you and your wife

  • Well, there's two sides to every story. But it sounds like she is incredibly unreasonable, and you're probably better off without her.

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  • Try explain to her calmly at least one last time that you& your son have your own life and decision. I know how hard to change ones mind about lifestyle. I think she feeling a bit guilty deep inside because at first you ate it with her but then you can't stand it, she might feel like she's so demanding that you have to follow her so maybe just tell her something like ' you don't want to ruin the relationship and still love her but you think eating different diets couldn't be a big problem and say you do respect her decision but you prefer yours for yourself' . Considering leaving her because of this vegan topic, I don't think you're bad but they maybe bias on your action of turning down your wife lifestyle.

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    • She broke my shit for eating a chicken nugget thats overboard.

    • I guess that because she felt that you betray on her for eating it after follow her

  • Course they'll take her side as she's family/her friends. But at the end of the day it's your son and she has no say in that

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  • did she throw away your xbox when she found out that you had some nuggets?

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    • yes.

    • she has no right ti di thatm if she wants ti be vegan she can be but you also have the right ti be whatever you want, if she doesn't give up on that after your threaten to leave her, then leave her, but give her one more chance

  • Lol, i hope this is a joke. When you file please say the reason is veganism.. it would be too funny. All seriousness... Tell her to keep her beliefs to herself, if wants to go vegan good for her but its not something everyone else subscribes to. You need to talk to her and set boundaries.

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  • Do people even take marriage seriously anymore? The both of you are a joke.

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    • I'm the self righteous asshole? Do you even hear yourself? Your wife is a joke because she'll throw away an Xbox over you eating chicken nuggets and you're a joke because you're going to divorce her for being vegan. Yeah you took it seriously when there wasn't any strife. Now that there is difficulty between you instead of working it out you want a divorce. You're both loony.

  • Overzealous is one word.

    Lifestyle is also one word.

    Punctuation is your friend. The full stop should follow a complete thought. Learn to love them.

    Random capitalization is also a sign of poor grammar.

    #GrammarLessonsWithLaVilaine

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  • I'm vegan so i can understand the annoying speeches. But i think it was very unnecessary to throw your xbox, I mean what difference will it make. And i think its very sweet of you to try and change your eating habits for her sake even if you dont want to. But try to look into veganism do tons of research and find out why its so good for the animals, our planet and your health. But if thats impossible for you i think you should leave her. And dont see her as an example of every vegan girl. Not every vegan is mean when it comes to getting their point across. :*

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    • See now i respected you then you gave a fuckin mini speech.

  • You have a right to not love someone anymore.
    It is not your fault,
    And they shouldn't bitch about it.

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  • Oh jeez. She sounds controlling and manipulative. Was there any chances for you guys to have an open dialogue about what was going on? I don't blame you for leaving.

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  • I hate crazy elitist vegans
    Good for you

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  • You guys aren't a good match. It's no ones fault.

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    • she wasn't like this when we met or the first year of marriage.

  • you're not the bad guy. Clearly she has issues and is VERY immature. Who in their right mind throws away an expensive game system and over chicken nuggets? Get your son away from her, nothing good has ever come from mentally unstable violent people. Explain to your son though why you have to leave, one day he will understand but his safety and mental well being is important.

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What Guys Said 7

  • Reading this question and some of the replies makes me ask if you're really doing your best for the child. Ripping it away from the lady that's raised it for the last 5 years needs more consideration than you're giving it. I want my future children to be brought up the same as I was. My parents erred on the side of caution and brought my sibling and I up as veggie, with the understanding that if we wanted to eat meat it would be ok. We were brought up to make our own choices.

    I would hazard a guess that there's more going on here than just a disagreement on meat consumption. It seems like the whole relationship is flawed, and this is just a convenient way of ending it.

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    • the women broke a 3-400 game station over me eating 4 chicken nuggets. im scared she will hit my son if she sees him eat meat and im more scared i will end up beating the piss out of her for going to far.

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    • As I thought, a bigger issue than just eating meat. If it's that bad, then a clean break is probably best. Make sure your child is given plenty of time and love through this.

    • Don't forget to find out what your son wants, though. He may not fully understand, but he should be listened to. You should also explain to him what meat is and where it comes from. Explain what veggie is, and what veganism is. Find out what he thinks, even at his tender age.

  • Can't you just both be civilized adults and have a srious conversation. Tell Her you respect her being a vegan but also stress that you should both have good intentions with raising your child and feel that the negativity is not needed in the household and to respect your wishes to eat what you want.

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    • i am the one being civil im not thrashing around the house breaking shit over her locking herself in the room. Im calmly waiting down stairs to have her sign the papers because im not gonna have a women who would go as far as breaking a 3-400$ game station over a chicken nugget if she found my son doing something she does not want him to do she could hit him or do something worse i dont need my son being raised around a mentally unstable woman who wants to play leader but when shit goes south she hides in a locked room refusing to come out.

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    • Get some councilling.

    • T_T really.

  • Obviously HER friends and HER mother will side with her. Get ou before it gets worse. Its clear that she is a nutcase and can't handle compromises.

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  • I would of left too OP. Can't trust a sloot who doesn't eat meat

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  • I hate people like that
    Im straight edge (not the veggie or vegan type) but i dont judge peolple for drinking or smoking
    The way i look at it himans were designed to eat meat and plants

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  • Do what you want and be the bad guy. WHo cares

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  • If you have a wife you're abviously a bad gay : ^)

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    • yeah i just noticed that didn't notice the fuck up when i made it.

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