Why is he still messaging me?

My ex boyfriend and I were together for a year and a half. During that time he lied frequently, manipulated my emotions, forced me into sexual things that I was not comfortable with, cut me off from friends, and self harmed to make me feel bad for him. I broke up with him over a year ago. It was a really messy split. He spread rumors (we were seniors in high school) that I had been cheating on him for months, that I had hooked up with multiple guys on school property, he slept with numerous underclassmen to "get back at me", and told a mutual friend that he hoped my dad "bites the dust after calling [her] out for being a whore". After I confronted him, he denied everything and tried to maintain contact with my mom to check up on me. He's messaged me on Facebook a couple of times to give condolences when my father passed away, to wish me a happy birthday, just last week to say he hopes I had a great freshman year and a wonderful summer, and a few more times as well. I haven't responded to him before, I haven't talked to anyone that I know is still associated with him, so why does he think I want to talk to him? Why would he keep trying to be a part of my life?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • He has a manipulative/guessing narcissistic personality and is still trying to control you/get under your skin.
    That's my guess, he appears very passive aggressive too

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Because he knows you are the best thing that ever happened to him despite him fucking it all up and being an asshole! Curb stomp his ass! You can do better!

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    • I actually am currently doing better, it's really nice. That's why I don't get why he won't drop it?

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What Guys Said 5

  • It's because you broke his heart. He loves you, guys in high school only mainly think about they're little heads not the one on there shoulders. Heck I've done that and I'm in the same boat but I'm way older. If you would like check out my post to get the details. He seems like an asshole. I am one of those and there is times I don't like to be on but it's how guys out there walls up. He misses you and wants to see if you can patch things up. If you want to patch them up see what he has to offer, but if you don't than you will have to tell him to back off

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  • Late answer here but I know a guy who's done similar things to a friend of mine.

    He's probably one of the very posessive types and cut off your friends so you will spend all your attention on him. If they are rejected they are prone to bursts of great anger ( name calling and beating ect)

    They are often able to manipulate your self esteem to so you think that you don't deserve anyone better than them.

    So I really hope you stay sway from a guy like that.

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  • Personally, I think he just enjoys dicking with you. Instead of allowing him to message you (and not responding), just block him so that he cannot message you at all.

    I see no benefit for you to maintain contact, even if it is one-sided.

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  • He might feal bad fir the stuff , or when ur dad died he might be like am nit going to talk shit to you cos you lost some one , but when he spread the rumors he just woned to be a"hero " in other persons eyes , what I mean is that he went to a girl and be like I had it hard my gurl cheated on me , ... ( oh poor guy ) and he got her , so he might wona be nice to you so I guess just bloc him and do not look back 😉

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  • People get addicted to each other. Its hard to quit sometimes. I know this all too well.

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