True or false: The cheater is always at fault?

  • True
    Vote A
  • False
    Vote B
  • Other
    Vote C
Select a gender to cast your vote:
I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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3026

Most Helpful Guy

  • Yes, absolutely. If you don't like the relationship, leave. There really can't be an excuse.
    Separating won't have the best financial outcome? Well then you value income more than the relationship.
    The kids don't deserve to see their parents separated? Well they're no better off seeing them being cold and hostile towards each other.
    He/she might become aggressive? Call the damned police or your family for protection.
    You still love them but feel dissatisfied in other areas? Obviously you don't love them. Otherwise you wouldn't have cheated. THAT or you would have worked on the fucking problem.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • 100% True

    If opportunity or circumstances control a person's loyalty then there's obviously something wrong with their character... not the person they are cheating on

    People who cheat are totally responsible for their own actions and behaviour. Laying blame on someone else is only a way to either , ease their guilt or to make their deceit acceptable. That way they can continue to treat people as they please , with no boundaries.

    I'll never allow anyone lay any fault with me for their behaviour. They are in control of their own emotions, feelings and desires.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 25

  • you cheated, you're guilty. PERIOD. no ifs, ands, or but's about it.

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  • Cheating is a conscious act of betrayal and it is always done deliberately. Therefore the cheater is always at fault. Not happy with your SO? Then leave and find someone new. Don't cheat!

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  • Maybe, if they cheated out of their own issues then yes.

    If the cheater acted out of pain from the relationship where they weren't having their needs met, then yes but with sympathy. It is still wrong, but can understand why and the root is the relationship or the other person not loving their partner. Much better and healthier and more adult to end the relationship then startup new realtionship.

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  • True, there are many ways to go about actually handling a situation that would get someone to cheat... but that is what I call "the easy way out".
    When the opportunity presents itself... as it should never get to that point in the first place we are faced with a descision... be a mature grown individual and choose the path that will resolve what gave you the feeling you need to cheat to begin with... or just make a situation worse and cheat.

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  • Always is a BIG word.

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    • Can you provide a scenario where it is not true?

    • Show All
    • @bcromartie I would think that they would already have a house by the time the first child was born. But we're getting off topic here. I never said cheating is justified, I merely stated that the other spouse might not be blameless

    • @Sabretooth Which you never actually substantiated.

      Oh well. Bedtime!

      Night.

  • I'm surprised at how many women voted True to this poll despite the fact that female cheaters are that much more likely to try to justify their cheating by complaining that their partner neglected them or was emotionally distant.

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  • Yes, the cheater is always at fault.
    Even when your relationship is going bad, you made the conscious choice to cheat instead of breaking up, so of course the cheater is at fault.

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  • Yeah. Always.

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  • You never need to cheat, as you can break up openly before getting with the other person.

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  • We're always responsible for what we do, and only ever responsible for things that we do. So if someone cheats they're the only one that can be responsible for cheating.

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  • Usually. Though even the bible remarks not to deny your spouse sex, lest they go cheat

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    • Ridiculous. If that's a problem in your relationship, talk to your partner. If you're not on the same page and you can't sort things out, you can end the relationship. Cheating is always a choice.

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    • A general statement. We're all individuals, but you're saying that all women behave a certain way.

    • @YayBatman Oh, you mean about loyalty and attractiveness? Yeah. If a woman is attracted to you, she'll be loyal and forgiving, at least to a degree. If a woman loses attraction for you, she becomes as cold as if she never met you.

  • True?

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  • his fault for submitting to the impulse, but, in SOME cases, you must examine how you treated your partner

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  • Yup, its called personal responsibility.

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  • completely true

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  • Yeah, unless you're a female. Then you twist it and reshape it to somehow be the guys fault.

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  • Yes and always at fault

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  • if you mean by cheat.. having an affair.. full affair.. then it's always wrong.. but if you mean.. looking for an affair.. or growing attention for other people.. then that depends.. not always wrong

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  • It doesn't matter who's at fault... The net result is that the relationship is over

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  • False, almost every sentence with the word "always" is false

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  • True: CHEATING IS STUPID. If you want someone else you leave the person your with. Cheating solves FA

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  • Yepp true

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  • well duh

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  • id like to say yes but its not always. if you sexually neglect your partner for several months at a time just because you dont feel like doing it you have no reason to be mad if they go screwing someone else you werent doing it.

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  • If by cheating you mean lying and going behind their SO's back true. If by cheating you mean leaving for someone else but being upfront about it, no.

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What Girls Said 29

  • True. Even though they may feel as if what they were doing is reactionary to perceived slights against them, there is always a point where they have the choice between saying yes and cheating or saying no and walking away. Their choice means that it's their fault.

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  • The cheater is always at fault yes. However I do believe there are situations in which the one who was cheated on can also be at fault, but that never rids the cheater from being wrong because you should always leave before anything happens anywhere else.

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  • He/she has the option to break up first but chose the gutless path.

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  • True. The cheater is at fault for cheating. the couple is responsible for relationship problems, but the decision to cheat and act of cheating, ies with the cheater.

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  • It is definitely the cheater's fault, regardless of whether they have been pushed by the other partner or not. It's still important to identify the factors that push people to do these things.

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  • I chose other. I do agree the fault is primarily with the cheater and let me be clear, I do not condone cheating in any way shape or form but I can acknowledge that people can be pushed to cheating and they can act that way because of someone else's behaviour. It doesn't excuse cheating at all but it doesn't mean the person who was cheated on is completely faultless. Unless they are, sometimes they are. But everyone who is considering cheating needs to talk to their partner. That's for sure.

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  • YES. no excuses.

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  • The cheater decided to cheat.

    Instead of cheating they could have said "Oh I don't feel loved, lets talk about it." Instead of "I cheated b/c I don't feel loved." etc

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  • Absolutely. People can blame their partner for not satisfying their needs or blah blah blah but in the end, if you're unhappy you fucking leave... you don't cheat. If you do, that's on YOU.

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  • We are I charge of our actions.

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  • Who the hell voted yes?

    If the person cheats, it's their fault, PERIOD. No ifs, ands, or buts about it.

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  • Always true. They're making a decision to do something wrong. There's no way around that. Their fault 100%

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  • It's true, but cheating isn't black and white.

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  • True.
    When is it NOT true?
    Exactly.

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    • It may be not true in many instances.

      Cheating is often the final result of long standing relationship issues. The partners may have spent years arguing, criticizing, lying and attacking each other physically, emotionally to the point where cheating is not actually the trigger or the biggest threat to the relationship.

      Many women who cheat often do so because they feel no longer loved. Whether it's because the relationship has gone sour or stagnant, that is the fault of both people. Cheating just one step further towards a relationship breakdown, but both people likely had many prior opportunities to avoid the cheating, by being more attentive in the relationship.

    • @meowcow So you're saying they should NOT talk to their partner and try to remedy the situation or simply break up - you're saying it's natural to go behind their love's back and cheat and they aren't accountable for it?
      And you're 36?

      Wow...

    • When did I say they should not talk to their partner to fix the situation?
      You clearly did not understand my response.

      I said that it was because both parties did not try to fix the relationship problems, which is the reason for the cheating. Cheating is the the FINAL action leading to the relationship's downfall. The reasons for cheating happen well in advance of the cheating itself. The lack of communication and resolution of the underlying problem is the reason for cheating. And the lack of willingness to communicate and resolve matters is the fault of BOTH parties.

      Somehow, you read it and got the exact opposite meaning. Learn to read. You're 27... wow.

  • ALWAYS at fault.

    Whether the side person knew if your partner is in a relationship is irrelevant. The side person isn't the one who cheated on you.

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  • unless you told them to go hook up with someone.

    then you can't get mad at them for obeying

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  • I'd day because he/she did the cheating, yes. But, I do have more understanding if their partner were to be neglecting them etc.

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  • The only exception I can think of is if someone is stuck in a legitimately abusive relationship against their will. Usually is a better word. Usually the cheater is at fault;.

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  • Yes, always, always, ALWAYS. Either leave the person or accept the situation.

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  • in my opinion that statement is true.

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  • It's funny how some people are using the words "him" or "he"

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    • It's gotten to the point where it's impulsive. You hear more about male cheaters.

  • I would say true

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  • I think its true!

    Let all the hate rule in

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  • Yes they are cause they cheat on their partner with a sound mind and no external pressure.

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  • If a person wants to cheat they should leave the relationship. It is ALWAYS the cheaters fault.

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  • I can't imagine why they wouldn't be.

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  • Yes, always.

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  • I think it depends on why the person is doing it in the first place.

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  • The cheater isn't solely at fault for the relationship problems, but they are at fault for choosing to cheat rather than fix the problem or end it.

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    • Much like what I was trying to say. Both have a responsibility to the other. You can't just treat you spouse like a dancing monkey!

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