Co parenting! I need to know if I'm in the wrong?

So here is the thing, my daughter told me this month that she is being touched in her no no spot (by another child who is 4 and she is 5) while her father is golfing and fishing, and also at school by another little boy (her age) She goes over there for 2 days every 2 weeks. (We don't have any custody established yet) I did file a report with the police because I didn't know if it was the child or an adult. I called her father the next day and told him what was said and he called my daughter a lier!! So she had an appointment with some counselors and they agreed that something happened. Her father called me that same night and said really you got the cops involved, it started off with how his nephew couldn't do that because he's younger then her and this and that, then went into how big of a bitch a am and how stupid I am. Basically he called me to tell me how big of a piece of shit a am. My daughter heard everything and her father calling her a lier and then took back what she said happened, I am getting my daughter into counseling, and I am not letting her see or talk to her father until we get it settled in court am I wrong for doing that? He keeps calling and I keep telling him she doesn't need negativity from him or his family and they don't need to be treating her different for what was said. Am I wrong?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • No. I agree with you. A true father would be more concerned with his daughters well being.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • It should never be assumed that a child is lying when they come forward and tell their parents about something like that. It should be properly investigated so you were absolutely right to get the police involved, especially if you don't know if it was another child or an adult.

    Your childs' father sounds extremely immature and I find it quite sad that he isn't taking this more seriously. His verbal abuse towards you is not acceptable either. Overall, I don't see how you did anything wrong. You acted in the best interest of your child, which is exactly how it should be.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 5

  • You honestly have every right to do that. Kids don't lie about those things. If one of my kids said that to me I would DEFINITELY not call them a liar and got to the bottom of it with the child's mother. No one touches my kids and gets away with it. Kids need positive in there lives from both parents. I think her dad was honestly in shock and scared to learn that his little girl was being abused in that way. Now he seems to be mad but at the wrong people. He should focus his anger to the parents or person that did that to her. I am truly sorry this happened to her and continue to get her help and to the bottom of this all. You seem like a great mother keep up all the hard work. Parenting is not easy one bit but it's amazing at the same time

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  • First off, i assume you didn't tell him you were calling the police before hand because you knew he would blow up like this huh. You're not in the wrong, in fact this guy sounds unbelievably insufferable. He's pretty quick to defend his nephew over his own daughter isn't he.

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  • well, i don't need to ask why you divorced this ''outstanding gentleman''...

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  • What kind of father calls their 5 year old child a liar about something like this? No you are not wrong. I'm pretty sure you'll get full custody

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  • this happens sometimes, its no problem. why are you so weird about this?

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What Girls Said 8

  • Nope, you're totally in the right. Your child's safety and well being comes before anything else. I see absolutely no reason why she would lie about something like that, but if her own father was calling her a liar I can see how she doesn't want to be call that by her dad, so she'll take it back. If even the counsellors have said something has happened then at the very least both of you as parents should be looking into this situation. If nothing actually happened, it's better safe than sorry.

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  • No you are not wrong. I'm going through a similar issue but my child told me whose not 3 yet told me that her nana made me play with her boobies under her shirt. This isn't the first issue I've had with my mom in law my daughter and boobies which she's the one who told my baby what boobies were she wasn't two yet. So I went off they called me a lier saying that kids make up stuff like that all the time. Yea well that's bullshit for them to say that about us so I reported it to CPS and is being investigated. Stand your ground. Kids don't make this kind of thing up. You're doing your job as a mom.

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    • Im sorry your going through that! He is basically saying that I put this all in her head, I don't understand why I'm the only parent that is concerned about this and it is truly pathetic! Well stay strong mama!

    • Yes I'm sorry you're going through this too. Yes my husband actually supports his mom still and I told him to man up but he was abused to I know he was so he's brainwashed it's really sad and pathetic. You can't coach children that age. I don't think. Ignore what they say. They know it's true or they'd support y'all.

  • He's being ridiculous. Children that age don't understand the implications of telling their parents this, so she has no reason to lie about it. She needs counseling and yes, keep her away from her father. Tell your lawyer if you have one why you are doing it too so that they can have your back. But you definitely did the right thing. Even if it comes back that your daughter wasn't telling the truth, you'd feel worse if something had happened and you didn't get her help. Better safe than sorry is what I say. He's being a jerk.

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  • You are not wrong and I'm so glad you're taking action on this!

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  • What an asshole. Excuse my language but seriously? That man is suspect as hell. If my daddy heard anything about that he would be kicking ass and taking names. A real parent would do anything to protect their child and he'd be climbing mountains to get to the bottom of this. It sounds like he's the one doing it and is mad cuz he doesn't want to get caught.

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  • Nope, stick to your first reaction. I've heard of little kids doing this to each other. It's semi common from the stories I've heard.

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  • Id try to get soul custody he is completely unfit. Its too dangerous for your daughter to be around him. i can beleive he called his own child a lier smh. Im glad you divorced him

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  • his failure to deal with his child and nip it in the bud.

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