Guys, why do you only want what you can't have?

Was with my boyfriend 1.5 years. For the past 6 months he treated me like dirt - and I was too in love to question it. I'd go weeks without seeing him, because he'd bin me off for nights out, turn his phone off and disappear until a day or two later then expect me to be lovey towards him. He's told me i'm a waste of time and space, that i'm a bore to his life, that he doesn't have time for me anymore and that he wish i'd fuck off for good.. oh and that he's going to fuck other people.

This has broken me as a person, I used to be a strong minded girl who spoke her mind, but now i feel like an empty shell.

Lastnight was the final straw, the cycle repeated - we were supposed to be having a nice evening just me and him, and he ditches me last minute.. and makes me feel bad about it (how I have no idea but I ended up apologising).

I told him I was done and not to contact me, he spent the night texting me, accusing me.. then today texting and calling me.. then the minute I reply, I get nothing.

Why is he playing games? Any insight would be good!


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Isn't that more of a female thing? matter of fact, thats an everybody thing... we all want things we can't have. its human nature.
    As for this story, first off, i can't believe you stuck around for 6 months of mistreatment.. why? because you were "... too in love"? please... and this is why i don't use emotion in these things. thats 6 months you could have spent with someone who treated you better. he also gave you an escape hatch..
    "doesn't have time... fuck off for good", multiple times and you still stuck around.
    Id rather not kick you while you are down. Im more concerned about how you are going to handle moving on from this and go back to the strong girl you used to be. (hopefully without emotions this time).
    Just hinting, Time and a whole lotta "leave him alone" would do you some good. A replacement will work even better. I know what its like to be forced to leave someone you care deeply for so i can tell you it won't be easy. just give it time and him, space. Yes that includes no responding to text messages.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • He's an asshole! Find someone new. You don't need to put up with treatment like that. Ugh...

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    • "CHU CHU!!!" support group train lol... except its right this time though

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    • thats always the part that saddens me... many don't. I've seen some people that just don't, but i can understand this situation... its easier to say than do in this situation. but if she does do it, gotta give a girl her props...
      its not that hard to ignore someone though

    • @Tdieseler He goes from telling me to fuck off.. to being persistent asking to see me to 'work it out' (which are the texts i'm getting now).. this is why it normally goes back to square one because I cave in because my heart takes over. But the way he's accusing me today makes me pretty sure he took someone back lastnight, which I would never forgive him for

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • It's more a female thing to " want what they can't have " , women find attached men more attractive than single men , it's " Pre Selection " in action.

    My question to you is , what the hell are you still doing with this excuse for a " man " ? He has basically told you to F off. Delete his details & ignore him from now on. Stay single & rebuild your smashed up self esteem , focus on your self. Seem you have been infected by " Bad Boy " syndrome & been sucked in by him. On the bright side if / when you are ready to date again , a woman in your age group is in high demand.

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    • "in high demand".. I lold! Thank you for making my day!

    • I'm serious here !! Trust me you WILL be in demand , women are much more desirable than men & that's from BOTH genders , you will have tons of options , from mostly decent guys !! I've been in a similar place to you , shit people come in both genders !! Get rid of him & heal yourself mentally , or you will end up bitter & hateful. Feel free to directly PM me , I've been burned before more than once , now a single dad to those 2 in my picture.

  • I prefer things i can have.

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  • can't you just leave him sister?

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What Girls Said 1

  • Please save your life and leave him already! 6 months is no jokes. Would you be happy to spend the rest of your life with a man like that? I couldn't even call him a man. He sound so insecure and he hides his insecurity by pulling you down and putting all the blame on you. Start dating someone else and settle with the one who will bring out the best in you.

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