Girls, why is my ex being so heartless?

Well, I just got out a 4 month relationship (I know, no big deal) Anyways, this girl had me head over heels for her. I gave her so much, and I treated her right. The only thing that went wrong was my insecurities. She always told me she would never hurt me, or anything like that. Told me she wasn't like the others. So, we just kept going. Anyways, she broke up with me, and well I'm heartbroken. She wanted to be friends, but I declined, because it didn't feel right. I felt like I've given her so much power over me, because I begged her to give me another chance. She said she would think about it, but it just seems like she doesn't give two shits about anything. I went creeping on her Instagram, and she had little captions about how happy she was with life, and how she gets to make her own decisions (Graduating High school) Feels like I was a road block.. A person who claimed they loved me so much, and I trusted so much.. Is being so heartless.. We didn't leave off on bad terms or anything. I could've cussed her out, and called her every name in the book, but I wished her the best of luck, and I hoped she reached all her goals. I'm just confused.. I'm the one who is here sobbing, and drowning myself in my own sorrows. I just don't understand..


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What Girls Said 3

  • Don't take it personal, this is just the sad after effects of breakups, painful ones of those we love dearly or care about a a lot.. Unfortunately, shit happens and we have to sometimes just pick ourselves back up and move on.
    It's life, grief your time, you'll need it, but don't worry.. I promise you will be good again with time :) Time heals all wounds, if not most.. This is just the rain before the sunshine tomorrow. TOmorrow is another day.

    Take it as it comes and just accept that you had a good time while it lasted, and she will not be the only person you will love and have a good time with. Everything will be alright, in due time :) <3 take care and I hope you feel better soon.

    See it as a positive thing that you can feel and you know what it means to love and feel true emotions. Sadly not many can. It's a good thing :) dont worry. ;-)

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  • Insecurity is one of the biggest things to ever ruin a relationship. She might even be relieved to not have to cater to your fragile feelings anymore. I hate to be so harsh, but it's the truth.

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    • Honestly, they only got in the way once. After that, I dropped them because I knew I had her. She's the one who called quits, and walked away. Like, I stated in the paragraph. I did nothing wrong to her. I treated her with respect, and I tried my best to make her so happy. The more we progressed in our relationship, the more she started to show less effort. When we did break up, I went and tried to fight for her, but she still walked away. Now, she's being cold hearted (In my opinion) It just hurts like hell, because I opened myself up to her, and told her stuff, I thought I would take to the grave. She had my full trust, and everything. I just don't understand how she can walk away so easily.

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    • Wow, it feels like I'm being bashed here. I came here for advice on how to move on, and why is she acting a certain way. Honestly, if all girls are going to say it's a "defensive mechanism", then I should be able to say me being insecure was the same. I don't want her back, and I realized me going back begging was a huge mistake. Feels like I'm being kicked while I'm down. Thanks though.

    • Nope, not bashing. It's tough love. Sometimes you don't hear what you want to hear. But you NEED to hear it. Look, I'm in my mid 40s, been around the block and have learned much. Learn from this and don't repeat it on the next relationship. I've been insecure too in the past and have also had partners who were which is why I know what I'm talking about.

      You come for advice... not for a pity party. Pick yourself up and move on...

  • People only put on social media what they WANT you to see. Even though she's saying she's happy, she's probably miserable. If she's not miserable, she's loving the attention you're giving her. Let her be! No matter how good you were to her, if she's not into you... she's not into you. You can't force people to feel how you feel. Leave her alone. Cry about it and then move on. You're too young to be hooked on a girl who could careless about you. And whatever you're insecure about... fix it or deal with it.

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    • I understand, and I'm not trying to force her to be with me. I just want to know why she's being so heartless. She's making it seem like I'm the bad person and shit. I've cried my tears, and decided to move on with my life. It feels like she's trying to play games with me, and I don't have time for it. I just want closure.

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    • You don't need closure! Her breaking up with you is closure. Don't question it. Just let it go.

    • Honestly I fucked up so much, with the whole post break up. I went back begging for her, and asking for another chance.. I told her I would wait for her. I feel so dumb, because I don't beg for anyone, or wait. I feel like, she has the upper hand right now, because she knows "I'll wait" for her. But, spending two weeks without her, just made me realize, why am I going to wait for someone who doesn't care or love me back. I want closure , because I feel like I can say I'm over and all this stuff, but I want to go tell her in her face, that I'm completely done with everything, and I'm not waiting. I want to cut this dead weight, I'm dragging around.

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