So me and my ex girlfriend have been in each others lives for 5 years.(dated on and off but stayed close through them all) We've had huge impacts on each others lives also and now its just crazy. We both agreed that we wanted to spend our lives together and were planning on marriage and everything. She wasn't sure what she wanted and I let her decide on her own (for the most part) and literally just got her back, (dating for a few days) but our feelings have only grown. We have been intimate in every area of the relationship, but she changes on me like the hands of a clock. We hadn't had sex yet (out of respect for her) but we had a sexual encounter (oral) that she said scared the hell out of her (not to me but to her friends) and continued on like nothing was wrong.(it was a mutual experience for us both) It didn't come up until we discussed marriage and her wanting to wait. Now before we ever got to serious I made sure that she was comfortable with me in every area and she said yes and if not she would tell me. And in this, she didn't. At first she wasn't going to make me wait (for sex) then she had a change of heart and I told her the truth about how I felt. I told her I didn't mind waiting but she went from until she ready to just marriage and said we could still do everything else. I told her that it disgusted me and I wouldn't feel comfortable even touching her (not literally but yeah) I told her waiting would just make me miserable and she felt like she couldnt meet half way. After long hard disagreements and fights. We ended and I don't know how but I hurt her. I couldve handle the situation better but I'm just to straighy forward. I tried talking to her and getting her back, but she just pushes me away. Ik she's hurt and needs her space but I just want to make things right. We were so certain but she has lost all respect for me it seems and weve been through this before and im quite tired of repeating this cycle. Also were in a LDR. Where did I go wrong?
What can I do to make things right?
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