I'm just devastated. I put in so much effort and love towards my ex for us to break up. She said she's not attracted to me and that she wants to remain friends. I've constantly tell her that I can't just be friends with her. It would hurt me too much to see her with someone else. Even in the future, I can't just stay friends with her because a part of me will always be sad because I wanted to be with her. It was not a mutual break up but rather she broke up with me. We've been fighting on and off everyday for the past 3 weeks. The last fight we had (2 days ago) I practically begged her to please talk to me about it and she doesn't want to. Immediately after that fight she doesn't want to see me, she blocked me on social media, etc. I haven't seen her since then. I didn't mean to creep but she hasn't been active on social media either (used my buddy's FB for a few min to check) . I don't want to lost her and I don't know what to do. She's become a huge part of my life and we ended up being best friends in a short amount of time before we started dating. No amount of talking and communication between us solved anything because she wanted to just be friends and I wanted a relationship. Ever since we broke up, we still hanged out as friends but it was awkward and not the same and we argued when this subject was bought up. When we were in a relationship, she told me she was unhappy despite me feeling happy. I don't get it because i still hanged out with her everyday like we usually did and we did what we always did together. On top of friendship I offered a relationship with me too. So how can she be unhappy. Right now, I have no way of reaching out to her because she doesn't have a phone at the moment. My social media accounts are deactivated and she has me blocked so no way to reach out to one another. What do I do? I just feel lost and I don't know what to do anymore. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Most Helpful Girl
You have to let go :( That we can still be friends thing... it only works with mutual break ups. I know you don't want to hear this, but she doesn't need to give you a reason why. And if you have to talk someone into getting back together, it won't last. I'm so sorry, because I know it hurts.0
Most Helpful Guy
It sounds like you're not really paying much attention to her.
You seemed happy. She did not. That pretty much sums it up.
Did you even notice that she wasn't happy? If she's your girlfriend, you should understand her emotions enough to know when she's unhappy. I can tell my wife's mood without even seeing her as soon as she walks in the door by the sound of her footsteps and the way she closes the door.
Obviously, nobody is happy if you two are arguing daily for 3 weeks. While every couple argues from time to time, a daily argument usually spells a relationship breakdown. Your behavior in those arguments will also play a major role in what she thinks of a future with you.
If you are like most men and have a gigantic ego and refuse to lose an argument, your relationship success will be low forever. Many men with large egos NEED to win an argument. This means they value their ego and pride more than the girl. They would rather humiliate their girlfriend and make her feel wrong, rather than suck up their pride and come to a resolution. I would say neither party is right or wrong in most arguments. What's important that the argument end in a manner where you two still talk to each other afterwards, instead of sulking away and not speaking to each other for hours or days.
Phrases starting with "You never..." or "You always..." are the wrong ways to argue. Basically placing blame on the other person. Like "You never wash the dishes". Yet, I'm sure such a statement is untrue because both people I'm assuming have washed the dishes at some time.
My advice, and this is probably the greatest advice you'll get in your entire life...
When you are talking to someone, whether it's a conversation, argument, negotiation, bartering... etc... Focus...
Ask youself what your goal is. If your goal is to win and humiliate her and lose face with her. Then you've achieved your goal and the breakup is your reward.
If you want her, or future girlfriends to still love you after an argument, then determine what outcome must result for this to happen. If she's only happy if she wins, then bite the bullet and let her win. If she only needs you to see her point of view, then acknowledge her point of view and do not push your own upon her.
Most guys act first and hope that the action leads to the result they wanted. Few are wise enough to determine what action must be made for the result they want.0