Ex won't talk to me, blocked me on social media etc?

I'm just devastated. I put in so much effort and love towards my ex for us to break up. She said she's not attracted to me and that she wants to remain friends. I've constantly tell her that I can't just be friends with her. It would hurt me too much to see her with someone else. Even in the future, I can't just stay friends with her because a part of me will always be sad because I wanted to be with her. It was not a mutual break up but rather she broke up with me. We've been fighting on and off everyday for the past 3 weeks. The last fight we had (2 days ago) I practically begged her to please talk to me about it and she doesn't want to. Immediately after that fight she doesn't want to see me, she blocked me on social media, etc. I haven't seen her since then. I didn't mean to creep but she hasn't been active on social media either (used my buddy's FB for a few min to check) . I don't want to lost her and I don't know what to do. She's become a huge part of my life and we ended up being best friends in a short amount of time before we started dating. No amount of talking and communication between us solved anything because she wanted to just be friends and I wanted a relationship. Ever since we broke up, we still hanged out as friends but it was awkward and not the same and we argued when this subject was bought up. When we were in a relationship, she told me she was unhappy despite me feeling happy. I don't get it because i still hanged out with her everyday like we usually did and we did what we always did together. On top of friendship I offered a relationship with me too. So how can she be unhappy. Right now, I have no way of reaching out to her because she doesn't have a phone at the moment. My social media accounts are deactivated and she has me blocked so no way to reach out to one another. What do I do? I just feel lost and I don't know what to do anymore. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • You have to let go :( That we can still be friends thing... it only works with mutual break ups. I know you don't want to hear this, but she doesn't need to give you a reason why. And if you have to talk someone into getting back together, it won't last. I'm so sorry, because I know it hurts.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • It sounds like you're not really paying much attention to her.

    You seemed happy. She did not. That pretty much sums it up.
    Did you even notice that she wasn't happy? If she's your girlfriend, you should understand her emotions enough to know when she's unhappy. I can tell my wife's mood without even seeing her as soon as she walks in the door by the sound of her footsteps and the way she closes the door.

    Obviously, nobody is happy if you two are arguing daily for 3 weeks. While every couple argues from time to time, a daily argument usually spells a relationship breakdown. Your behavior in those arguments will also play a major role in what she thinks of a future with you.

    If you are like most men and have a gigantic ego and refuse to lose an argument, your relationship success will be low forever. Many men with large egos NEED to win an argument. This means they value their ego and pride more than the girl. They would rather humiliate their girlfriend and make her feel wrong, rather than suck up their pride and come to a resolution. I would say neither party is right or wrong in most arguments. What's important that the argument end in a manner where you two still talk to each other afterwards, instead of sulking away and not speaking to each other for hours or days.

    Phrases starting with "You never..." or "You always..." are the wrong ways to argue. Basically placing blame on the other person. Like "You never wash the dishes". Yet, I'm sure such a statement is untrue because both people I'm assuming have washed the dishes at some time.

    My advice, and this is probably the greatest advice you'll get in your entire life...

    When you are talking to someone, whether it's a conversation, argument, negotiation, bartering... etc... Focus...

    Ask youself what your goal is. If your goal is to win and humiliate her and lose face with her. Then you've achieved your goal and the breakup is your reward.

    If you want her, or future girlfriends to still love you after an argument, then determine what outcome must result for this to happen. If she's only happy if she wins, then bite the bullet and let her win. If she only needs you to see her point of view, then acknowledge her point of view and do not push your own upon her.

    Most guys act first and hope that the action leads to the result they wanted. Few are wise enough to determine what action must be made for the result they want.

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    • Something I never put up there but I did notice something wrong at times. I've always confronted about it but she always tells me everything's fine. in the end she's always the one who pushed herself away when I wanted to reconcile. And when she feels as though sheds been done wrong or have been down, she's the one who teaches out to me and I'm the one who always ends up forgiving her because I love her. . So in the end, I'm always biting the bullet, not her.

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What Girls Said 4

  • just move on

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  • Give it time im sure she still cares for you

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  • Respect that and leave her alone

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  • same thing happened to me. trust me, don't go begging on your knees... don't do anything, it makes it worse. They will never come back.

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What Guys Said 4

  • Having someone block like that and breakup really hurts, no question about it. There is a woman on this site that has the exact same issue right now.. her guy bailed and won't talk to her... after quite a while and fights.

    There are reasons she was unhappy and the fights and we don't have those details. It really doesn't matter though, she has basically said... do not contact me, it is over. So you have to accept that. Get a counselor to help you process your feelings about this and learn what went wrong. Keeping focus on what you cannot get is not going to help. As noted by others, charging after her just back fires, your approach to her is not working. Emotional (it sounds needy on your part) approaches drive people away. That tells me there is something wrong here under the hood of this relationship. Did this girl remind you of someone... like your mom that you lost or something. Just seems you have a very strong draw to her and it doesn't sound healthy. definitely get a counselor.

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  • Don't do anything, that's the best thing to do. She wants some distance and you've got to respect that and give it to her. By chasing after her and trying to get on good terms you're telling her that you're available for her completely even though she isn't giving you anything... And she doesn't respect your care anymore. She's initiated this situation not you, you have nothing to blame yourself for.. She broke up with you, so you've got to accept that, focus on yourself and remove her from your life. She may eventually start to miss you and may come back, if you want her back after all that... It's up to you then, but constantly trying to communicate with her now is just going to make her want to get further away from you.

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  • Take the poison pill amigo: Pretend she never existed, delete everything, focus on her negatives, eat ice cream and date and meet other women like tonight!

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  • Walk away. Keep on walking. Do not look back.
    You are becoming an obsessive stalker, which is a criminal offence.
    As I heard an American motivational speaker say: "When the music stops, it is time to stop dancing."
    The relationship is over and it is screamingly obvious that she does not want to see or hear from you again.
    Move on.

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