Why would someone start messaging you after a bad relationship?

I was in a friends with benefits situation, and we had a falling out. Her roommate, mutual friends, and even her brother told me to get out of the relationship and get away from her before this happened. They said she's a really messed up girl and that I would be happier in a formal relationship with someone who actually treated me well instead of using me like a footstool. Needless to say I was stupid and didn't listen. Then when I found her with some guy she met on Tinder, it turned out to be the first of a line of guys she started getting around with. I got pissed but she acted as if nothing happened and treated our relationship the same, trying to get physical when I was drunk (she was sober and pulled me into our friend's basement at a party).

After that I told her I wouldn't take this anymore, and I didn't want to see her thereafter. She said that she never was interested in sleeping with me anyway (we had been doing this for two years at this point), and denied all responsibility for anything. She said I had no right to take advantage of her and she did nothing wrong, even though she made a habit of insulting me in public and kicking or hitting me when she got upset. The fight split up our entire group, with some people siding with me and some with her, more based on personal feelings towards either person than knowing the details of the fight itself.

Its been close to a year since this happened now, and I've recently come back from studying in Europe. Needless to say there were thousands of miles between us, but now she starts messaging me again asking when I'm coming back and that she wants to see me. I've ignored the messages thus far since I know responding will only cause me problems, though its hard because half my friends at school are still involved with her (same social circle, some live with her). What should I do in this situation?


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What Girls Said 2

  • Keep doing what you're doing. It's for the best

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  • Maybe she wants to apologise? Get back together?

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What Guys Said 1

  • She probably just want to be your friend

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