Wishy Washy Ex Boyfriend?

Hi everyone! I have googled, read articles, pretty much anything I can think of; I need some advice: I was seeing a guy for 2 years. We live 60 miles apart. We broke up in March. We didn't speak up until about 3 weeks ago. I feel like he isn't into anymor. He will text me back when I text him. He will sometimes answer if I call. But he barely makes time for me though. We have hung out twice in 3 weeks (once was for dinner, the send was for 45 minutes on Saturday night when I stopped by to say hi on my way home). I constantly feel like I am bothering him. When I asked him if he was interested in trying again, he told me he is happy with the way things are and wants to be just friends for now. I told him okay (we haven't had sex) and asked if we should see other people. He told me no, that he has no interest in being with any other girls and that he does not want to be done seeing me. I'm not sure what to do at this point.. I have been texting him less because when we text too much we argue. I don't blow up his phone like in the past. I do trust him. Sometimes I wonder though if I stopped putting in effort, if he would care. Anyway, some advice would be great and appreciated! Thank you :)


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  • I think what is happening here is he knows you are into him and want to be with him so he knows he can get by not doing much and is likely also holding you out as a option. It might not seem like that but when you look deeper he should know by now if he wants to be with you or not and if he wants to he'll be trying to win you over and will want to spend as much time and effort on you. It doesn't sound like he's really doing that to me which indicates where you are at in his priority list. The only way to remedy this is to yes, stop putting in effort without making a fuss. Don't initiate anymore. Let him do the work. If he truly wants you, he'll reach out. If he doesn't, you know he couldn't have been that into you.

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  • I would honestly give him space. Allow him to miss you. If you keep in constant contact with him, you're only making it easier for him to get what he wants out of whatever you guys are currently.

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